Book: Over-analyzing the Friction

I didn’t expect reading this book can turn into a reflection about myself, but friction often reveals more than comfort ever could. I didn't even want to talk about this book at the start.

This book made me uncomfortable in a way I didn’t expect. It felt like race was emphasized more than necessary, almost as if it was trying too hard. The lack of subtlety made it difficult for me to stay immersed in the story.

I also struggled with the excessive listing. There were too many details that didn’t feel essential to the core narrative. As I’ve mentioned before in this blog, I’m not good at processing information that feels unimportant to my brain. It becomes noise, and that noise distracted me from the emotional arc. That discomfort led to an interesting realization about my cognitive preferences. I’ve mentioned “noise” several times throughout this blog. Some writers use specificity as texture and listing as immersion. It is an intentional stylistic choice. For some readers, it works but for me, it doesn’t. It comes down to cognitive preference, so there is no right or wrong here.

I have almost zero tolerance for narrative noise. This explains why I dislike filler episodes and get bored with excessive details, especially names and numbers. With a designer’s brain, I appreciate clean, curated work. I value negative space. My brain prefer only what is necessary to move the story forward.

While I admire the richness and detail in Orhan Pamuk’s and Carlos Ruiz Zafón’s writing, I am also in awe of writers like Haruki Murakami or Kyung Sook Shin, who can express complex, weighty emotions with remarkable simplicity. Pamuk and Zafón create immersion through accumulation. Murakami and Sook Shin create depth through subtraction. On the surface, it looks simple, but we know it is not. Anyone can pile details but not everyone can remove them and still leave resonance. 

Maybe that is the contradiction I live with. I admire maximalism, but I move through the world as a minimalist. I respect the cathedral, but I build a quiet empty room for myself. And sometimes, a book is less about whether I love it or not, and more about self-discovery, observing our own thinking, about noticing the small frictions that reveal us to ourselves.

So every friction matters, take note on every annoyance, there's a lesson there. 

The book I'm referring to is Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin. 

Note: I just finished the last few chapters in one sitting yesterday while waiting for berbuka. It broke me a little, until it came to the chapter in the game (it felt like a filler episode), it could be done much better. But let's not spiral into that. 

I stand by my point, it could be better without the excessive listing. But that was just me. 

Books: Apparently January is My Reading Month

Lately on books: Yes, I've been reading a bit more than usual. 

I'll Be Right there - Kyung Sook Shin

This book made me feel small and sad in a very quiet way. It’s about grief, memory, and people who leave marks on your life even after they’re gone. Nothing is loud in this story, but everything hurts. It’s the kind of book that doesn’t break your heart all at once, it just slowly makes it heavier.

I've read her other books: Please Look After Mother & The Girl Who Wrote Loneliness 

Note: Everything she writes is sad and heavy with emotion.

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Notes to John & The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion -

Notes to John felt a bit too personal, almost like it should not have been published, like reading someone’s private diary. But seeing how she processed everything that happened in her life made me feel less alone. She talked the way I talk. She was honest in the same painfully honest way I know how.

Note: The Year of Magical Thinking was a reread.

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Card Captor Sakura by Clamp 1-6 

Yes, yes. I’m late. But we can finally read CCS locally. Kadokawa Gempak Starz finally decided to translate and publish the series after 30 years. Perfect. I’m collecting this and quietly achieving my childhood dream. Too YA for my age, but I can still enjoy the illustration. 

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Bury Our Bones in the Midnight by VESchwab 

No. I picked the wrong book, too YA for me. But I finished it because I was dedicated enough to finish a book I didn't enjoy. 

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Tuhan, Seindah Apa di Hujung Sana by Hafizul Faiz 

I really enjoy this kind of personal reflection on Qur’anic verses. The writing can feel a bit blog-gy at times, but I think that actually works, it makes it easier to digest and to take notes from. I like how he writes about why certain verses call out to him, the possible meanings of certain Arabic words used in the Qur’an, and how he weaves in his own reflections and experiences while learning and exploring.

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Currently on my reading library:

• Tomorrow Tomorrow Tomorrow (Gabrielle Zevin) - just started on Kindle
• The Great Mental Models (Physics, Chemistry, and Biology) - This is really, really, really mentally stimulating. I love this so much. I honestly wish I had read something like this when I was in school. It explains the core concepts of scientific models and relates them to real-world events. Perfect for a conceptual thinker like me.
• Cuma Aku, Lukaku, dan Tuhanku (Hafizul Faiz) - Personal reflections on the 30 juzuk of the Qur’an.
• Tak Semua Seperti Yang Kusangka (A.Shafiq) - Bought a preloved copy. I’m curious to see how local writers are writing these days.
• The Idiot (Elif Batuman) - Why am I still reading this? I’m not sure. But I’m already 70% in and dragging my feet to the finish line.

