Little Stories 66 : University Studios

While riding a bus to work in the morning, an Indonesian conductor bus came to me for a ticket. I took time counting the money to give to him and at the same time he waited. He saw my black tote bag next to me with "Universal Studios, Singapore" printed on the bag. 

He slowly read, 

"U-ni-ver-si-ty Stu-dios", and whistled, *impressed.

"You studied there?", he asked.

I managed to answer a confused, "hm?" and he pointed to the bag.

"No, no, I didn't".

"Oh, I thought you studied there to become an actress".

And I smiled and he left.

I should have said that "Yes, I studied at University Studios, and want to become an actress". 

That would be a story :D

Review : The Great Gatsby (2013)

Top 3 movie list this year :

1. Life of Pi

2. Darjeeling Limited

3. The Great Gatsby

I am glad that among over 30 movies I watched this year, I came across these 3 powerful movies; Life of Pi, in early this year, Darjeeling Limited in the middle of this year and The Great Gatsby by the end of 2013. 

I was speechless when I first finished watching The Great Gatsby and had taken time to watch it again to churn every bit of feelings I had. Among bad critics that I've heard about the movie, I can only say that it was no less than a great story. Maybe over-rating a movie is not a good idea for readers that have not seen the movie yet - but seeing that I am completely left speechless twice, phew, I just think I need to exaggerate a little bit more. 

I consider The Great Gatsby novel as literature because it was written in the 20s, and I avoid reading literature *after those early years of trying to self-learn literature, instead I waited for the movie. I do that to all literature - skip the reading part and just watch the m ovie.

*

On Movie Theme Song : 
The movie was directed by Baz Luhrmann, the same person who famously directed Romeo & Juliet and Moulin Rouge. He is also famous with his way of producing movies among great song list. What I was excited about before watching The Great Gatsby was its song choices. This time, he collaborated with Jay-Z in choosing songs for the classic literature movie which for my personal opinion, was an interesting mixture.
There were songs from Lana del Ray, Gotye, The XX,  Florence & the Machine, Beyonce & Andre. All those singers and bands were not from the mainstream list, so I was beyond excited to watch the result of that. And it went well, although there were many critiques on that issue, for me, mixing alternative modern songs with a classic literature is something new and fairly different, and Baz did so well. Curi2 dengar.

*

On Narration :

I love movies with narration, and it is possible that my thought on the movie was highlighted with the fact that Nick Carraway (Tobey M.) narrated the movie by reading the book that he was writing. Or for me, I imagined I was reading the book instead of listening to the narrator.
Paragraphs and excerpt by a classic writer is so much different than our modern language, so for me it was beautifully written T^T

*

On the Movie Effect :

The movie was beautiful and vibrant. But it used exaggerated effects for my liking, the green screen set-up was a bit obvious in several scenes, so it disturbed me a bit. But all in all, I always thought watching a movie should be like watching a movie, and so those exaggerated effects was acceptable for me. I recommend watching the HD version.

*

On Story Line and Message :

I hate to spoil any movies, so I'll try to be short.

In my opinion, the movie was a great movie, not because it was a love story with an awful ending, but because of how it was told and the message it brought. 

It seemed to me that Fitzgerald (the book's original writer) created the story based on how their society was in the 20s. Fitzgerald wanted to tell something 'big' to the readers; that resulted the valley of ashes between the city and West Egg. Because for me, the valley's existence was odd. Why creating a desolated land between those two places instead of just show how they separated the lower and upper class society in the same city instead? What's with the eyes of Doctor. T.J.Eckleburg ? Those eyes was disturbingly out of place. There must be something in the 20s that triggered him as a writer to write it in symbols. Ditto the mention of the green light across the river.

Other than that were the love story between those two main characters, love and hate, betrayal, first love, expectation, hope, dream, and everything. One gave too many while the other gave too little. Why love had to be so hard and so easy both at the same time? I was touched by Gatsby undying love and I was also surprised by Daisy's materialistic mind. 

*

I'm going to rewatch the movie and update this review later when I have the time.

T^T

Little Stories 65 : What is in a Name?

On the first day of my new work in Damansara, my supervisor asked me to create a fake Facebook account for us to communicate among our team members. I asked him, "I shouldn't use my real name?" and he said "Just create anything-lah. Make it fast."

I didn't know creating a fake account with a fake name and a fake picture profile would take time. I was left staring at the monitor for awhile and came out with a name, "Aliya A.". Since then, I've heard several people called me "Aliya" or "Liya" - in conversation, each time,  I looked twice to make sure that they were talking to me.

I feel like a stranger. 

Who is this Aliya ? 

But then again, what is in the name that take a hold of our life? A sign of recognition ? A glimpse of existence? Being in a name other than mine created a whole new surrounding of total invisibility. No one can Google my name and learn about my life on the net *except for the HR people I guess, they called me Azah and I cringed each time. It almost feels like liberation. This time, I don't want to be known by what I did, but I wanted people to notice me by what I designed instead.

Little Things 104 : Imbalance

At one point when you can't focus, because of whatever reasons, don't think. Take out your earphone, go to 8tracks , choose a track and listen. While doing so, continue with your works, or go out for a run, or do stretches. And only focus on the sound of the song instead of those jumbled up sounds of your unstable emotions. 

