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Little Story 244 - The Session

August 28, 2022


I went to get a full body massage last Friday (after a week of feeling nauseous, full and bloated). Usually I get extra 'bloaty' during PMS but last week been awful, I can't eat, I got heartburn and extra anxious as well. It has been a cold week and I'm prone to sickness during cold season. 

I wore extra layers, I drank warm drinks during the day and hot tea at night, I took hot shower, soak my legs in epsom salt bath, I wore socks when I sleep, I even bought long sleeve pajama set and took out my 'cold-season' sweater. I don't know how other sensitive-to-weather-changes people survive this without falling sick 😂 I feel old, I even look old, like granny in a sweater and socks, holding hot tea and massaging body with ginger oil after meal. I didn't know what else to do.

Anyway, I had to let this 'wind' (angin badan) out - I don't fart/burp as much as normal people do, so I get sick often because there is too much wind. This pinching pain on my abdomen (like heartburn) + chest area, the nauseousness, the fatigue, the wind, there is no medical term perfect to summarize this (I asked a doctor before and the doctor said there is no such thing as 'angin badan', but I choose to disagree). 

When this happen, I usually go for a massage, specifically to let out the 'angin'. Before this, I also tried acupressure, acupuncture, dry cupping (bekam), and guasha massage : these also help with letting the 'angin' out, relaxing the muscle and just help me with my conditions.  

So I contacted a 'Muslimah' massage therapist near my house, she specifically focused on helping female clients, and she does it at her house. Honestly, I don't know whether I should blindly trust someone I found online (well don't - it's dangerous). But I went to her house anyway, creeped out a bit, a nice decent flat home, really dark when I came in (perhaps to create a 'private/intimate' atmosphere), she gave me a cold water that I pretended to drink because I was a bit worried, then she sent me to the middle room to get change. The room was decorated with decent looking mattress, there was massage certificates on the wall, a small banner for her business, some candles and also some massage equipments. She provided a piece of 'batik lepas', asked me to take off everything except for the underwear. Redho je lah kan. 

But despite that, it was an amazing massage session. She even gave me extra 15 mins of head/face massage. It was a bit painful when she focused on some troubled points (especially the abdomen part and the 'sengkak'). She said everything was good, just a bit of 'wind' here and there. Nothing too problematic, she said my body frame is quite small, so it was really easy for her physically compared to other clients. She mentioned to take care of my consumption, don't drink 'cold' water or foods, choose veggies & fruits that are suitable for my body type. 

All in all, the massage session was a bliss and it helped me. I mean, she burped like no one's business the whole session, like the sound of wild animals - other than that, it was a great session. I would want to go for another session if she could go to my house instead because I am NOT comfortable getting a massage at a stranger's house. 

Right after the session, I ate like I fasted for a week, and the nausea wasn't that bad anymore. The day after, the symptoms subsided and there is still a remaining feeling like a small lump left in the small corner of my abdomen. I still drink hot drinks and really picky with my food consumption because I miss not feeling awful. I even lost almost 2 kg not doing anything :F

There is no lesson from this story : it is just something I put my trust on blindly because I was desperate for a solution after I tried everything I can myself. 

Little Thing 252 : Wordless

August 27, 2022

When you wake up really early in the morning and you stare at the computer screen, thinking what to write but everything you wish you could capture from your thoughts dissolves into mists. 

Here is the playlist I listened to. <

Image from unsplash

Books - Borrowing Books

August 26, 2022

I've been borrowing a lot of books from my former teacher and my online friends (I'm making a huge effort !) I'm proud to say that I now have 3 online friends that I manage to talk about books and borrow books from. 

In this current phase, I'm slowly changing to become my 'real' self and accepting that I feel so comfortable with being alone (and it is okay), I'm getting more and more socially awkward. I did have the same tendency since I was young, but I had to 'fit in' into the societal requirements, so I had to always make an effort. Now I don't.

So I'm really proud of myself for making effort to go out from my comfort zone and make online friends :D


Here is all the graphic novels and fiction books that I borrowed from Maisarah :

I'm excited for the Handmaid's Tale (because I want to read it for awhile), also Wonder by Beatrice Blue - I want to enjoy her artworks and read her process (but I don't want to buy and keep the physical book), Anxious People by Fridrik Backman is probably a good read for me (because I've been anxious a lot since the pandemic and since Sofi), and sure books by Lucy Knisley (because I read all the early years book but somehow fell out of love from her art), the Nutcracker and the Mouse by Natalie Andrewson (I can enjoy her artwork - it reminds me of Over the Garden Wall series), other than that Feelings : A Story in Seasons by Manjit Thapp & The Prince and the Dressmaker by Jen Wang (recommended by Maisarah herself). 


