Run - Some Running Accessories

It's been more than 5 years since my last running event, so I had to buy some stuff to prepare for my half-marathon. 

The Shoes

Late-late-late.

I ordered new shoes to replace my overworn shoes 6-weeks before my half marathon. I chose *almost the same shoes as before but a more recent version, from Al-Ikhsan. It was posted the next day, and I received it within 3 days. 

It's the Nike Flex Run 11 (Al-Ikhsan got 20% off). I didn't want to take too much time in picking up shoes, so I just chose the one that worked for me. This is my 3rd time buying almost exactly the same pair of shoes in the past 5 years - I think I have a problem with always sticking with one thing that works for me. 

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My current shoes My Now-Old Shoes:

I think I got it as a present in 2021 from my sister to replace the one that I bought in 2017:

So she basically just bought a new one to replace the old ones, almost the same design (Nike Flex 9). With normal wear, it lasted up to 3 years (I didn't run that much but I use it for any outdoor activities). The sole is now pretty worn down and it gets slippery. Now that it's rainy season again, I think I need to be prepared for wet paths.  

Look at those over-worn shoes, much loved and appreciated. It now fits nicely to my feet (like a comfy sweater) but it is slippery now it gets dangerous when used. I can Marie-Kondoed it later now that it served its function to the very last ♥♥♥ 

I hope 5-weeks is enough to "break in" the new shoes and adapt. 

(૭ ｡•̀ ᵕ •́｡ )૭ ganbatte~

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Military Tag

I also custom-ordered a military tag from Malaysia Military Tag. On this tag, there is some basic important info about me and also an emergency contact behind the tag. So if anything happens during a running practice alone, a running event, or during my travels, I hope this will be useful. I watched too much of Grey's Anatomy to know the importance of some sort of reliable identification, I don't want to be a Jane Doe.

It is stainless steel, so it should be able to deal with so much sweats :F I also ordered a small keychain version with my name + number and inserted it in my bag in case it went missing.

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I also bought a running pouch because the zipper on my old one was broken and can't be fixed anymore. Also probably want to try wearing a hat to see whether I can deal with sunlight better when I practice. Other than that, everything else is just my everyday stuff:

Books : Bittersweet, Book on Sorrow & Longing

For the past few months, I've slowly read Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole by Susan Cain. I consumed many books this year, but this is one of my favorites so far (maybe because I read it slowly, bit by bit only when I have time). 

Susan Cain wrote Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking about 10 years ago and it started the Quiet Revolution. It made me feel seen and explained, she became our spokesperson in the world where we feel comfortable not explaining ourselves for our differences. I've waited for that moment for so long throughout my childhood, teenage, and early adulthood, when we were expected to be 'socially active'. Well, that's a whole other story.

Last year she published Bittersweet and I decided to buy her paperback once it came out. Again, she did it, she wrote the things that I felt since I was 9 and when I started to see the world melancholically. I knew I couldn't be the only one who felt like this, I knew bittersweetness is not a momentary feeling for me, it's a temperament, it is a way of being, it is who I am and how I see the world. 

This book is part memoir, part self-help, part anecdotal, part philosophical, and part research in understanding herself and the world around her. It is entertaining enough to be read not as an academic reading which I appreciate. It is relatable enough not to be accepted as reading a self-help book. It felt more like reading a self-journey in understanding longing and bittersweetness in life. 

I think this book is suitable for people who see the world with so much intensity, with so much pain and longing and bearable sadness that follows them throughout their lives. We are not depressed per se, just a bit too melancholic, emotional, and nostalgic. We find the world too beautiful in its imperfection. 

We are the artists, the poets, and the writers of the world. I feel like we were born with this much intensity so that we could express it beautifully in our own ways. 

This book is not for everybody, I believe we can only get the connection we need with the book that we are reading when it is read at the right moment in our life. Some books are just not it at that moment, and some books resonate with your life well only at that particular time. So if you are primarily a bit sensitive, melancholic, and bitter, you can read it anytime. But if you are mostly positive, pursuing life like a tornado, driven, maybe it is not for you. Also, if you are in a phase of dealing with grief and sadness, it might be a good read for you too. 