Create your own diversion. 

Distract your attention.

Sometimes you go up and sometimes you are not that high anymore.

Sometimes you are so happy and sometimes you are sad beyond words.

And maybe you don't understand why - that's alright, the point is to be aware of your emotions but not entirely controlled by it. Being off track is something acceptable once in awhile, after all we were made beautifully imperfect.

Books : On Rumi & Poetry

I personally love Rumi's work, I have two of his translated book : 

Rumi - the Book of Love translated by Coleman Barks & 

Selected Poems of Rumi, the Dover Thrift edition. 

*

In my personal opinion, I like the classic Dover's version that was translated by Professor R.A.Nicholson - he died in August 1945 and left the manuscript of the book, and later the book was compiled by A.J.Arberry. Knowing he died without publishing his manuscript of research make the book much more personal to me. Imagine working on a book for years, those time spent to read, learn and translate all those works of Rumi. + I love academician & wise people.

The language used in the book is a bit tedious, but beautiful nonetheless. To make a comparison, if you have tried to learn Shakespeare before - you'll find no problem understanding it. Basic thing about reading English literature is knowing when to change classic words into modern words. Thou = you, doth = do, art = are, canst = can, thine = yours etc. 

The book was printed in the US, by an earth-friendly publication company, using waste recycled paper, and it only cost $3.50 USD = around RM 10 *bought the last book in Kinokuniya KL. But here is the online link - not sure whether they do international shipping to Malaysia. I personally recommend this book if you are eager to read beautiful translation even if it's classic.

Since thou canst not bear the unveiled Light, drink the Word of Wisdom, for its light is veiled.

To the end that thou mayst become able to receive the Light, and behold without veils that is not hidden,

And traverse the sky like a star; nay, journey unconditioned, without a sky.

*

The Coleman Barks' version is the one that commercially sold in most bookstores, he used modern language, simple and almost direct. I don't understand the original language that Rumi used, I know for sure that I shouldn't make this comparison. But knowing that translating thing is an art itself - one need to learn, to read, to understand the content and translate it using his own word, *which is the hardest part.

Coleman also wrote it in Haiku version. Some might love haiku, but not me :

Birdsong, wind,
the water's face. 

Each flower, remembering the smell :
I know you're close by.

And in the preface of the book, Coleman wrote :

I have sold too many books. Rumi translations have no business cresting in a wave of over half a million. It's like selling picnic tickets to an unmarked minefield. You wouldn't expect there to be a rush, but somehow there is. I may have left out something big and basic, like lowercase Islam (submission). This love poetry is meant to obliterate you lovers. Rumi wants us to surrender. I bow to the grandeur of his full protration. I never want to diminish that. 

As a reader, I love reading something beautiful and personal. I don't want to read something like : I have sold too many books, on the first page of a book. It destroys the whole point of sharing something so beautiful and it sounded like something a writer shouldn't boast about.

But this is a simpler version of Rumi's translation, a bit too simple - in my liking. It worked with my sister, it didn't worked with me.  

*

I also learned that I am very much interested in poems that touches something on spirituality and wisdom. It's all based on each reader's main interest. Usually in written poems - there is a difference between normal poems and poems that were touched by enlightenment *and this is also my own personal comparison and category that I created myself, it is not a fact or something to be fully accepted. 

On rare occasion, some writers got to 'listen' to something much more divine and will produce beautiful works that can touch people's soul. That's only on rare occasion. Rumi is one example. 

It is something that modern Westerner, or even Japanese and Chinese atheist's poets can't achieve. But even so, most Japanese haikus and Chinese poems focuses on wisdom or what they call teaching, and that's fairly interesting as well. But that's the whole different ideas on sociology. I think if I start to write on that, I'll take another several hours. 

I'll make a list of books that touches my soul and provoked my inner-thoughts later. 

I love my quest on searching for such books :F

Little Stories 64 : Time Well Spent

"Kak, you just finished working?", an Indian girl asked me in the bus. 

The watch stated around 10 pm, and the bus was half empty.

"Yes, you too?".

She nodded.

These days, it is not a norm for our people to greet and make a conversation with strangers. It's either staring blankly at nothing, reading, sleeping or holding your smartphones pretending to make a decent connection with the device while commuting to places. 

It took me several minutes to notice that she did not come from the city, her friendliness is just different. She seemed to be sending a softer vibe than most people around me.

"The city, is different than in kampung. We can go farther, achieve higher, which is good - but we'll lose something important as well. We'll work like machine, we don't make connections with people, we don't communicate and most importantly, we'll lose our family time. I think I need to work and collect all the money, then when it's enough, I'll be with my family again", and I nodded at her.

*

I just couldn't agree more. 

I don't mind using my time to work, I love working. But what I am concerned about is how lonely I get, the whole day. It's all silence. I wake up as early as 5am, after writing or doing freelance work, I'll get ready to work, 7.30 am to 9.30 am is my time in all the public transports, and I start my work at 10am until 7pm, and I'll arrive home around 9pm to 10pm.  

All silence. 

