For the past five weeks, I’ve been cleaning up the apartment for the upcoming move. I’ve disassembled a lot of furniture, sold and given away a lot of things through Carousell; more than 25 items by today, organized and scheduled countless pickups, moved and lifted a lot of boxes, filled out a lot of forms, and booked a lot of dates. I usually do the organizing and schedule the pickups at night after work or during the weekend.
I cried four times, had brunch with a friend once, went back to Nilai once, visited the Light Fest at MAHA during the school holidays, and prepared a lot of slides for the ADLP programme happening this week. I don’t really read anymore. I listen to audiobooks; the easy ones, mostly, just to keep myself entertained when I have the mental space for it. I do a lot of planning in my head. There are lists everywhere; in my Notes, in my planner, in my iCal and there are always decisions that I have to make.
The big thing is the moving. The messy thing is the downsizing.
I had to let go of a LOT of stuff because I’m moving into a smaller space. I had to be completely brutal with myself and strip everything down to the core things I actually need. So a lot of old furniture was sold, and a lot of things were donated or given away. I didn’t even give myself time to grieve the things I was letting go of; things I had accumulated over the years with my own hard-earned money.
The wooden table I bought in 2013, when I rented my first space.
The work table and ergonomic chair I bought in 2021, when I kept having body aches from working.
The cheap mattress I bought just to replace the really old one I’d had for the longest time. The cheap mattress was so springy that every time Sofi moved, I would wake up annoyed.
The two side tables I repainted. They were also from way back in 2013.
The wooden racks, the kitchen cabinet, the drawers, the racks, the toys.
I remember the stories behind these things because they came into my life slowly, over the years. And now they’re gone. I’m grieving for my old life.
The move feels bigger than I intended.
Note: I've been taking note of all the things that happened since 1st of Aug, because that's the only thing that I can write. I will post it as a 60-days moving journal, for my note-keeping. Other than that, I'll probably save my mental space until the moving and renovating is over.
I know you'll miss me, xoxo gossip girl.
