There is a question on my Proust account that I answered 15 months ago :
What is your biggest weakness?
And my answer was just in one word :
Insecurity.
And after more than one year later, if I ask myself again the same question, I will give the same answer. How can after a year passed, I am still dealing with the same weakness?
Will it ever be better? Will I ever find my peace of mind and soul , giving my whole life to what has been written ? Or will it still be the same ?
Sometimes I feel like a teenage girl, still whining on a blog that has been created so public, asking for an attention ? Or is it just a way to express my worry thoughts? Or everything is just another excuse to feel ever so important? Sometimes I lost track of the main reason.
My sister asked me on what am I going to do if my life has been written in a way that I don't really want or ask for? I am not sure, I guess I'll keep on living.
There is no any other choice, It is like playing a chess game with a computer, knowing the computer actually knows all the possibilities of your next step. Playing a well-programmed planned game and we will be the clueless opponent. It is not fair, but that is life.
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