For many times in my life, people look down at what I do to support my living. For example, Ma said she pitied me, for having to do this, she expected more from me than sitting in a booth selling things that I made, for time I used to cut those stickers, for sleepless night doodling. She said for someone as smart as me, I should sit in the office and use my brain for financial support instead of burning my time and energy.
This, shocked me. Truthfully, I love what I do. I love all the struggle to survive. I love creating things and seeing people's face when they see it. I love meeting people indirectly, trying to connect with them not by talking but merely by showing my things and sketches. The money part is bonus, really.
People might not see the way I see things, and I may not be able to let them understand, but in truth, I am glad I have something to connect with people. Other than this, it is really hard for me to even have a decent conversation. So I need this for once in awhile, it's a therapy.
I don't need a pity, I do this for myself, no one ever forced me to this, so why would anyone feel like I had to do it? If all I ever wanted is money, I'd probably do this much differently. Every time I heard people's thoughts concerning what I do, I feel the urge to defend myself, to say that I'm okay with what I am doing in my free-time, but who am I really talking to? People make judgements anyway whether we want it or not.
You see, all the big business talk with me is nothing if you don't make your own things and sell it yourself because you are not in my shoes. Your degree in business means nothing, if you can only give thoughts on how to do it but never did it anyway. I've heard so many ideas and opinions, but if you never did things that I did, you don't know what you are talking about. Create and make something from scratch and sell it to people, I want to see how long can you survive, then we can have the business talk.
The 4 years experience in small business is priceless, at least for me.
You have my support, Azreen~! I guess it's just difficult for most people to see/understand that it's not always to do with money, finding money, needing money, making money out of what you do. Obviously life does require money, but happiness and fulfillment may not require money at all. Just keep doing what you're doing and may Allah be with you!
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot Aneesah, this means a lot to me :')
DeleteHonestly, I can feel the connection, the message, the ideas and the beauty of art in your artwork, doodle,pictures, entries and all the little things you shared. You inspired me a lot. I can see that you're really happy with what you're doing. Everytime I read your entries, your thoughts, your opinions, or when I see all the pictures and all the little things you shared even about the movies, books, or place that you explore. All those things makes me happy and I can feel the love. Go Kak Azreen! You're my truly inspiration. hehe . I dedicated Jessie J's song Satnd Up for you. love xx
ReplyDeleteThanks for keep on reading.
DeleteI had to share these little things that I see and thought, because I found it's hard to tell people about it in usual conversation. Writing stuffs really helped me - you saw how awkward I was when we met kan :D And this little business is something I hold on to because it connects me with the world :'D
I never get bored with any of your entries. hehe. yes. but you so sweet and adorable. hehe. kalau saya ada duit banyak . I'm sure will be your regular customer and buy all of your products.
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