There are mixed reviews on Goodreads, some people felt that it is a bit too anecdotal and too personal to be taken seriously - then I personally believe that they aren't born as melancholic as some of us are, they don't understand the never-ending search, the longing, the emptiness that we are often thinking about, the hole that can't be filled. 

Have you read Rumi, can you feel his pain and longing? Have you listened to The Album Leaf's The Light and not felt anything? Try to watch Tony Takitani and tell me what you feel? 

“Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.” - Rumi

"It's strange. I felt less lonely when I didn't know you." - Jean-Paul Satre 

"Can you understand? Someone, somewhere, can you understand me a little, love me a little? For all my despair, for all my ideals, for all that - I love life. But it is hard, and I have so much - Like so very much to learn." - Sylvia Plath

I see it not only in literature but in music, movies, arts, lyrics, and anything man-made, and then I see it in my surroundings, my existence, nature, people, the world, and everything God created. Big and small, visible and not visible. Everything is art and it is painfully beautiful, the perfect imperfection. 

So, every time I found someone as intense as me, I knew I was not the only one and it's just good to know (intense in this context is the inner self, the part that is not seen from the outside, I'm mostly seen as plain and rigid by my peers)

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Note: The only thing that I don't feel comfortable with in this book is how almost everyone she mentioned (that she connected with for the research of this book), is mostly Jewish. Is this intentional, yes, maybe because she is Jewish and it was her personal research, but I wish she made it more versatile and inclusive? Other than that, the book is a 5-star. 

Little Thing 272 : On Duality and the In-Between

"Duality" usually refers to having a contrast between two concepts, an opposite: dark and light, positive and negative, man and woman, death and rebirth, conscious and unconscious, stillness and movement, good and evil, peace and war, love and hate, up and down, mind and body, etc. On the physical level, it is easy to make this comparison because we can see the obvious.

In life, when we mention 'duality' we only focus on the obvious extreme sides of the comparison, the contrast, but what if instead of focusing only on these two sides, we take into account the in-between? The bridge that is connecting these two concepts? 

The grey part, the link between these two:

Instead of two, it is actually three sides to look at:

• You know the moment that it is dark enough to know it is dark but lighted enough to know you can still see in this condition, like walking in the deep dark forest and the only source of light you have is the reflection from the moon. Not dark, not light, the in-between state.
• Characters that are morally grey, not purely evil, and not exactly on the good side either. They go beyond the evil vs. good traits and usually follow their own sense of justice and rules. When they do good, is it good? When they do evil things for the greater good, is it evil? Not picking on any sides, but in between.
• People who are not fully a man or a woman because they were created to have both female/male genitals or even born with none.
• How about being in a semi-conscious state, when you are not fully awake from sleep but experiencing a vivid dream-like phase, or during a meditation when you are fully focused that you feel like you merge with your surroundings and become one. 
• People in a comatose state, when they seem unconscious to us, but they are able to feel and hear everything that is happening around them but not able to respond. Stuck in a semi-conscious state.
• Or like on a light switch, you turn it on and the light turns on and when you switch it off it turns off. But if you control the switch to be in the middle, when the light starts blinking on-off-on-off, that state, it is the bridge that connects both conditions.

What if when we talk about 'duality' we put the bridge that connects these two conditions into account, so instead of focusing only on these 2, it is actually in 3 states. Why the bridge is important? This is to let us know the importance of visualizing it as concepts that are connected to each other to reach its balanced state. We need to see it as a whole, instead of separated into two extreme sides.  

It is about accepting that in order to understand darkness, we need to know the light, in order to know joy, we need to accept pain because they are connected with each other. 

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But it isn't a completely new idea lah, I've just started to make sense of this concept for the past several years. For instance, when I was much younger when people asked me what I wanted, I would answer that I wanted 'happiness', so I aimed for that. But the older I get, I learned that in order to earn happiness, I need to embrace the sadness in my life. Being in a constant state of euphoria isn't sustainable, it is not even normal. I don't have to be constantly happy to live a good life, nor should I be unhappy all the time, but I would rather learn to be content with the current state I am in. 