It’s a bit all over the place, kan. A chaotic mix of emotions, hardcore thinking, spiritual reflection, local curiosity, and just reading for the vibes but I think I'm on a good start.

Happy 2026 reading year!

Little Things 305: The Books

The Japanese Modern Classic:

The latest book I read was The Ruined Map by Kōbō Abe. I gave it two whole weeks. Halfway through, I was still lost in the hunt, and not the fun kind of lost. The kind where you keep turning pages hoping for a breadcrumb, but all you get is dust and déjà vu. I realized that I just don’t have the patience for unsolved mysteries right now. I don’t like being stuck in an endless loop of uncertainty, digging for answers that may not even exist. Sure, I love stories with emotional and intellectual complexities, but I need some kind of purpose or clarity towards the end, rather than endless confusion. 

It reminded me of how I felt reading Piranesi. People rave about the twist at the end. Me? It didn’t work. I hated it. Then it hit me. Maybe I hated it because it felt too familiar. The spiral. The confusion. That stagnant feeling. The loop of uncertainty. I’ve been living in that narrative for the past few years.

So no, if reading is supposed to bring me joy or escape, I’m not going to spend my quiet moments wandering another fictional maze that mirrors my own. 

I rarely do this, but I decided to DNF this book. 

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The Literary Fiction:

I’ve been slow-reading There Are Rivers in the Sky by Elif Shafak, going on two months now. And honestly, I love it that way. It’s the kind of storytelling that invites you to take your time, to pick it up whenever, and be gently carried by the lives of these three characters as they move across time and continents. 

Honestly, I could read their stories the way I once watched the first ten seasons of Grey’s Anatomy; dedicated, stretched across years, invested in every ache and arc. I’m learning bits of history and culture without even realizing it. No one weaves the intimate and the epic quite like Elif Shafak. She makes you feel like you’re sipping ancient rain through modern skin. Let me enjoy this for awhile.

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The Japanese Classic Literature:

I tried Ryunosuke Akutagawa's short stories - surprisingly nice and easy to read. Sometimes odd, sometimes bland, but always carrying something underneath. Let me mention the top three that are absolutely worth your time:

• In a Bamboo Grove - A dead samurai. Seven testimonies. No resolution.
  This one’s less about who did it and more about how truth bends under ego, guilt, and self-preservation. It’s basically the original unreliable narrator hellscape. Short, unsettling, and kind of genius. Everyone has their own truth (or lie), and the brilliance is in the contrast, not in what they say, but why and how. You’re left to decide what's real. Or just embrace the confusion.
• Dragon: The Old Potter’s Tale - A cheeky monk plays a prank, announces a dragon will rise from a pond on a certain day. People show up. A crowd forms. Tension builds. It’s not really about the dragon. It’s about belief. About how mass conviction can turn fiction into shared reality. Feels like a silly bedtime story, but hits you later like a quiet philosophy class.
• Kappa - Now this one’s a trip. A man falls into a world of mythical river creatures, the Kappa, and instead of awe, we get a dark, satirical mirror of our own messed-up society. Think Gulliver’s Travels but with more existential dread and passive-aggressive frogs. It tackles mental illness, selective breeding, capitalism, and creative despair, all in under 60 pages. Wildly strange, uncomfortably real. A weird little masterpiece.

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Been reading a lot since last month, I stopped reading after I started working last year because I didn't have the energy (and time). But lately I really make an effort to read, it is hard for me to consume any media since I started working (not even Youtube). I am not sure why. 

I love that I started enjoying reading again.

Little Stories 291: Still Coughing, Books I Read and the Library

3 weeks:

3 weeks, I have been sick with a really bad cough for 3 weeks now. I tried the antibiotic, finished its course and it didn't get better, it worsened actually, I went to the doctor for the second time for a consultation and he said to try another batch of other antibiotics. But I wanted to give it another week and see whether it would improve by myself. I got another batch of cough syrup and medication to help loosen the phlegm and reduce the bad cough because I was having headaches due to coughing so much. 

Now reaching week 3 and I think it is slowly getting better (there is a ray of hope). 

But I think Sofi caught the cough virus and now she is starting to cough.

I mean, 3 weeks is quite long to avoid getting infected kan.

Kiwi really helps with the phlegm. 

I don't know whether these help but I consumed all these daily: Lemon myrtle tea and Madu Tualang. A lot of warm water. No oily and spicy foods. 

Even my covid-cough was not as bad as this. 

What should you do if you are an anxious person?

Try not to focus on the problem that we can't control.

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A Library Visit and Books I Finished Reading Today:

I was sick, so I avoided crowded places.