I hate it when everyone is staring at their phones in the bus or train. What is more important than everything around you at that moment? Why we even let those little thing entertain you for hours? There's nothing much Facebook, Twitter or Instagram's posts worth refreshing every few minutes, or several plays of Candy Crushes to occupy your time. You are idly doing nothing, at all. 

Why don't you read books, or have a decent connection with the nature, start to find interesting things about it or really communicate, instead? Why can't we see, that we are losing it all to the technology. When will you get your time for you and for other people? When will you think using your inner thoughts and reach what's inside of you? If you use all your time for nothing. 

 

*

We are getting lost in the silence that we created ourselves. 

How can we all be in the same place at the same moment but totally out of reach ?   

Event : Art for Grabs Dec 2013

It took time, sweat, awkward hellos, and little glances for this.

For two days of meeting people and selling things that we made out of love and inspiration. It was less crowdy than the previous AFG in Sept. I was silently begging for people to come, at one point, there was almost just us - people who opened booths. Or maybe I was just exaggerating :D

A bit calmer. 

But thanks for all the love and supports nonetheless. And those gifts, and random photo taking. Most of all, thanks for buying it all. Those money will be used to pay my loan and support my living for this coming 2 weeks :D

Happy things :

1. I met my old friends from school. It was a good surprise - I've been missing from my friends for years now. I turned sweaty and nervous almost instantly, asked them "How did you guys know about this? I didn't publicly promoted it :F" - that was how I greeted old friends, well done.

2. When a good-looking caucasian man bought 2 of my A3 art prints of The Sleepyheads and illustrated Little Things. He said they were nice and he'll frame it.  

3. When supportive people came to meet me and said they read my blog posts - this feels so good, every single time. 

Movie : Juno (2007)

I watched Juno last night and instead on focusing on the main storyline, I keep on bugging my thoughts on different side issues.

1. It is not fair to ask a man to grow up, as much as it is not fair to ask a woman to wait for him to grow up. The level of maturity is something that is subjective, and it is different for each one of us. Two person that grew up together in the same environment might not even be on the same ground at the same time.

2. In any circumstances, being cynical is always considered as rude. In the movie, Juno is often cynical on everything, and cynical people are always insensitive to other people's feelings. I don't know how that is related, but I think it is possible that cynical people are afraid of being hurt, so they usually hurt people first, using words. It's almost like an automatic response. 

I am aware that I'm cynical, it's unhealthy and I am trying my best to control it. Plus, I hope that I am not as bad as Juno, I'd probably be the most annoying person in this family if that is how I am. 

3. Juno as a name. 

When I was 10, I learned about : Ceres, Pallas, Juno, Vesta. 

Fiction : Everyone that reads Sailormoon should know those added Sailors in the team. 

Fact : Ceres, Pallas, Juno and Vesta were considered as planets, lost time ago, before the astronomers learned that those were asteroids that orbit the Sun as well as other planets.
Fact/Fict 2 : In Greek mythology, Juno is the wife of Zeus. She was often considered as a very jealous and aggressive goddess, because in the myth, she tried to killed Zeus's children with other goddesses. So in the astrology, Juno takes a sign of someone in need of security in marriage/relationship and need to feel satisfied in their love life. - This probably explain why the main character's name is Juno, because it fits her quite well.

Added note : It was definitely not a comedy as stated above, and nothing hilariously funny about the movie. But it worth watching, of course.

Little Things 103 : For Things Unseen

I woke up quite early this morning, something that rarely happen these days. 

I went to the toilet to take wudu' and did my Subuh prayer. 

I felt restless lately, and there's a feeling of lost and misguidedness in my heart. Oddly enough, I always know where I should go to, but I did not do anything about it. 

Being aware of something but choose to let it be.

How often do we do that? Pretending there is nothing wrong and let our hearts wander in a confusing maze when we know deep down, that we need to find the root of the everything and make amends.

Why we need to talk in riddles?

Why every secret hides in secrets? 

Why it is so hard to reach you when you are the nearest among everything?

And of all the things unseen and those confusing riddles, He gave me something that I needed exactly at the right time, a direct message :

And when My bondsmen ask you concerning Me, "I am near indeed". I respond to the call of the caller when he calls Me. Therefore they should respond to Me and believe in Me, so that they may walk along the right way - Al-Baqarah ( 2 : 186 )

*

Event : Art for Grabs, Dec 2013

Come meet us at Art for Grabs this coming weekend ( 14th & 15th ) December,
my last booth for the year 2013.

Here is the official facebook page.

The event will be located at Annexe Gallery, Central Market, Kuala Lumpur.
There will be around 50 booths mixed with art & crafts, and many other booth with different interesting projects. This time around, Art for Grabs bringing a theme : " Righting Malaysia ".

*

PS :

I'll be selling stickers, totebags, art prints and postcards.

Those little zines are currently sold out! :D

This Week's Findings 02

1) Mnmlist : live more, need less , being OK with things as they are.
I know every people has opinion on how they want to live, but this works for me.

2) Paulo Coelho : Renouncing or working hard -

Either we feel that we are renouncing life too much because of God, or else we feel that we are renouncing God too much because of life. 