When people ask me, I want to be able to say that I am 'content', I'm not happy or sad, I'm just ok, I guess. 

But I am not in that state yet, I'm still learning to think and feel, to accept and forgive, to let go and perhaps move on. Hermann Hesse likes to write his fiction about the concept of duality, but as I said, there is more to see other than these 2 extreme sides, there is the in-between and I think it is important to take that perspective into account because sometimes, there are hidden parts where most people don't usually see. 

I know we only see the obvious, but what about the subtle things, the mostly hidden, the usually forgotten? As David Bohm said in Whole and the Implicate Order on the concept of the quantum realm: underlying physical appearances, the "explicate order", there is a deeper, hidden "implicate order".

Little Thing 271 : Creating A Habit, Sofi's Sports Day and Books I Read in September

So far I've been experimenting with the 2 posts every week and I have managed to maintain a good number since Feb (except in May, when I was struggling to think, let alone write). 8 is good, 2 posts each week is good. Sometimes I even write scheduled posts early on because I want to or I can, and I am proud of myself for having the discipline to sit and write something. Sometimes I just want to crawl under the bed and not write anything public (probably just disappear from the internet, just pack up and leave), but it is never good to listen to myself when the struggle is real. 

I'm not depressed anymore, I just find it hard to be content, that's all. My spirit is still burning, and I still want so many things in life. I think social media, in general, is unhealthy, the amount of time I spent there coveting the things that I don't have, comparing my life to others, and stalking lives. I know this is the norm these days, but I want to be able to step aside and actually have a life to live, away from the world that we created as our public persona. 

I want to walk. 

I think I needed to walk to survive this, and so I walked and kept on walking. Then slowly, I was able to write again, to have mental clarity, and hopefully, one day, to have the strength to let go of the things that have been anchoring me down.

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Last weekend we attended Sofi's sports day - in a closed badminton court (which I appreciated immensely because I really hate hot days out in the sun). When I was younger I used to hate sports, and I detested it with all my heart - didn't like the competition or the hassle, or the crowd, or the weather, or the attention. Just not a sports person, the only thing I was good at was endurance - the long walk or run, an activity that doesn't require interaction with other people. 

But, my Sofi was having a sports day and I'm a supportive mother, I wanted to be there for her. So the sports day was a day that I was looking forward to - I even asked my family to attend too (my brother and my mom were there). I was willing to be the cheerleader, but any other activities were passed to Af as agreed before the event. 

We arrived early, and we ate in the car, I packed tuna & egg wraps, boiled some quill eggs, and made Sofi a cheese sandwich. We went in, picked our spot, and passed Sofi to sit among her team. The thing that surprised me was how nervous she was when asked to be separated from us. She cried, she probably even wailed, she had to be soothed by a teacher for a while and was moody all the time she sat apart from us. Even when she clearly can see us sitting on the bench from afar. We never had this problem before, I think she started developing separation anxiety again since she started going to school full-day this month. This was new. 

Anyway, the event was cute. Children marched, toddlers danced in pompoms, and they played games even though the whole scene was so messy and they were scattered everywhere, it was so precious but boy, so hectic too. The 2 hours event was so fun because I mostly sat at the bench as a spectator, shouting 'whoowhoo' and clapping the long-blue tubes. 

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Books I Consumed in September:

• Look at the Lights, My Love by Annie Ernaux
• Babel by RF Kuang
• Reproduction by Louisa Hall
• Evil Eye by Etaf Rum
• Thieves by Lucie Bryon
• The Perfect Medicine by Brodie Ramin
• A Woman Is No Man by Etaf Rum
• The Half Moon by Mary Beth Keane

None of these books are perfect, but they give female empowerment vibes, a topic that is still new to me. RFKuang was 26 when she wrote Babel (650+ pages of beautifully crafted speculative fiction), Reproduction tells a story about the writer's own pregnancy and miscarriage, the traumatic experience of childbirth, and the insecurity of motherhood. Etaf Rum is a Palestinian refugee, her parents emigrated to the US, and the books that she wrote were from her own views, frustrated by her limitation as a Muslim woman in her society. The Half-Moon started well, but it ended quite badly so I didn't know what to summarize here. 