But I needed to return the book, so today I masked up and went to the library, had my 8,000 steps keyed in, explored more books, got other new books, finished reading Elastic in the morning before the library was open, and then had a quickie with Mr. Salary at the Library and then finished Beauty and Sadness after I went back home (read during lunch and commute back). 

Books finished today:

• Elastic by Leonard Mlodinow was informative and an interesting read - the language was easy to understand as well,  so my nerd mind loved it. It took almost 4 weeks to finish it though, so I extended the borrowing time. Finally finished it today but kena denda 20 sen.
• Mr Salary by Sally Rooney: It was only 33 pages long, a short story collected by Faber & Faber. Love that I can just finish it in one short sitting. I think I would read anything by Sally Rooney at this point.    
• Beauty and Sadness by Yasunari Kawabata: I didn't think a book written in the 60s by a Japanese writer could be this beautifully sad. Ok, this is a bit unfair - I don't read that much translated Asian classic literature. But oh my, this book is a gem. This book reminds me of Murakami, but it was written way before him. Yasunari Kawabata won a Nobel Prize for Literature in 1968, but I'd never heard of him before. I have around a dozen of his books to try next. 

Oh, I visited PPAS Bangi last weekend, out of curiosity.

And I was disappointed because of how loud, how messy, how chaotic, and how little books they had - compared with Perpustakaan Kuala Lumpur. It was totally different vibes. I mean, PPAS didn't feel like a library :F Now I have a new appreciation towards PKL.

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Greek Lessons by Han Kang:

I finally got a copy of Han Kang's Greek Lessons, which was the right decision because it was beautiful. I love beautiful writing, and the book was like poetry in fiction, like pain written in art. It was short and quick, I didn't want it to end but that's more reason to reread it again to appreciate the writing. 

But in this case, it is a translation. I don't know whether it was as beautiful when it was written in its original language. That's the thing about translated works, they give so many nuances. Is it a faithful representation or is it polished? Nabokov said direct translation is the main importance in translating, that it is not the job of the translator to make it "beautiful". But Jorge Luis Borges said that the translator's job is to translate and enrich and transform it: “Translation is a more advanced stage of civilization”. Not the same approach. 

So if a translated book wins a prize, does the writer and translator both deserve the award? If I was touched by the writing, was it because of the translated work or the story itself? As someone who works in the creative field, of course, for me, collaboration is always great. I don't think a good artist/writer needs to work alone to come up with a great work of art. Imagine a genius working with a genius, it might create something much better, or it might not. Who knows. But it is always good to work together. Kan?

Ok, I might need to read more of her books then.

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Book : The Nerd Talk - About Library

Your Library, My Library

I found WorldCat, a global database of library materials. 

I would type in a specific book I want to find and the catalog will show you which library "near you" got the book you can borrow. Unfortunately, most books in Malaysia do not carry the books that I'm searching for. I'm saddened by the realization of the limited free resources from our local libraries. Now that I can search the books I want online, I don't have to waste my time visiting all our local libraries just to see whether they have the books. 

I'm curious to read non-fiction by Hermann Hesse or The Red Book by Carl Jung or classic literature by Kobo Abe or Yukio Mishima. These are rare and expensive books that I might not want to keep, but still curious to read - and they are available in Singapore's National Library, so why can't we at least have a copy too :F

Also, Singapore and Australia have an impressive library listing (based on the search), so I might need to relocate. 

Then, yesterday I went to Kino and they are selling Penguin Modern Classics from Kobo Abe to Franz Kafka, from Albert Camus to Yukio Mishima and Henry Miller, from Nabokov to Jean-Paul Sartre. Our library should buy the whole Penguin Modern Classics, at least one book each, because if it is not from classic literature then how would we learn? They are important resources. A good library should have all the classic literature because only the important ones survive the time. If the next generation doesn't read these books, they will miss out huge chance to learn about the past. I mean if they can have all the mangas in the KL library, then why can't they have at least a good amount of the world's classic literature? 

I don't want to own the whole set, I'm just curious to read them and perhaps just keep one or two that I like. So we need to have a good library:

If rich people could buy great literature and donate it to our libraries, that would be amazing. 

Imagine these people spend around RM 1,000 each for the Penguin Modern Classics.

• The book is around RM 65 each, we might get around 15 copies. 
• There are around 1000 books by Penguin Modern Classics.
• We might need around 67 donators
• That's probably around RM 65k (if the gov wants to subsidize) 

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Book/Movie : All of Us Strangers

 

All of Us Strangers:

In April, I listened to a book called Strangers by Taichi Yamada. I found All of Us Strangers on Hotstar this week, and I thought I would watch it just to feed my curiosity - anything by Andrew Scott or Paul Mescal has been great so far. The movie is loosely based on the book - the rough idea is the same, but the story, the representation, and the focus are totally different.