This apparent double law is a fantasy : God is in life, and life is in God.

*

3) You need to own a journal/scheduled diary

Moleskine is ridiculously expensive, so I wouldn't recommend you to buy one except if you are obsessed with brand or want to splurge on man-made leathery items. *because although I always claimed myself as a person who don't spend much on things, I do have an obsession on hand-made leathery items.

3) A Writer's Guide to Keeping Sane 

Read this fun fun writing for writers. Or better, follow Medium.

4) Online resource for student designers & young creatives looking for insider's insight, honest answer & solid solution to help you create your portfolio and apply works properly ! : The Secret Handshake. This is so interestingly resourceful.

5) CafeHop KL - interactive map for coffee addict around KL.

*

6) 8tracks radio - Online playlist curated by awesome people. You can choose your type of music or mood, and listen to the whole playlist. It's even faster than grooveshark.

*

7) Easy funny blog to read for pleasure - MatLutfi

8) Place to make an easy online infographic - Piktochart , their editor is very easy to use, just drag-and-drop, key-in data and such. It's a local start-up company based in Penang.

*

9) Police mugshots in the 1920s

Previous related post : This week's finding 01

Excerpt 01 : IQ84

You’re still young and healthy. Maybe that’s why you don’t understand what I am saying. Let me give you an example. Once you pass a certain age, life becomes nothing more than a process of continual loss. Things that are important to your life begin to slip out of your grasp, one after another, like a comb losing teeth. And the only things that come to take their place are worthless imitations. Your physical strength, your hopes, your dreams, your ideals, your convictions, all meaning, or, then again, the people you love: one by one, they fade away. Some announce their departure before they leave, while others just disappear all of a sudden without warning one day. And once you lose them you can never get them back. Your search for replacements never goes well. It’s all very painful—as painful as actually being cut with a knife. You will be turning thirty soon, Mr. Kawana, which means that, from now on, you will gradually enter that twilight portion of life—you will be getting older. You are probably beginning to grasp that painful sense that you are losing something, are you not? - Murakami , IQ84

Little Things 102 : Royals & Kina

By far, this is the best cover for Royals.
Yeay for Kina !

 

Little Things 101 : Freelancing

Best things about freelancing at home are :

boleh masak nasi goreng at lunch and eat while doing works, wear anything I want and guling2 when I feel tired. 

The worst thing about freelancing at home is :

people thought I am not working so they will give me so many tasks at home. Trying to work while completing tasks is quite hard. No one is taking my job seriously. It's either pulling up all-nighter or create a borderline between working-time and home-time. 

The most annoying line from people : "kan duk rumah takde kerja". 

If I stayed at home doing nothing in these 5 months, then where did all the money to pay : the house, insurances, loans, bills and monthly needs came from? Do you think I will ask from my parents?

*

Time management and discipline are two most important things that I focused on. If I don't complete my works, I won't have any money to survive. These 5 months, I've been working daily to keep paying my financial responsibilities without borrowing money. It's not easy, but I managed to learn a thing or two from that.  

But my 3 months reckless life is over, I worked part-time at Liquid Learning for a month afterwards and tried to find any available permanent job as well. In a month, I applied to almost 20 jobs from jobstreet, been to 3 interviews - 2 got rejected, got a continuous freelance job after an online interview from an IT company as well and finally offered a permanent job as a designer last Monday. That took about 1 month. 

Ma is so worried about me not having any permanent job, and started to ask me to find any eligible gentleman that will marry me and let me work at home so she doesn't has to worry much if someone is taking care of me. 

I had to do what I had to do.

I got a permanent job along with freelance job, and I am moving out to taste my freedom.

Read here to learn more about freelancer working at home, to educate yourself.
Thanks!

Little Stories 63 : Run Forest, Run

I signed up for my first 10km run last weekend.

Despite my unwillingness to run that far in one go, after my last 7 km run several months back. I said "no more", thinking I'll lose the main purpose of having fun in a big running event if I can't run along with everyone. But I fought back, I wanted to know the feeling of outrunning my own self-claimed limitation. 

I just wanted to know that it won't be as bad as I assumed it would be. 

And it wasn't that bad. 

1 : 20 : 30,

I was the 168th person from 828 runners. 

If only I could believe in myself for every decision I make and put all limitations behind, maybe I could go farther than where I am now. If I could put all the energy into believing in achieving what I wanted and needed in life, maybe I could touch those dreams and turn them into my reality. 

Because the only thing that stoping me, is actually me.

*

  

Little Things 100 : Let's Turn Back Time

If I could turn back time and be an IT student again, I would..

1. Create a Behance and Dribbble account and use it vigorously as guideline to success.

2. Read double amount of books every month.

3. Do proper case studies on start-up companies and their products.

4. Still not focus on the programming part of everything. 

5. Learn digital illustrating on the second year instead of the final year.

6. Watch double amount of movies from the intranet. 

7. Focus on web development and UI/UX. *UX/UX at the time was pretty much, new. After iPhone was born, every IT based products from devices to softwares put extra efforts in making things beautiful, simple but define its purpose. Suddenly every button every line got meanings and explanations , and I just love that.