These books give me the strength to write and embrace my own insecurity. 

I'm happy that Scribd decided to give me another free month. So I've been listening to audiobooks while running these days, I don't listen to songs anymore because it will drag me into more melancholic phases that aren't healthy for my soul. Listening to other people's stories teaches me to focus on other people's voices while running, unlike listening to songs, which do not require constant focus.

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Note: 

This weekend was packed with activities; Sofi's sports day, family visiting, trying to do some work before going on a mini trip, preparing for yet another interview (tomorrow), and and and. I hope I can have a good night's sleep, I know I have a lot on my plate right now. Fin.

Little Stories 259: The Mid-Autumn Fest, the Potluck and a Supposedly Long-Run

The Mid-Autumn Festival at school on Friday:

Last Friday night, Sofi's school conducted a Mid-Autumn Festival, where we gathered around, makan2, played games, and walked around the neighborhood carrying lanterns. That week they made their own lanterns and mooncakes (mochi version) at school. So that night was to wrap up the mini celebration. 

It was so much fun. 

I'm not that much of an active participant in events, but this was a bit different. It is more like a mini-family event where we don't all play together in big groups but in smaller own-family teams. So we ate, played games, and collected the sticker stamps, then when completed we took an Instax photo together. We also made a DIY lantern. Mostly the activity evolved around Sofi so it took the anxiety out of me. Ha.

Forgot to take nice photos but I made short reels on my personal IG, so precious ♥

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Potluck Party & Movie Session at my brother's on Saturday:

We had a potluck party at my brother's.

He requested nasi lemak from me, which was the catalyst of the mini-activity on a Saturday. So I cooked the nasi lemak and made sambal kentang ikan bilis. My sister made the sambal, fried the chicken, and ikan bilis, and my brother made cinnamon rolls for teatime + also prepared the table and stuff, and Af brought pisang goreng and keropok lekor for later (but it was finished before tea-time). The others helped around, it was group work sans the grownups' stress (aren't we the grownups nowadays?). 

Then we watched Finch on Apple+ on Z's huge screen. 

It is a post-apocalyptic survival movie starring Tom Hanks (Finch), the robot (it insisted on being called Jeff), and the dog. The story follows dying-Finch, who builds a robot to take care of his dog when he dies T^T 

It is a beautifully shot movie with a decent story. The robot has the personality of a stubborn child with the capability to learn (Finch installed AI), so that was fun. But the character build-up is short and it feels like there are more stories from Jeff and the dog that can be explored. A nice weekend movie, I'm glad that even Sofi can watch it with us. 

PS: I drank coffee but I was so exhausted by the socializing that I managed to sleep in super early, probably around 830 pm (but I woke up at 3 am though...). I had the whole morning drafting posts for this week and planning for the supposedly longer run later. 

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Then the long-run training on Sunday:

I was supposed to run a 7km run, but I only managed to do a 5.5km run before meeting Sofi by accident (when she saw me, kenot run anymore lah). Then I stopped the run and we had a breakfast picnic. I packed yesterday's nasi lemak leftover, scrambled eggs, and red beans. Also a cheese sandwich for the little princess:

Total accumulated: I got more than 30 km run + walk this week. Can't believe that I waited until the last minute to start seriously training :F

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DIY protein bar:

I also made my own experimental no-bake protein bar to fuel up because I'll be so hungry in the morning (+ all day) and I can't eat before a run. I made this with Sofi helping me out. I think each batch can last up to 3-5 days depending on how many people pulun sekali. It wasn't baked (but needs to be kept in the fridge), so the texture is a bit chewy, unlike cookies. I'm fine with that as long as it serves its function. Sofi seems to like it.  

Base:

• Oat
• Honey
• Peanut butter
• Coconut oil
• Almond milk

Crushed Nuts/seeds:

• Chia seeds
• Flax seed powder
• Walnut
• Peanut
• Almond
• Pumpkin seeds
• Sunflower seeds

Dried fruits:

• Kismis
• Cranberries

Little Stories 258 : Another Dentist Trip and A Day Out in the Sun

After the root canal treatment in 2020, the day finally arrived, I made an appointment at the dentist to get my two left molars fixed yesterday. Basically, just to get fillings but I was so traumatized by the 2020 treatment, so I procrastinated for 3 years to get it done. Ha. 

