Books : A Conversation on Self-Help Book and More Talk on Books

 

Book Conversation:

I was exploring Kino last week to go through books that I might want. I stayed over 2 hours in there alone. While I was in the Self-Help/Motivational section, there was a group of young ladies searching for books near me, and I tried making myself small so that they could walk past me. They were loud and excited, so it was impossible not to listen to their conversation.

I remember this part when one of the women pointed to Mark Manson's books: Everything is F*cked - a Book About Hope and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, then she asked her friend whether they are any good. Her friend answered "NO. These books are for people who don't read but want to look like they read.", she answered in the most self-righteous way that I can't help but get offended just by listening to her.

Here's my opinion on self-help books. 

It is really hard to define a self-help book because usually, you can relate to a book when the time is right for you. You can read something and find it annoying, and several years in the future you read it again then you feel like all the words were written for you for that moment and it becomes your new fav. So for me, I don't really have any definite opinion on self-help books because they exist to help us in their own way at the right time.

In 2020-2021, I had anxiety, and I remember that it was really hard for me to stick to a book or even finish one. Anxiety was new for me during that time and I didn't know how to manage it. I think I only managed to consume around 50 books each year because focusing was a struggle when you have anxiety. Those were the COVID lockdown & big Gaza attacks year.

Then I tried Mark Manson's book:  Everything is F*cked - a Book About Hope. Somehow behind all those vulgar advice and reminders, I managed to find some kind of peace. I learned to understand how to manage my emotions when dealing with big stuff beyond our control. I listened to his audiobooks so it felt like a friend acknowledging my worries and reminding me about how the world works. It was simple, direct, and precise. Everything I needed at that time.

So for me, you can't simply say 'These kinds of books are books written for people who don't read but wanted to look like they read" just because it didn't resonate with you or your values or your preferences. As someone who loves books and wants people to read more, I would say that it is an easy-to-read book for people who want something like assurance in a f*cked-up world and wouldn't mind feeling offended by his views, style of writing, and his thoughts. 

It isn't for everybody and I'm NOT recommending it on any level. Please don't read it just because I wrote about it. 

PS - There's a documentary on Netflix - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, if you want to watch it, by the writer himself. 

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Books I Consumed in October + November :

• Vladimir by Julia May Jonas
• Secret Pandemic by Simone Heng
• Bittersweet by Susan Cain
• The 40 Rules of Love by Elif Shafak
• When We Were Bright & Beautiful by Jillian Medoff
• Unbecoming by Joanne Fedler
• Your Story by Joanne Fedler
• Failosophy by Elizabeth Day
• A Quitter's Paradise by Elysia Chang

• Vladimir and When We Were Bright and Beautiful have the almost same theme but different tones and storylines. Not that great for me, but just okay lah, 3 stars books. 
• Secret Pandemic - About loneliness & isolation, what it does to your brain, how to establish a connection, and how to understand it, the writer wrote in a semi-memoir kind of writing so a lot of personal anecdotes (which I appreciate)
• Bittersweet - I loved it, I wrote a post about it here. 
• The 40 Rules of Love is one of my time fav, I read this one before and decided to listen to the audiobook this time. This book is a bit personal for me.
• Unbecoming - Conversation between women on topics about children, menopause, life after children, female struggles, mid-life crisis, marriage, etc. An eye-opener, I'm preparing myself.
• Your Story: How to Write It So Others Will Want to Read It - After Unbecoming, I listened to another one of her books on writing. The writer is a writing teacher, she shared a lot of insightful knowledge on writing and story-telling. I will listen to it again and take notes.  
• Failosophy : A Handbook for When Things Go Wrong - Basically the whole premise is IT IS OKAY TO FAIL. Here are 7 key principles of failure: 
1. Failure just is 
2. You are not your worst thoughts. 
3. Almost everyone feels they’ve failed in their 20s. 
4. Break-ups are not a tragedy 
5. Failure in data acquisition 
6. There is no such thing as a future you 
7. Being open about your vulnerabilities is the ultimate act of strength
• A Quitter's Paradise - A Chinese American woman grieving over her mother's death and starting on a journey to self-discovery in learning about who she is as a person, it goes back and forth between the present time and the past time (her family's life since before the immigration)

Other than Bittersweet and 40 Rules of Love, all the other books are available on Everand (which used to be called Scribd). If you want to try Everand, here's a 2 months trial for you. 

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I feel like I haven't had that much time with books lately, the week I commute to work, I didn't read or listen to any audiobooks, because I was mentally and physically tired (I was just too busy). Then after that week, I started to catch up, that's why the list grew. I think I only finished 3 books in October then suddenly all the other books were consumed in the last 7 days.