*

Things I still don't understand important but seemingly important for the college :

1. Having a mentor. 

*I met her once in the first semester.

2. Clubs or societies. 

*I was never active and if I did, it was because of the requirement to graduate. Those group-things they tried to implement, nope, did not worked for me. If they wanted to see my commitment and how passionate I was in doing something, they should see me in my doodle business. 18 events, several interviews, and talks, what more can I show to prove to them? I hate clubs and societies. Or maybe they wanted to see me participate with other people :- that is still my major problem in life.

3. Exams on written programming. 

*I literally memorized the codings. Memorized and was pretty bad at it. I think I got C+ in my Advanced Programming. That was my lowest point in my graduate years.  

4. Kursus kahwin

*I took it too early now it is not even valid.

*

But then again, I don't want to turn back time if I could. The beautiful thing about now is I completed my years as a student and I can work for money or do anything I want to do. I proved to the society that I can take exam and memorize things that are needed to pass. I proved to my parents that I can learn and get 4 flat or even C+. 

For all students out there, please enjoy your years as a student because those are the years that you can have fun and learn a lot of things and be awarded with a scroll. Ha. Because the next thing you knew, you'll be paying off your loans and your middle name would be 'responsibilities'. 

Random : Another rambling report

1. The rashes from Urbanscapes are still visible and itchy. Urbanscapes mentioned in their Facebook about how the rashes came from the caterpillars in the field - although I didn't even sit on the grass or touch anything, as far as I can remember. But let's be patient, this is not the first time I've encountered any allergies, and I already ate some antihistamine and cut my nails so I wouldn't scratch my hands.

2. Three days to go from the Fan Run 2013 at Putrajaya. This month I've ran over 35km for my training sessions, getting ready for my first 10 km run+walk or 6th/last run for this year : 

4 times - 5 km, 

1 time - 7 km, 

1 time - 10 km.  

I usually list everything and count things as personal little achievements. One odd thing that I realized about myself is I do things that I don't want to do, just because. For example I don't want to run more than 7km after my first try-out several months back and suddenly I signed up for 10 km run. Or I said many times that I don't want to take the scariest ride *for me in Genting : Space Shot and suddenly I tried that 3 times - *that 3 times I regretted my own decisions. 

I don't understand the need to do things that I don't want to do, they clashes one another, but I keep on doing them.

3. I bought some lamb leathers imported from the US because I failed to find any local supplier. I've been playing around and experimenting with them these couple of days. It's a slow learning process but having a crafty hands are quite handy - watched tutorials and designs I love from the net and I'm trying to do my own version. This is very fun.

4. I'm having my fifth interviews next week.    

5. Shaun Tan blogged about the Oopsatoreum Exhibition in Sydney next December and I asked him whether there'd be any chance at all, in meet & greet session. He replied saying he won't make it to the exhibition and will post updates if he will ever be doing any appearances. 

I can actually cry over the excitement like a young high-school-girl receiving a reply from the person she admires at school. This is 'the' Shaun Tan that I have been mentioning since 2010 in this blog. 'The' same Shaun Tan that I've been saying "the only reason I'll go to Australia is probably because they got Shaun Tan - no other reason". This admiration is insane.

6. Confession : Every time I'm lacking ideas to write, I'll ramble on updates of my life - which is one of the narcissistic thing that a writer can write about. I just need to write or pretend to write and ignore those drafted files I've been composing. Yes. Very productive. Plus, I love to read about my past months just so I can compare it with the present moments. Hm. Still sounding narcissistic. 

7. It's almost 12 am and it's raining. 

It's either complete silence or annoying rambles. 

So I chose this.

Thanks for still reading !

Event : Post Urbanscapes 2013

Saturday afternoon, Urbanscapes 2013.

I prepared my stuffs the night before, and so on the event's day, I packed my things and had a lunch in Equine Park with my sister before heading to Maeps. I was excited, I remember last year I wanted to open a booth in Urbanscapes imagining all those exciting atmosphere of great music festival mixed with artsy people around me. So when my sister was offered with a sponsored booth, I said to her that "we must go, no matter what! This is 'the' Urbanscapes, it costs a month's salary to open a booth there!".

So we arrived and tried to register at the registration booth but our name wasn't there - this was a minor problem because maybe they had not updated their list, our name was under the sponsored team's, *we only took our tag at 630pm later.

It took us 1/2 hour to walk to the booth area while bringing our stuffs along, and more than 1 hour to find our booth, there was no mark or sign or our names in any of the booths. My sister had to call the person in charge more than 5 times just to get an idea of the location - at last she came and helped us, for that, I am very much thankful. We were drenched in sweat, hot beyond any words, and later I was having a major headache for the whole day.

We were not enjoying the booth experience. 

Many times "let's go home", uttered by both of us but we stayed.

*

There were many young people enjoying the event, happy carefree faces, hipstery latest fashion and socialites. I am not much of a trend setter or trend follower, and I'm pretty much enjoy watching the fever. The crowd was over-whelming, I never thought we have such a big group of passionate socialites in Malaysia until I went to Urbanscapes. 

"So this is the young people these days", I thought. 