I made an appointment at Lumiere Dental Clinic in Equine Park SK.

I never went there before, just trying out a new clinic until I find one that I feel comfortable with. I arrived 20 minutes early. I went in, the doctor gave a briefing on what the steps going to be, asked me about the problems, and took a look around. Then after that, he told me that I had 3 problematic molars that needed some fillings, all on the left sides and I also would need a routine scaling. He explained the procedure, the duration of the treatments, and the price range. He asked me what I would like to do.

I chose to do the 3 molar fillings, and the scaling was scheduled for next month. It took around 30 minutes for the treatments, mostly uncomfortable and some minor pain (sapa suruh let it rot lama2 kan). But compared with my previous treatment in 2020, this was much better. 3 molars in one shot, but much better service. The doctor assured me or distracted me with an explanation, and I'm thankful for the small care. Sbb it is scary, jgn tipu kata you go to the dentist every 6 months :F

Also, I had fillings in my different molars before. I still have one with a black filling from the school year (which is very obvious and they stopped using the filling nowadays), and I have a plastered one on the right that I did in 2020 (also obvious) but these new ones are different. It is pristine and beautiful. They looked like original teeth before any holes. They look so niceeee, I never thought the technology has improved so much - I mean I have 3 different types of fillings in my different molars to compare to right now. These ones are the best, in terms of the aesthetic lah, I hope they don't need that much attention in the future.

Later that day, I went to the city with my brother and sister, and I asked them to guess which of my molars were fixed that day and they both guessed wrong. Hihi.

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Free consult.

Molar filling: RM 120 each x 3 = RM 360

Duration: 30 minutes

Pain level: Mild, the holes weren't that deep

Feedback: Teeth look like original pristine-looking molars, like nothing was plastered on them. 

Note: I will go to this clinic from now on.

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Okay, different story.

Alang2 I was already out, I asked my brother to join me - then somehow my sister also joined us. It was my active resting day so I needed a walk (managed to get a 5km walk). While waiting for my sister, we wanted to try Broom in the BB area but it was closed every Tuesday. We were already there, so we went to Breakfast Spot right next to it. 

Bad choice, pastries are not their forte, so it was bad. My brother said their main dishes are good - but not pastries. You go to Broom for pastries OK. Lesson learned. My sister was still a long way from KL so we walked to Lalaport and just took a look around. Nothing much. 

We had lunch and tumpang her back by car (and her car's air-cond needed new 'gas' so we were hot all the way back, really-really hot). Then it was raining heavily halfway back but it was too late, my migraine started anyway. We picked up Sofi and we went out for boba tea (which later disrupted her sleeping time and she went to sleep at 10 pm). I had to sleep in early because of the migraine. Soooo, there are reasons why I have 'these set of rules' because I learned patterns and I know which works best.

• No processed sugars after 3 pm for Sofi on school days,
• No walk in the direct sun for me, I need shaded paths or get proper glasses, no hot places, no caffeine after 12, and a lot of nos' just to avoid these bad migraines. 

Get my molars fixed, done - 2023

Movie : Past Lives (2023)

I watched Past Lives recently and it left me in awe. 

The heartfelt beauty, the warmth, the slowness of life, the innocence of childhood, the meticulous details, the unspoken feelings that go beyond time. 

Past Lives follows these 2 characters: Nae Young (now Nora Moon) and her childhood best friend Hae Sung, for over 24 years. They were close friends when they were 12 in Korea, then Nora immigrated to Canada, they met again online when they were 24, had a long-distance relationship but then decided to stop talking to each other, and they were reunited again in NY when they were 36. Nora is married to Arthur and Hae Sung just ended a relationship with her then-girlfriend. 

It is a beautiful movie, about life in general and I love basic mundane stories about life. You can feel the heaviness of this past that they clung to. It's a story about love but without the fireworks and the fairy tale. It is bittersweet and real. I love the depiction of mature adult relationships between Hae Sung - Nora - Arthur.