Strangers felt like reading Murakami - probably because I read a translation, it always feels raw and too "clean" to read translated Japanese/Korean fiction, and then it touches upon loneliness. Both reminded me of Murakami. Men in pain trope. 

But then, All of Us Strangers was different, a good different. It is a beautiful movie, perhaps just like watching Call Me By Your Name (if you know you know). It might be not for everyone, but it is still a beautiful movie for me. I cried so much. The first half was a little bit hard to watch, but then the second half was just painfully beautiful. It's great if you don't know anything about the story - but be warned that you might need to deal with uncomfortable scenes. 

Beautiful parts portrayed in the movie:

• of childhood trauma
• of wanting to be seen, loved, and understood 
• of loneliness in a group, in a family, in society
• of vulnerability
• of grief & letting go
• of acceptance 

Just painstakingly beautiful. Tsk.

There was this scene when Andrew was talking in the bed with his "mom" because he couldn't sleep, and they were talking about intricate plans that he imagined could have happened. And because I'm a mother now, this scene hit me and my tears were flowing so fast. 

When she said that she remembered she used to feel like she desperately wanted him to grow up fast so that she could have a good night's sleep - because he always had something that he was scared of and couldn't sleep in his room. Then he said sorry for those times, and she said she was sorry, she should have relished those moments T^T

And that scene when he personally had the talk with his dad and he asked questions that he has kept for a long time - we know these moments rarely happen in real life. These heart-to-heart talks with our parents when we are all adults - these unspoken childhood dramas. 

To tell you the truth, childhood trauma stays with you for a really long time. Especially when we pretend it isn't there. There is something about how mentally unprepared we are with the pain that makes it stay permanent, it is there like an old tattoo - faded and ugly. So, in the movie, when he said it was okay it was a long time ago, but then ugly cried - I can relate. 

The book was plain and just - lonely. 

The movie was emotional, made me feel stuff and cry. 

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Books - The Courage To Be Disliked and Adler's Theory on Separation of Tasks

 

I'm continuing back this book: The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga. I bought this book last year and have been trying to finish this up (but it is taking too long).

The issue with this book is how it is written, the penyampaian of these philosophies - it is boring, well not as boring as reading a textbook, but boring enough. In this book, the philosopher is having a conversation with a youth, explaining the philosophical theories by Alfred Adler. No stories, just a really long conversation so it felt like ideas were being preached to me instead of reading a story. Why pretend like it is a story when the writers didn't want to explore the story properly? 

Why take this road?

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Opinion: I rather have not the teacher-student dynamic in a story because I don't feel comfortable with the idea of one person who feels like they are all-knowing and another is lost and seems 'empty'. 

I feel like choosing the teacher-student dynamic in fiction is a bit lazy. Just to tell/explain your ideas/thoughts as a writer, you write about an all-knowing character and then this character feeds all the ideas to this other character who seems like needed your input. Instead of exploring the other ways to present these ideas. Every human with 'akal' is capable of constructing their own wisdom if they really make use of it well, so why would you deny that part. Why feed everything in one go, what's the thrill in that? Where is the human complexity in the characters? 

I love it when ideas are being presented most subtly or in stories within stories. I love when I have to do my own digging just to understand the idea, or when I have to think and discuss to know the possibilities of the ideas. 

Any fiction, so this also goes into movies - not just books. 

So for me, a story that explains everything *especially by its character is just not challenging enough. I'll get bored and even sometimes even offended when the character explains just everything. 

But, that's just on my part. That is why I think this book is boring because it is just a conversation between the philosopher and the youth. But this might be my unpopular opinion, 3 million other people who bought this book might not agree with me :F

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On a second note, maybe the reason why I'm taking too long is because I need to think as these new ideas being presented in every chapter (especially when I haven't decided to agree or disagree with an idea). Here's a sample: 

Separation of Tasks-

1. Everyone has their own tasks, so your task is to fulfill yours
2. Do not intrude on other people's tasks

In this chapter, the philosopher said that in general, all interpersonal relationship troubles are caused by intruding on other people's tasks or having one's own tasks intruded on. The philosopher gave an example of a child and a parent, where a child, has the responsibility to do his/her own homework, and as a parent, his/her responsibility is to provide all the assistance one possibly can and to remind the child of the task. That's it.

Not to force, beg, manipulate, or negotiate with the child, even though as a parent, we know better. Forcing the child and ignoring the child's intention will only lead to an intense reaction like anger or frustration. This goes on towards adulthood, for example when we want to choose our own path in the future, or regarding family responsibilities, or anything lah. Especially with family, we feel like we have the right to give our unsolicited advice kan.