Although I'm reaching the late 20's now and not actually 'that' old to be considered as young people, but well, you'll feel old if you stick around with me - I am really not a 'fun' person. So I'm comfortable seeing the younger generation as a different group of passionate people than myself. The energy is just 'wow', very loud indeed.

I also knew the concert experience was not much of my interest. 

Other than being a boring person, I also enjoy the quietness of nature with less human contact. So being in a huge crowd environment was a bit too much but interesting at the same time. I saw several performance but missed Tegan & Sara's that night because the performance was too late and I need to go to the toilet. Although Aja said that I can try the plastic booth's public toilet, I declined - remembering those Japanese pranks to people in public toilet *this was just a paranoid statement.

Market of Experiences

DIY kite

Free books available.

Awareness Campaign.

*

But other than that, I had fun exploring the Maeps's area. The view is breath-takingly beautiful. The event was located on the hill side, there were wooden fences over the grass hill, people were having a picnic while enjoying the good windy weather later that afternoon, explosion of huge clouds, and great sunset view. I wish I was not having a major headache so I could try to enjoy the nice hill side view.

*

All in all, I enjoyed the experience of being in the international music festival, here in Malaysia. Those little difficulties were normal for such a big event, and kudos to the organizer and also Toursim Selangor for sponsoring the event.

This year has been an interesting year, indeed.

PS : Bad rashes came from the event, the news is currently viral on twitter.

Event : Urbanscapes 2013

I know it's a short notice but, see you guys at Urbanscape this weekend ! Hope it won't rain too much for these 2 days this Saturday :F My sister got a spot in the event and suddenly we are both going to Urbanscape tomorrow - for free. I'm going to print the awesome schedule and wait for tomorrow's Tegan & Sara *or maybe not - I just found out the location from my booth to the stage is just too far and the concert start at 945pm :( plus my printer just ran out of ink. Ha.

Another note : I really love the design for this year's Urbanscape.
Here I compiled them, this is to appreciate the designer/s' work :

Awesome retailers :

SHOWROOM | IDOtshirt | Nusantara |  Menage Clothing | Hellbent Skateboarding | The Deciders x A& E | MARS & VENUS x Bagstra |  Project Swissify | 6Tea’s Clothing | W6  | The Oldees |  Kulkith Shoes | 2morrow Shoes | Huggaz | Dipped Row | Psychedelic Store | Milktee | Lah’ Lah’ Land | DUMPWERKS | Owlch! | COVETZ | anonymous store + medium rare | Arrogant Minnie | Wicked Wardrobe |  IAMJETFUEL Shop | DOVEYLOVEY |  Leihusky + Jainaroshim | Wearemustache |  Lovca | The Garment | Bugis Wardrobe | Nogen Cloth | BOK TJUV | Beautiful Machines KL |  ITALIC & BOLD | The General Store | The Bag Creature | YESAH | I Heart Badges | Mashkin |  3Edition | Wanderpillow |  27 Legacy Tie Dye | Fliplet | Moniko + Antonia Ghazlan | Currynoodle Poster | Buku Fixi |  Positive Emporium | Genovasi | Dwicharms |  Kapten Bluehbossa |

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Schedule :

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People look for things that are too far,
they forget things that are near.

And I realized that not only I seek for those uncertainties in the future, I also crave for it.

Why today is never enough ?

And if today is enough for you,
then why do you create your today, for tomorrow ?

Doodle : Book on Little Things *for sale*

Hello,

I managed to compile 20 pages of illustration consist of little things that I found on my outing days. This includes : dried leaves, pine corn, insects, flowers and other random things. Many of these things are available out there, ready for you to discover. I felt deeply inspired in these couple of months while I was hunting for little things, despite the hot weather, 'muka belang' and 'bau masem-masem peluh', so I illustrate it again in simpler stroke because keeping pictures in Instagram and illustrating it again in your record book very different indeed. And I compiled it into a small book of little things !

I want to show you what simple activity can do to your life.

The book is available now.

Page : 20 pages of illustration

Paper : Double A - 80 gsm

Size : A6 - 9.5 x 13 cm

Price : RM 15 *including normal postage* 

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Self compiled, printed and made into wire-bind book.

If you enjoy digital version on your computer or a tablet, here is a link to my behance, I put most of the illustrations here. The idea is still sharing these little things I found outside the house in simple strokes. 

If you want to buy the book, you are paying for the printing, binding, cutting, packaging and posting cost. Thanks for the support. I'm working on compiling other doodles as well. Stay doodling !

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Send me an email : azreen_31@hotmail or reply in the comment box below with your email and I'll contact you or PM me in my Facebook.

Little Things 99 : Weirdness and You

Let me tell you something, if you think you are weird, stop, there are high possibilities that you are not weird - but just a little different. In fact, everyone is different - no two persons have the exact same everything, kan?

When I was growing up *13-23 of human age , I told myself that I was weird because I wanted different things, crave for something that people don't look twice, have personal thoughts and arguments on undiscussable topics, and such. 

I wear my differences as a badge to show that I am not you, you or you. 

When I look back at my younger version self, I saw myself as someone confused. I was probably explaining to myself why I was different  than my friends and so, the 'weird' badge is the easiest thing to explain it all. 

