Let me tell you something, if you think you are weird, stop, there are high possibilities that you are not weird - but just a little different. In fact, everyone is different - no two persons have the exact same everything, kan?
When I was growing up *13-23 of human age , I told myself that I was weird because I wanted different things, crave for something that people don't look twice, have personal thoughts and arguments on undiscussable topics, and such.
I wear my differences as a badge to show that I am not you, you or you.
When I look back at my younger version self, I saw myself as someone confused. I was probably explaining to myself why I was different than my friends and so, the 'weird' badge is the easiest thing to explain it all.
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Some extra thoughts :
1. Loving books and spending most of your money on them and secretly buying them because you want to avoid any confrontation on "there-are-too-many-books-on-your-shelves-already" are not weird, that mean you are a bookaholics or bibliophile. There's nothing wrong with loving the art of words.
2. Listening to old musics and having a playlist of songs that were written when even your parents weren't born yet, do not make you are a weird person. That probably means you are an old soul, you love those soothingly beautiful music from the past. It told more stories than any new songs in our time. There's nothing wrong with loving old songs, and there's nothing wrong with memorizing the lyric ! *I have no idea why I can remember those lyrics.
3. Wanting to be alone than socializing is not weird. You are probably an introvert or you have a wrong group of people around you. It's completely normal to be alone or silently doodling in your room or reading in the park or eating by yourself in the cafeteria. These things, do not make you a 'weirdo'. You just have different ways than other people.
4. Feeling too much or being in indescribable pain or emptiness or loneliness most of the time, is not weird. You are probably a sensitive soul. We don't really discuss on this topic much, but for some people we are just born more sensitive. So much till you can see pain by looking at someone's eyes or feel sadness when you are near someone else that projecting those auras. You can just feel too much. You are special, so learn to control it and don't let it manipulate what's in you. Here is some useful reading for a sensitive soul. Most people are unaware of these, if you have children or siblings who are more sensitive than others, let them grow up well. They are just a bit different, guide them *we are even 20% of the population, wihu! Extra note to sensitive souls : you need to learn to control this yourself, or you'll eat your soul from the inside. Even my family is not aware of this, so I had to learn it myself and it was tough when I was much younger.
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Don't feel troubled by these confusions. I know most of us stumble across blogs after blogs, picking up little reading like this. This might be something you need to know early. Because I took 10 years to grow comfortable in this. Remember that differences make you a unique person. You are not "weird" or "freak", you are just human. You don't have to give yourself a badge for being different and you don't have to explain everything that makes you, You.
Be comfortable in your skin.
I have a very sensitive soul. same like you, most people around me are unware of these. They took it lightly just because I don't know the right way to tell them how I feel or maybe I just want to show them that I'm strong. When I was kid, I always feel to much about everything. I have more complicated feelings than others. I don't know how to control myself and like what you said, I ate my soul from the inside. But now, I have to learn to control my sensitive soul. Bcs I'll always be that person who feel more. and It cost me a lot of pain .
ReplyDeleteYeap. I guess what helped me is by reading. When I read, I'll learn and understand *or maybe try to understand.
DeleteThe best way I do is by avoiding them all together, which is not the greatest way obviously. But ah well, I am learning and it take more time. I don't go through social media like Facebook or Twitter much because they are all just too much for me. Every time I read or see anything on war or racism or politic or anything on those hateful stuffs, they will drown me.
Sooo, yeah. It takes time to control this.
yeah. ^^ and that's the reason I choose to build a wall instead of bridge. Some people just don't understand. some of the time I take makes me suffer but it doesn't cost me a lot of pain than before.
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