Adler said that it is better if you just focus on your tasks. Let everyone else focus on theirs - and don't intervene. You know what you need to do, and that is what's important. Macamana orang lain nak deal with their own tasks will be entirely up to them (their way, their pace, their decision) - even if you feel like you know better. Keep your right distance - macam kaonashi in Spirited Away, ada when needed kat sebelah.

So, I've been thinking about whether this idea works in every situation or not, and whether it is valid. In a way, it's true lah, every family disagreement comes when one crosses their boundaries and starts to mess with other people's things. Wait, what if, this one person doesn't fulfill their responsibility and it affects the others? Arguments are bound to happen, kan. And to what extent? How about in a relationship, there are 2 people, and each with their own tasks - when to interfere?

Ok, I haven't decided, yet.

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Last night, I dreamed about going to the library and it then rained hard.

Super-nerd dream. 

Note: Selamat Berpuasa !

Little Stories 277 : A Bit Tense, Lately

A Bit Too Tense :

I've been having minor migraine for 5 days. I could even feel the pressure on my jaw. Yesterday I had to try the migraine massage in Putrajaya, just to try something. I know I'm stressed out and overbooked, but I have no option but to go through this until the end of March. This morning I woke up anxious, I couldn't eat and felt nauseous. I tried the acupressure mat and my heart rhythm slowed down a bit. 

I tried the massage, I tried the acupressure mat, I tried drinking warm water (supposedly to hydrate), and I tried breathing practices. But I still can't manage my stress and anxiety. That was why I rejected the job in Nov in the first place because I can't deal with a time-constraint work environment - this first happened while I worked with MM then again with JA. Every time I get too stressed with work, my stress and anxiety will go spiralling. 

So right now, I'm trying to write to clear up my head a bit. 

This evening, I will try running. 

I will try every healthy way to manage it until I can learn to regulate my own emotions because I can't let this cripple my career kan. There must be ways to have fun while over-working kot kan. Kah kah kah. 

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One Day:

 

I knew I wrote it sometime back, ten years ago to be exact. 

It's One Day - on Netflix. I loved it when I first read the book, and I kinda loved it when I watched the movie adaptation. This time, it is a 14-short episode on Netflix. I thought it would be fun to watch it while working, so I did. Just finished it.

Did not make me cry this time - thought it would give me a good cry but it didn't. Maybe the reason was because : 1) I watched it while designing UI and 2) Both characters were not lovable - Emma in the movie was quirky, but in the series, she seems a bit snobbish. Dexter in both the movie and the series were annoying, so I'm not attached to either of them. 

It's about friendship and love. Yes, same as what I wrote before, if it is meant to be, there's no point in running. Maktub. But for them to be together, both of them need to fall, grow, learn, and heal in their own ways. 

People who never read/watched the movie might be surprised by the ending. 

So, perhaps, get ready for a tissue?

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Random things on books (from draft post):

 

On Buying Preloved Books:

I bought 2 preloved books on Carousell:

• 10 minutes 38 seconds in This Strange World by Elif Shafak
• The Days of Abandonment by Elena Ferrante

I was really hoping that I wouldn't have to buy any books that I might not like - I prefer borrowing, but the options are so limited. So I had to swim through the list of books that people want to sell as preloved and I had to buy them. But I think I can resell them back later if I don't like them. 

Reading in January:

After such a successful reading year in 2023, I decided to have a slow reading year in 2024. Since Jan, I only read 2 books:  Rosshalde by Hermann Hesse + The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. 

“But who can remember pain, once it’s over? All that remains of it is a shadow, not in the mind even, in the flesh. Pain marks you, but too deep to see. Out of sight, out of mind.”

I'm currently reading Anxious People by Fredrick Backman, it is such a boring book =.= So I stopped. Then I didn't have any time to read anymore. 

On Reading More HH's :

I read another one of HH's underwhelming book written in 1914 - didn't like it and it took forever to finish it up even though it was not that long.

Herman Hesse's Books : 

•  1904 - Peter Camenzind 
•  1906 - Beneath the Wheel ✓ 
•  1910 - Gertrude 
•  1914 - Rosshalde ✓
•  1915 - Knulp ✓ 
•  1919 - Demian ✓ 
•  1922 - Siddhartha ✓ 
•  1927 - Steppenwolf ✓ 
•  1930 - Narcissus and Goldmund ✓ 
• 1932 - Journey to the East ✓ 
•  1943 - The Glass Bead Game

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Note: I have been drafting unfinished posts since Jan, so I decided to post them all here - unpolished. So later if I read back, I can 'feel' the phases that I went through and see how it got reflected in my writings. 

=.=

Dah la, tonight I wanna go cry in my sleep (tapi tak sempat sbb tertidur terus). Zz.

