Little Things 53 : Thoughts

*

At a very young age, I learned to accept that the world can sometimes be so daunting and unfair.

I woke up everyday trying to teach myself to be strong and learn to be calm. Children's heart can be so fragile when they are young and naive.

I've been living in my dark eras for years. I tried to find solace and serenity to mend my scarred heart. People got their own ways, and mine was by creating a cocoon that protects me from external harms that the world can offer.

It wasn't the best way, but at the time, that was the best that I can do. I was not so much of a people's person, I don't enjoy socializing with peers and most of the time, I felt like an outsider. So I chose to stay away.

I created an environment that make me feel much more welcome. I read books so that I can understand the world better, not by living in it but by indirectly seeing it from afar.

I created hobbies that can consume my time and skills, so that I can use it well and feel like my time was not wasted on things that did not matter.

I chose my person, that I can confide in and depend on, but not fully. Because in my theory, human can still hurt you in so many possible ways.

I grew up slowly, letting myself lingers in the society. I tried to find answers that can make me understand about the world. It was not an easy task but I was enjoying my time and the adventure I was having.

I found beautiful things in random books and quotes, in random people among my environment, in experiences, in my journey, in everything. I learned to see not only with my eyes, but also with my soul.

Sometimes I found answers to some questions, sometimes I found signs, and sometimes things can still be so clueless and alien to me. It is how the world is.

You just can't expect to get everything in one go.

Life is unpredictable. It is sometimes hard and it is sometimes so easy we will have doubts. But that is how it is. The inconsistency gives the balance to our world, whether we like it or not.