Kudos to Celine Song, for her first directorial debut film. 

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*with spoiler moving forward*

• From other people's articles that summed up the message of the movie: 

The film's message is that fate doesn't gift a fairytale relationship to everyone and that distance and circumstances change everything in a relationship. They realize that their relationship isn't meant to be even though they believe in the idea of in-yeon or destiny.

• Even though they are strongly attracted to each other, they both want different lives and have different goals, she chooses reality instead of a dream even though it is painful for her. They have changed and they are not the same person anymore. They clung to an idea of each other, the one left in the past, they were looking to rekindle the innocence of first love. But finally, Nora chooses Arthur, the one she had built her life with in NY, she chooses the present time. 
• I mean, the options are either Nora to move to Korea or Hae Sung to move to NY, both clearly are not what they want, and they would hate themselves if they sacrifice their lives for the other. It is the most rational thing to do, this 'adulting' kan. In a fairy tale fiction, they would probably be together without the film showing the messes that they will create along the way because of their decision.
• I love this line: "You had to leave because you're you, and the reason I liked you is because you're you, and who you are is someone who leaves." 
• I love the composition, it is visually beautiful, the script is excellent, and the characters' chemistry is undeniable. Love it I love it!

 

Beautiful Films/Series lately :

• Past Lives (2023) - Celine Song
• Scenes from a Marriage (2021) - Hagai Levi 
• Close (2022) - Lukas Dhont
• Columbus (2017) - Kogonada
• After Yang (2021) - Kogonada
• Aftersun (2022) - Charlotte Wells
• Normal People (2020)
• First Love (2022) - Yuri Kanchiku
• Minari (2020) - Lee Isaac Chung

Little Thing 271 : The Basic Rights

I'm still processing about this.

I worked with this company for the past 1.5 months (since July) and was supposed to work full-time starting in September. There were many red flags since I was offered the job but I was desperate for the job (because he offered remote flexible work with a good salary). So I closed my eyes to all the red flags: all the postponed meetups (more than 3 times), canceled video calls without any notifications beforehand, sending works and texts through WhatsApp even late at night or on weekends or on holidays, no offer letter and no contract even after requested and reminded (more than 3 times), request to meet up with any of the team members was denied (because apparently I only work directly with him), so I don't know anyone else in the company nor anyone knew my existent when I came to the office once. 

The last blow was when I was angry because he canceled a video call without telling me that it was canceled, so I waited fully prepared in front of the screen for several hours (he said he was in a meeting, sampai ke sudah meeting tak habis). So I asked for my payment, the one that he has been postponing paying as well, not only that, I also mentioned the canceled meetup, no contract, and those issues lah. Then he said he would pay me for all the work I've done and I was discontinued from working. 

I was professional all through the time since he hired me. I worked on all his tasks, and delivered super-fast and efficiently, if there were any issues regarding my designs, he never complained or made an effort to sit and discuss them with me. So, the main issue here was probably because I asked for my basic rights which is an official contract for me, and my payment for the last 1.5 months. It was basic rights and I gave gentle reminders (+request) so many times before I hit the right spot. 

We both took it personally. 

So I was discontinued (or fired, but he used the word 'discontinued').

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I know it is taboo, we can't say any bad things about our "employer". But there must be a standard, right. I mean, we don't personally know each other so we need to build trust. Both sides need to make an effort to create a sustainable working relationship because this is not a charity or a friendly exchange.  He pays me for my skill and time, and in exchange, I help him in improving the visual side of his company. At this age, I feel like I need to be able to feel like I'm collaborating instead of a mere designer that being paid to do visuals. 

So if asking for the most basic thing is an offense, then it is not a fair relationship because it is obviously a linear one-sided transaction. I'm in the phase of questioning my whole career and my personality. But I don't know, maybe this year is the year I had to face certain kinds of new challenges to prepare me for a better future. It is hard and confusing but I had to persevere and don't let this one experience bring me down.

This might be the phase where I'm lost in my late 30s and questioning my whole existence. 

I'm also so depressed and confused but I'm telling myself to trust the process. 