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Some extra thoughts :

1. Loving books and spending most of your money on them and secretly buying them because you want to avoid any confrontation on "there-are-too-many-books-on-your-shelves-already" are not weird, that mean you are a bookaholics or bibliophile. There's nothing wrong with loving the art of words.

2. Listening to old musics and having a playlist of songs that were written when even your parents weren't born yet, do not make you are a weird person. That probably means you are an old soul, you love those soothingly beautiful music from the past. It told more stories than any new songs in our time. There's nothing wrong with loving old songs, and there's nothing wrong with memorizing the lyric ! *I have no idea why I can remember those lyrics.

3. Wanting to be alone than socializing is not weird. You are probably an introvert or you have a wrong group of people around you. It's completely normal to be alone or silently doodling in your room or reading in the park or eating by yourself in the cafeteria. These things, do not make you a 'weirdo'. You just have different ways than other people.

4. Feeling too much or being in indescribable pain or emptiness or loneliness most of the time, is not weird. You are probably a sensitive soul. We don't really discuss on this topic much, but for some people we are just born more sensitive. So much till you can see pain by looking at someone's eyes or feel sadness when you are near someone else that projecting those auras. You can just feel too much. You are special, so learn to control it and don't let it manipulate what's in you. Here is some useful reading for a sensitive soul. Most people are unaware of these, if you have children or siblings who are more sensitive than others, let them grow up well. They are just a bit different, guide them *we are even 20% of the population, wihu! Extra note to sensitive souls : you need to learn to control this yourself, or you'll eat your soul from the inside. Even my family is not aware of this, so I had to learn it myself and it was tough when I was much younger. 

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Don't feel troubled by these confusions. I know most of us stumble across blogs after blogs, picking up little reading like this. This might be something you need to know early. Because I took 10 years to grow comfortable in this. Remember that differences make you a unique person. You are not "weird" or "freak", you are just human. You don't have to give yourself a badge for being different and you don't have to explain everything that makes you, You. 

Be comfortable in your skin.

Little Things 98 : Paulo's Etsy

It is very very fascinating to find out that Paulo Coelho uses Etsy to sell his products in Oiticica & Coelho. A very humble and simple way to open an online shop. 

"I want to sell my things online".

*zappp* 

and we get an online shop ready in Etsy.

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Doodle : Moonrise Kingdom

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Illustration I made several months ago, now digitized :

Random : Last weekend

Last week I met two of my idols :

1) Faizal Tahir

Not many people know that I like him, it has never been discussed before because most people know how much Aja loves him - so I didn't want to make it like a great deal. But yes, there are some Malaysian singers that I like, and Faizal Tahir is included in the list. Meeting him last week at Microsoft's Surface launching in Starbucks The Garden was fun. He sang a song live, I took a picture with him and gave Aja all the glory to cry with happiness. Ha, I'm glad she finally met him - meeting Faizal was in her wish list.  

2) Lang Leav

For some people on Tumblr, you must have stumbled across one or two of her poems because they are widely shared among us Tumblrians. I love her beautiful poems on love, betrayal, pain, longing, falling in love again, and those sweet things most people like us love. So when she compiled it in a book back in April, I bought it online right away. It took two months to arrive, yeap, that's with Book Depository - cheap book, free delivery but 2 months to arrive. 

Well Lang Leav is currently on her book tour and she came to Kinokuniya, KLCC last weekend for a short book read and 'meet & greet' session. I was the third person in a long line - imagine my excitement to meet a writer/poet/word artist. She sweetly wrote "For Ezreen, " and signed the book. She asked me whether it was right and I said my name was actually spelled with an 'A' not 'E'. She felt guilty and offered other new book but I refused - *no, I'm not going to change my first printed version of Love & Misadventures !

Book : Reborn, Susan Sontag

I bought Susan Sontag's Early Diaries (1947-1963) - Reborn, compiled by his son, David. This is word of thoughts/quotations/questions/arguments/etc that were selected from her diaries in her early adolescence till mid thirties. I first read about her from brainpickings years ago and thought of her as someone interesting, especially her writings on a lot of things : life, God, love, marriage, etc. My curiosity was now answered after reading her diaries. 

What I learned :

The book showed me her side of story in her early life, I learned about her struggle and confusion, her random thoughts and how she faced her problems. I don't know why, but for me, reading other people's writings really help me understand people. So this is why I read a lot :F

That's the right one ! 

Anyhow, I extracted what I found interesting or like and shared it here for my own record and you may read it if you like these things too ! :

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13/04/1948
Ideas disturb the levelness of life.

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25/05/1949

A thought occurred to me today - so obvious, so always obvious! It was absurd to suddenly comprehend it for the first time - I felt giddy, a little hysterical : There is nothing, nothing stops me from doing anything except myself. What is to prevent me from just picking up and taking off? Just the self-enforced pressures of my environment, but which have always seemed so omnipotent that I never dared to contemplate a violation of them. But actually, what stops me? A fear of my family - mother, especially? A clinging to security and material possessions? Yes, it is both of those, but only those realities that keep me... What is college? I can learn nothing, for that which I want to know I can accumulate, and have done so, on my own, and the rest will be drudgery. College is safety, because it is the easy, secure thing to do. 