Books : A Conversation on Self-Help Book and More Talk on Books

 

Book Conversation:

I was exploring Kino last week to go through books that I might want. I stayed over 2 hours in there alone. While I was in the Self-Help/Motivational section, there was a group of young ladies searching for books near me, and I tried making myself small so that they could walk past me. They were loud and excited, so it was impossible not to listen to their conversation.

I remember this part when one of the women pointed to Mark Manson's books: Everything is F*cked - a Book About Hope and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, then she asked her friend whether they are any good. Her friend answered "NO. These books are for people who don't read but want to look like they read.", she answered in the most self-righteous way that I can't help but get offended just by listening to her.

Here's my opinion on self-help books. 

It is really hard to define a self-help book because usually, you can relate to a book when the time is right for you. You can read something and find it annoying, and several years in the future you read it again then you feel like all the words were written for you for that moment and it becomes your new fav. So for me, I don't really have any definite opinion on self-help books because they exist to help us in their own way at the right time.

In 2020-2021, I had anxiety, and I remember that it was really hard for me to stick to a book or even finish one. Anxiety was new for me during that time and I didn't know how to manage it. I think I only managed to consume around 50 books each year because focusing was a struggle when you have anxiety. Those were the COVID lockdown & big Gaza attacks year.

Then I tried Mark Manson's book:  Everything is F*cked - a Book About Hope. Somehow behind all those vulgar advice and reminders, I managed to find some kind of peace. I learned to understand how to manage my emotions when dealing with big stuff beyond our control. I listened to his audiobooks so it felt like a friend acknowledging my worries and reminding me about how the world works. It was simple, direct, and precise. Everything I needed at that time.

So for me, you can't simply say 'These kinds of books are books written for people who don't read but wanted to look like they read" just because it didn't resonate with you or your values or your preferences. As someone who loves books and wants people to read more, I would say that it is an easy-to-read book for people who want something like assurance in a f*cked-up world and wouldn't mind feeling offended by his views, style of writing, and his thoughts. 

It isn't for everybody and I'm NOT recommending it on any level. Please don't read it just because I wrote about it. 

PS - There's a documentary on Netflix - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, if you want to watch it, by the writer himself. 

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Books I Consumed in October + November :

• Vladimir by Julia May Jonas
• Secret Pandemic by Simone Heng
• Bittersweet by Susan Cain
• The 40 Rules of Love by Elif Shafak
• When We Were Bright & Beautiful by Jillian Medoff
• Unbecoming by Joanne Fedler
• Your Story by Joanne Fedler
• Failosophy by Elizabeth Day
• A Quitter's Paradise by Elysia Chang

• Vladimir and When We Were Bright and Beautiful have the almost same theme but different tones and storylines. Not that great for me, but just okay lah, 3 stars books. 
• Secret Pandemic - About loneliness & isolation, what it does to your brain, how to establish a connection, and how to understand it, the writer wrote in a semi-memoir kind of writing so a lot of personal anecdotes (which I appreciate)
• Bittersweet - I loved it, I wrote a post about it here. 
• The 40 Rules of Love is one of my time fav, I read this one before and decided to listen to the audiobook this time. This book is a bit personal for me.
• Unbecoming - Conversation between women on topics about children, menopause, life after children, female struggles, mid-life crisis, marriage, etc. An eye-opener, I'm preparing myself.
• Your Story: How to Write It So Others Will Want to Read It - After Unbecoming, I listened to another one of her books on writing. The writer is a writing teacher, she shared a lot of insightful knowledge on writing and story-telling. I will listen to it again and take notes.  
• Failosophy : A Handbook for When Things Go Wrong - Basically the whole premise is IT IS OKAY TO FAIL. Here are 7 key principles of failure: 
1. Failure just is 
2. You are not your worst thoughts. 
3. Almost everyone feels they’ve failed in their 20s. 
4. Break-ups are not a tragedy 
5. Failure in data acquisition 
6. There is no such thing as a future you 
7. Being open about your vulnerabilities is the ultimate act of strength
• A Quitter's Paradise - A Chinese American woman grieving over her mother's death and starting on a journey to self-discovery in learning about who she is as a person, it goes back and forth between the present time and the past time (her family's life since before the immigration)

Other than Bittersweet and 40 Rules of Love, all the other books are available on Everand (which used to be called Scribd). If you want to try Everand, here's a 2 months trial for you. 

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I feel like I haven't had that much time with books lately, the week I commute to work, I didn't read or listen to any audiobooks, because I was mentally and physically tired (I was just too busy). Then after that week, I started to catch up, that's why the list grew. I think I only finished 3 books in October then suddenly all the other books were consumed in the last 7 days. 

Books : Bookshops in Amcorp Mall

On the day that we went to Stickerrific, Af also decided to bring me to Amcorp Mall afterwards (maybe because he has been stalking my blog and he knows I'm searching for second-hand books in the city or maybe it is just random nice thoughts of bringing me to places with books). 