The left one is books from Ms Chin (my former English teacher), most of the books were thriller and written by female writers. Our agreement is to let me read the book and then help her sell the preloved books on my Shopee after I finished it. By now I think I've already read and sell at least 5-6 of her books. 

All the Elif Shafak's books on the right side is from DD. I love Elif Shafak and if I still collect books, I would love to have a row of her works on my book shelf. I already read Black Milk (about motherhood) and currently reading Three Daughters of Eve (about God).


So I currently have a bunch of books around in my bedroom : on the right table (where I put all the TBR books), on the left (where I sleep, the books that I'm currently reading & my Kindle), and on the bed's front (all the TBR novel graphics). 

I have so many books to read and these books will be returned to the owners when I finish it. I'm not tied to the physical thing but I can still enjoy reading the physical books. Isn't it amazing ? 

I don't know about other people, but for me, this is an amazing setup. But IF I could change one thing, I would want the busy side road window to change into a nature view, no vehicle sounds, or morning trash trucks or busy road bustling with life, just the sound of nature and fresh air. 

Books - I Listened/Read to Anne of Green Gables Book Series (11 books)

August 02, 2022

I've been having some thoughts after finishing 7 of Anne of Green Gables book series, that, we will eventually forget our childhood excitement. That we will become tired and hardly ever feel excited about everything anymore. Here's a good comic about what I'm writing about. 

Anne starts the book with so much joy and excitement towards life, she is innocent, she has an amazing imagination, great friends and she is a big-hearted person. She cares so much about people around her, the trees, the animals, the littlest things. Those are the things that make me adore Anne so much. 

After more than 20 years (I only read 3 books when I was in school), I decided to reread these series and finally finish them up so I listened to her story throughout July. 

Afterwards in the series : she went to school, she graduated, she became a teacher, she got married, she became a mother, she had many children, then WW1 happened, her children were big enough to get listed to the war and throughout the war, there were many sadness and war anxieties, later there were grief. Anne wasn't the same jolly kid she was, she grew up and grew old. In Rilla of the Ingleside (the last book in the series), Anne & Gilbert were hardly there, or mostly just in the background. I'm a bit surprised by how seemingly abrupt their life stories ended. Where was dear Marilla? Where was Diana ? I need closure.  

Anne is one of my favorite character. What happened to her in the end? Did she die old and content among her family and friends? Did they get over the grief? I felt like it wasn't fair, life isn't fair. She had so much hopes for life and I wanted her to be happy in the end. 

But, that was written around 100 years back and nothing could ever be changed now, can it? What can I expect from the war ? It was such a terrible time and it was fairly expected. Nothing good can come out from such sadness. 

**Books in the series (based on the publication order)

  1. Anne of Green Gables (pub. April 1908) - finished
  2. Anne of Avonlea (pub. August 1909) - finished
  3. Anne of the Island (pub. July 1915) - finished
  4. Anne's House of Dreams (pub. August 1917) - finished
  5. Rainbow Valley (pub. August 1919) - finished
  6. Rilla of Ingleside (pub. autumn 1921) - finished
  7. Anne of Windy Poplars (pub. August 1936) - currently reading
  8. Anne of Ingleside (pub. July 1939) - can't find yet

Short stories/poems compiled (about residents of Avonlea) :

  1. Chronicle of Avonlea (pub. 1912) - finished
  2. Further Chronicles of Avonlea (pub. 1920) - finished
  3. The Blythes Are Quoted (pub. 2009) - can't find yet

I wish we had more. 

I know the WW1 was a terrible time and L M Montgomery was writing during such a difficult phase in the 1900s. Imagine having to write something so hopeful and innocent in the early years and slowly turning into something darker and sad over time. The writer went thru WW1, battled through depression, survived 'Spanish Flu' and didn't even see the end of WW2. 

Her final note found on her bedside :
... I have lost my mind by spells and I do not dare think what I may do in those spells. May God forgive me and I hope everyone else will forgive me even if they cannot understand. My position is too awful to endure and nobody realizes it. What an end to a life in which I tried always to do my best."



Side note :

So as a mother I feel like I need to freeze these childhood moments. We decided to record and compile them in videos, so we can see them again and again, especially when things are tough and we forget these little things that make us happy or excited. Eventually all these little memories that we are creating for Sofi will be gone or forgotten, she wouldn't remember them when she is all grown up.

This is where we keep our videos - her first Ikea trip, her first Kidzoona, her first Aquaria, her first dinosaur park, etc. I love sharing these videos with my family especially. You have no idea how many times I've rewatched these videos myself. I'm that kind of mother, I love to rewatch Sofi's videos like any normal mother would. Even my mom loves to rewatch Sofi's video over and over again when I share them in our family Whatsapp.