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4/11/1956

Concerning the death of Getrude Stein : she came out of a deep coma to ask her companion Alice Toklas, "Alice, Alice, what is the answer?". Her companion replied, "There is no answer." Getrude Stein continued, "Well then, what is the question?", and fell back dead. 

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12/1956

From the Journals of Soren Kierkegaard :

"There are many people who reach their conclusions about life like schoolboys: they cheat their master by copying the answer out of a book without having worked out the sum for themselves."

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24/12/1956

David, very obliging and tender as he prepares for bed, whereupon this dialogue. 

D : "What if God never made the world?".

SS : "Then we wouldn't be. That would be too bad, wouldn't it?"

D : "Wouldn't be? Not even Moses?"

SS : "How could anyone be, if there weren't a world to be in?"

D : "But if there wasn't a world, where would God be?"

SS : "God exists before the world. He isn't a person or thing"

D : "Then if God isn't a person, why did he has to rest?"

SS : "Well the Bible speaks of God as a person, because that's the only way we can imagine God. Because he is not really a person".

D : "What is he? A cloud?"

SS : "He's not a thing. He is the principle behind the whole world, the ground of being, everywhere".

D : "Everywhere? In this room?"

SS : "Well, why not? Sure".

He : "Is God good?"

SS : "Oh, yes"

D : "Is God goodest thing there is?"

SS : "That's just right. Goodnight".

Little Things 97 : Totebag

Confession number one :
I love canvas tote bag.

I can simply fold it and put it in my sling/handbag and bring it out to put stuffs when I buy things because I don't like plastic bags and usually when I buy stuffs, I'll say "No plastic, thanks" and stuffed those things in my bag with the receipt - so when I have a tote bag, I can just use it instead. 

Confession number two :

I have 3 of these bags.

1. The RM 5 empty canvas-like totebag I found in Daiso. I bought it because I just like the bag : all empty, like a sac so I can put my groceries when I buy them - way back in Uniten.

2. The canvas totebag from Astronautboys as a gift that I got when I went to Bandung and met him. Which was the luckiest thing that ever happen in Bandung other than a great family time. This is my favorite one - I still use it, and it's been more than 2 years.

3. My own totebag. I don't know about you, but I thought people who use their own products as  "macam-bagus-guna-barang-buatan-sendiri", until the time that I finally made something that I sell and use for myself. 

Confession number three :

I love my explore totebag, I actually designed it for myself.

Ha. This is the one thing that I created solely because I want to use it and at the same time decided to share it with people. It may not be as fashionable as any other branded bags out there but for me, it stands for its sole purpose of being simple-foldable totebag. And it is enough. 

Confession number four :

I still think you need to buy it, if you are a totebag user - that's why I made this post. To share the love of canvas totebag :D plus the 'explore' is to inspire you to go out and explore ! 

Read previous long post here.

Thanks !

Event : Art for Grab Dec 2013

Hello,

I had a lot of fun joining Art for Grabs in October and decided to join them again for this 14 & 15 Dec Art for Grabs ! Wihu ! Same place, same time, great environment, friendly crowds and hopefully more things to share ❤ 

Short vid from previous event :

Art for Grabs Event from Farikarim on Vimeo.

There are lot of new items, that's for sure :)

PS : Thanks to all the people in the video shots, you are super awesome for coming and supporting our local art. Please come again, friendly familiar faces.

PS2 : and thanks FariKarim for the video ! :D 

Little Stories 62 : Sell bag & work

A friend : What are you doing now ?
Me : Applying for work.
A friend : But it must good for you. You can sell bag.

I am not sure if that was a compliment or a sarcastic note.
But that statement gave a remark to this week's life.

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I ended my contract with Liquid Learning and I'm applying for jobs farther than hometown or even my playground. I've given myself some thoughts on life these days and I think there's nothing much stopping me from going to places anymore. Other than money, of course.

So I applied jobs in JB, Pahang and Penang, places that are not quite near, but reachable, yes. In hopes for chances to go farther than here, with God's willing. So for a month, I applied to almost 15 jobs on Jobstreet, some got rejected *maybe I applied even though I can't speak/read Mandarin, or I demanded higher salary than what they offered. Who would still pay RM 1500 for 1 month designing work when 2 weeks work of freelance illustrating pays the same amount, and even more?  Been called for an interview to somewhat creepy uncomfortable places and replied several emails on online interviews and test.

I know my mom is worried because I stayed at home again like a good girl does and like all modern parents, they want their children to be independent and financially stable - not staying at home, doodling and selling bag. Ha.

But ah well, I'm working on it.

PS : I've never even sleep/relax at home, I do works all the time.
I am so productive, and no one can't imagine that.
Why I need to be in an office to prove that I'm constantly working? Phew.

Note :
Anyhow, other than art prints and stickers on etsy,
I'm compiling doodle in printed books/zine/hand-made doodle books.
Hopefully it will be ready for December's event.

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There is a thirst of your presence in my silence, and I hold my tongue so you can't hear me utters your name, but in truth you answer to my every call, when my ears no longer listen and my eyes refuse to see.