We went there on a Sunday, we didn't know how packed it was at Amcorp Mall on a Sunday. They have this weekly event where people sell their thrift/preloved/antiques/hobby items there. So many antiques, so many used books, CDs, cassettes, books, collectibles, toys, clothes, everything people collect I guess. The event took up 4 levels, a heaven for collectors. 

But I just aimed for books, as expected:

Book shops in Amcorp Mall:

• Books for a Better World, BFBW (G Floor & 2nd Floor) 
  
• Dany Che' Comic (1st Floor) - Huge collection of Western comics
• Bookxcess (level 3) - They have a huge collection of great children's books here.
• And random old booksellers at these weekend booths

I didn't buy any books. It is so hard to find physical books that I really want to keep nowadays :F 

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Random book update:

During the short Scribd opening, I managed to finish up these books:

• Evil Eye by Etaf Rum - audiobook
• Reproduction by Louisa Hall - audiobook
• Babel by RF Kuang - audiobook
• Look at the Light, My Love by Annie Ernaux - audiobook
• Getting Lost by Annie Ernaux - audiobook
• A Migrating Bird by Elif Shafak - short story ebook
• Conversation with Friends by Sally Rooney - physical book
• How to Stay Sane in an Age of Division by Elif Shafak - short story ebook
• Washes, Pray by Noor Naga - physical book
• Novelist as Vocation by Haruki Murakami - audiobook

I was ready to cancel my account, but when I tried to cancel it, I was offered another 30 days of free subscription so I'm staying on another month. Thank you, Scribd for giving me access to free books when I'm broke. Here is a sign that you should try Scribd too, click here (you'll get 2 months free trial). 

Books: Same Topic As Always (but August update)

The window to Scribd's major library opens again (probably for 2 weeks, like usual). So I'm starting up the Scribd marathon again. The last time I listened to any good books was around 2 weeks ago (apparently, it is even less than that, around 10 days). But then I also managed to score 2 audiobooks from Kindle audible trials so that's what I've been listening to when I walk to pick up Sofi in early Aug (when I was deprived of good audiobooks, boo). 

On Kindle: I'm slowly listening to Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules for Life - and it is not an easy book. So I hardly listen to it. 

Physical Book: I finished Sally Rooney's Conversation with Friends yesterday! I've been reading it for the past 2 weeks. This book reminded me of my past. Not the affair, or the sexual activities that keep on popping up in all of Sally Rooney's fiction - just the emotions in general. Af bought the book for me from Carousell *not knowing how soft-porny Sally Rooney books can be. It is like reading a depressive romance if you know what I mean. If you want to feel frustrated with relationships, go ahead and read Sally Rooney. 

During the short opening, I finished :

• Getting Lost by Annie Ernaux - audiobook
• A Migrating Bird by Elif Shafak - short story ebook
• Conversation with Friends by Sally Rooney - physical book
• How to Stay Sane in an Age of Division by Elif Shafak - short story ebook
• Washes, Pray by Noor Naga - physical book
• Novelist as Vocation by Haruki Murakami - audiobook

This week is one of the rare weeks that I managed to finish a lot of books because I actually dedicated the time to sit and finish up these long-kept books.

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This part was written early this week when the Scribd listing was just made available again:

It's audiobook week, baby!

Okay, we only have 2 weeks window, so I need a good enough strategy. I'm planning on listening to fiction that I want to read, basically, I want female writers of, different ethnicity, and different countries lived/living in, with different backgrounds. 

• Babel by RF Kuang - the hardcover costs around RM 100 at this moment, which is a bit too much. It is difficult to bring to places because it is big and thick, and you might only want to read it once. So it is only pretty for a collection on your shelves. This book will take 21 hours to finish at average speed, half that if you put on double speed. RF Kuang was born in China and lived in the US since she was young (an Asian-American), I listened to Yellowface last month.  (done)
• Temper by Phoebe Walker. A fiction about being an anxious woman in her own bubble seems like a relatable topic, would give this one a chance. She is originally from Northumberland and she lived in London and the Netherlands. 
• The Polyglot Lovers by Lina Wolff. The writer was born in Sweden and lived in Spain & Italy, which might be a good mix.
• 28 Questions by Indyana Schneider is an Australian writer + soprano. She grew up in Sydney and later moved to the UK. 
• Getting Lost by Annie Ernaux. I hope you know her, she is the French writer that won the Nobel Prize in Literature last year. I listened to several of her books throughout the year, and I want to read this one next. (done)
• Reproduction by Louisa Hall, an American writer. A book on pregnancy, pain, women's anxiety, and Frankenstein. (done)
• A Migrating Bird is a short story by Elif Shafak (not an audiobook, but a 24-page short story - that can finish in one sitting). An award-winning Turkish-British writer - I love her works. (done)
• Novelist as Vocation by Haruki Murakami - Originally published in 2015, but translated into English and published last year. You can only get the hardcover in bookstores and I'm still waiting for the paperback. So I'm going to listen to this for sure because it has been a while. (done)