Books : Bookshops in Amcorp Mall

On the day that we went to Stickerrific, Af also decided to bring me to Amcorp Mall afterwards (maybe because he has been stalking my blog and he knows I'm searching for second-hand books in the city or maybe it is just random nice thoughts of bringing me to places with books). 

We went there on a Sunday, we didn't know how packed it was at Amcorp Mall on a Sunday. They have this weekly event where people sell their thrift/preloved/antiques/hobby items there. So many antiques, so many used books, CDs, cassettes, books, collectibles, toys, clothes, everything people collect I guess. The event took up 4 levels, a heaven for collectors. 

But I just aimed for books, as expected:

Book shops in Amcorp Mall:

• Books for a Better World, BFBW (G Floor & 2nd Floor) 
  
• Dany Che' Comic (1st Floor) - Huge collection of Western comics
• Bookxcess (level 3) - They have a huge collection of great children's books here.
• And random old booksellers at these weekend booths

I didn't buy any books. It is so hard to find physical books that I really want to keep nowadays :F 

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Random book update:

During the short Scribd opening, I managed to finish up these books:

• Evil Eye by Etaf Rum - audiobook
• Reproduction by Louisa Hall - audiobook
• Babel by RF Kuang - audiobook
• Look at the Light, My Love by Annie Ernaux - audiobook
• Getting Lost by Annie Ernaux - audiobook
• A Migrating Bird by Elif Shafak - short story ebook
• Conversation with Friends by Sally Rooney - physical book
• How to Stay Sane in an Age of Division by Elif Shafak - short story ebook
• Washes, Pray by Noor Naga - physical book
• Novelist as Vocation by Haruki Murakami - audiobook

I was ready to cancel my account, but when I tried to cancel it, I was offered another 30 days of free subscription so I'm staying on another month. Thank you, Scribd for giving me access to free books when I'm broke. Here is a sign that you should try Scribd too, click here (you'll get 2 months free trial). 

Little Stories 257 : Totoro Hunting at Stickerrific

It is already September and I was supposed to restock my zines in early Aug. But Aug went by so fast and we were all too busy so last weekend I asked Af's help to bring me to Stickerrific (in Jaya One). So now my travel zines are restocked, and my latest colouring zines are also available there OK. I'm going to restock again in late Oct or early Nov to prepare for December's big holiday.

I started sending stuff to Stickerrific in 2017, and I also did so many workshops there in 2018 (pre-Sofi). So Stickerrific holds a special place in my heart. But nowadays I don't do as much stuff as before except for zines. I think I just want to focus on that.  

Sofi loves it there, it feels like her own special playground. Stickerrific does feel like stationery shops in Japan, so it is a good reminder. They also have a big camera that we can take+print photos right away and we aaaaalways take photos there. We played a little game of hunting Totoro :

I really want to buy a pen and a pen holder for my journal - specifically in olive green colour. But I've slowly searched for the 'right' one since I started journaling again and quality paper can stand gel/ink pen kan, I've been enjoying writing and want to buy one. So I looked around, here I found some:

• Jetstream 3 Uni Mitsubishi: This one comes in Olive Green, but it is a ballpoint and with 3 colours options that I don't need and don't like to see, visually the blue and red part is just not that nice to my eyes. Price: RM 26
• Uniball One: This one comes in a limited version of Faded Olive colour and it is a gel-pen. It offers a refill as well. I might consider this one. Price: RM 15.
• Leuchtturm1917 Drehgriffel Gel Pen - This one is a beauty and the heaviness is great, but ooomygod, it's a RM 150 gel pen. A German-made gel-pen that costs RM 150. Right, good to know. 

I did consider a fountain pen, but it is just too much of a hassle for me. I'm clumsy and I can't afford to lose it. So a good gel pen would do - the one that won't hopefully spoil on one fall. I want to find more options in Eslite and Tsutaya laterrrr when I walk in the city again (a good excuse for a window shopping sesh, hihi). 

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Here is the first time I sent my first stocks in 2017:

Look at that cheeky girl with a fake phone in her pocket, a watch that she doesn't know how to read yet and sunglasses that she doesn't really wear. I dunno lah how she can be that conscious about her appearance, she's 4 and she knows how to choose her accessories.