I have this one friend (at this point, this is my one and only friend). We meet regularly, we exchange plans, books, thoughts and ideas. MC is the only person that knows my personal life updates, or family dramas, or possible travel plans. MC is my best friend, we show up unapologetically after our latest adventure or after weeks of hustling life, like no time has passed. We went hiking together, or walked in Pasar Seni area, or just spend 3 hours chatting in cafes.
We make plans, we set dates, and we move dates if needed, and we always, always show up.
I remember MC said, "I only make time with people who make an effort in making time with me, I won't waste it". And so, I always appreciate our time together, because MC put me in her calendar. She makes space for me in her life. She doesn't have to, but she does.
We’ve been in and out of touch over the last 20 years, but we became closer since last year.
Like I said, she didn't have to, but she did.
I've reached to many people, and she is one of the person that stuck. And I appreciate it so much. I always feel refreshed when I see her, because it feels genuine. Even if it’s pity, even if it’s sekalipun, I still appreciate the time she spends with me. Because I needed the connection, and I was really trying. She gave me that, she gave me a chance to connect. She showed kindness when I needed it.
She doesn't know how much her presence means in my life.
It changed me.
-
She told me her cancer is back. Advance stage.
And I'm selfish. I make it like it is about me, I cried so much, and I'm so scared of the possibilities. I'm angry and disappointed. Every time I think about it, I cry. This isn't about me, kan. But I just can't stop. I cry every single day since I found out. I didn't even know I process information through tears rupanya. My eyes are now two sad marshmellow, next level puffiness. I have headache all the time.
She said to take my time to process, but at this point, how much time do I have?
MC, how much time do we have?
Post Comment
Post a Comment