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Among all books:

• My favorite book this year is probably Simple Passion by Annie Ernaux because of her honest heart-breaking documentation, despite being a scandalous topic - I wrote about it here. But I love her other book that I listened to last year more; I Remain in Darkness (this one makes me cry). 
• There are also some new writers that I found, which I enjoyed reading; Noor Naga's If An Egyptian Cannot Speak English and YiYun Li's works. 
• I also love love love my research on Hermann Hesse's books this year, I read 5 of his books this year and I'm hoping to continue more before the year ends - I have 2 more of his books waiting on my Kindle. 
• Lily and the Octopus by Steven Rowley is not among my favorites, but it did make me cry because it hit the right sadness spot. 
• Books I didn't like this year: The Professor by Faisal Tehrani (a bit too obnoxious), The Secret History by Donna Tartt (I was not invested until the end and I wasted my time), and Adultery by Paulo Coelho (too preachy, I don't think he should write in woman's pov - he should have just written from his pov as a man). 

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It's good that whenever I feel like I don't want to write anything, I can still write about books. Is this my distraction? Is this what's keeping me from being stuck in my feelings? Sheesh. I think I need a run. 

Random : Books Lately, Converting to Threads, and Random Updates

What's old, what's new:

• The day Elon decided to change Twttr's logo to 'X', I deactivated my Twttr account and opened a Threads account. I don't think he cares about his users, so it doesn't matter. I just don't want him to win. He is the epitome of toxic masculinity.
• I got an invite to Moss Fest by Mossery last weekend. I'm both honored and excited, but I'm planning to write about the whole event later.
• I printed new colouring zines and reprinted Quaranzine because I sold out all copies (and I need to restock to Stickerrific).
• I've been doing design work again (with my supposedly new 'boss'), but I've been having impostor syndrome and I believe I can't design anything. It is so tough, having to push my mind into thinking that this is all just a phase, that I need to confront my own depressive mode affecting my creativity. Fin fin fin. 
• Broom's Cafe matcha latte with its substitute milk was divine (forgot whether it was oat/almond/soy), but it was so beautiful I could cry. 
• I saw ImpactMints' new box design and I had to buy it, I tried to find the peach flavor but only could find a blackcurrant one in pastel purple. For the longest time, the only version I could find was the ones with the collaboration with Kakao - didn't like that version. You know, even after more than 10 years, the smell sticks.
• I've been listening to 'one-book-per-day' lately. I don't know how I managed to do that though, perhaps because I've been spending a lot of time alone lately:
• Friday: Days at Morasaki Bookshop by Satoshi Yagisawa
• Monday: Yellowface by RF Kuang
• Tuesday: Women Talking by Miriam Toews
• Wednesday: Pure by Kim Alexander
• Thursday: Bedtime Story by Chloe Hopper

I have limited books to choose from based on what's available on Scribd, so I am not that picky - as long as it is an engaging story, I'll take it. Not going to complain about the free book options ok. So, it has been an interesting ride so far because I didn't know much about these books when I chose them. Usually, I'll just wear my earphone throughout the day and play the audiobook (while sending/picking up Sofi from school, while cooking, while doing chores and work, or drawing). 

I'm really excited about books lately because I've been writing a lot (but I don't want to jinx it). But haven't I been excited about books for as long as anyone can remember? 

• Days at Morasaki Bookshop was a feel-good book, relaxing, if you want to destress.
• Yellowface was an interesting book, I'm new to issues like Asian white-washing, racism, cultural appropriation, the book publishing industry, and social media bullying. So it was an interesting and engaging story for me.
• Women Talking was an eye-opening and thought-provoking book, it is painful to imagine that this was based on a real event. This book adds up my distrust for the entirety of men. I have so many emotions mixed inside while listening to this. Also, how grateful I am for having the freedom to have education and access to knowledge. 
• Pure was pure entertainment, like watching chick-lit on Netflix. Falling in love with a unicorn in a mortal body? This felt like my early 20s kinda book and slightly felt like a soft-porn? It felt silly at times, but I'm too serious most of the time, let's chill a bit.
• Bedtime Story is a beautifully written book, a memoir, and perhaps, we can call it a manual on how to tell children 'the hard truth', about sickness, cancer, and dying. As a mother myself, this book is a reminder to think ahead about these issues and how to confront these big questions. I would come back to this book if I needed it someday :F

Note: Please let me read many good books, Amin~