Little Stories 259: The Mid-Autumn Fest, the Potluck and a Supposedly Long-Run

The Mid-Autumn Festival at school on Friday:

Last Friday night, Sofi's school conducted a Mid-Autumn Festival, where we gathered around, makan2, played games, and walked around the neighborhood carrying lanterns. That week they made their own lanterns and mooncakes (mochi version) at school. So that night was to wrap up the mini celebration. 

It was so much fun. 

I'm not that much of an active participant in events, but this was a bit different. It is more like a mini-family event where we don't all play together in big groups but in smaller own-family teams. So we ate, played games, and collected the sticker stamps, then when completed we took an Instax photo together. We also made a DIY lantern. Mostly the activity evolved around Sofi so it took the anxiety out of me. Ha.

Forgot to take nice photos but I made short reels on my personal IG, so precious ♥

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Potluck Party & Movie Session at my brother's on Saturday:

We had a potluck party at my brother's.

He requested nasi lemak from me, which was the catalyst of the mini-activity on a Saturday. So I cooked the nasi lemak and made sambal kentang ikan bilis. My sister made the sambal, fried the chicken, and ikan bilis, and my brother made cinnamon rolls for teatime + also prepared the table and stuff, and Af brought pisang goreng and keropok lekor for later (but it was finished before tea-time). The others helped around, it was group work sans the grownups' stress (aren't we the grownups nowadays?). 

Then we watched Finch on Apple+ on Z's huge screen. 

It is a post-apocalyptic survival movie starring Tom Hanks (Finch), the robot (it insisted on being called Jeff), and the dog. The story follows dying-Finch, who builds a robot to take care of his dog when he dies T^T 

It is a beautifully shot movie with a decent story. The robot has the personality of a stubborn child with the capability to learn (Finch installed AI), so that was fun. But the character build-up is short and it feels like there are more stories from Jeff and the dog that can be explored. A nice weekend movie, I'm glad that even Sofi can watch it with us. 

PS: I drank coffee but I was so exhausted by the socializing that I managed to sleep in super early, probably around 830 pm (but I woke up at 3 am though...). I had the whole morning drafting posts for this week and planning for the supposedly longer run later. 

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Then the long-run training on Sunday:

I was supposed to run a 7km run, but I only managed to do a 5.5km run before meeting Sofi by accident (when she saw me, kenot run anymore lah). Then I stopped the run and we had a breakfast picnic. I packed yesterday's nasi lemak leftover, scrambled eggs, and red beans. Also a cheese sandwich for the little princess:

Total accumulated: I got more than 30 km run + walk this week. Can't believe that I waited until the last minute to start seriously training :F

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DIY protein bar:

I also made my own experimental no-bake protein bar to fuel up because I'll be so hungry in the morning (+ all day) and I can't eat before a run. I made this with Sofi helping me out. I think each batch can last up to 3-5 days depending on how many people pulun sekali. It wasn't baked (but needs to be kept in the fridge), so the texture is a bit chewy, unlike cookies. I'm fine with that as long as it serves its function. Sofi seems to like it.  

Base:

• Oat
• Honey
• Peanut butter
• Coconut oil
• Almond milk

Crushed Nuts/seeds:

• Chia seeds
• Flax seed powder
• Walnut
• Peanut
• Almond
• Pumpkin seeds
• Sunflower seeds

Dried fruits:

• Kismis
• Cranberries

Little Stories 258 : Another Dentist Trip and A Day Out in the Sun

After the root canal treatment in 2020, the day finally arrived, I made an appointment at the dentist to get my two left molars fixed yesterday. Basically, just to get fillings but I was so traumatized by the 2020 treatment, so I procrastinated for 3 years to get it done. Ha. 

I made an appointment at Lumiere Dental Clinic in Equine Park SK.

I never went there before, just trying out a new clinic until I find one that I feel comfortable with. I arrived 20 minutes early. I went in, the doctor gave a briefing on what the steps going to be, asked me about the problems, and took a look around. Then after that, he told me that I had 3 problematic molars that needed some fillings, all on the left sides and I also would need a routine scaling. He explained the procedure, the duration of the treatments, and the price range. He asked me what I would like to do.

I chose to do the 3 molar fillings, and the scaling was scheduled for next month. It took around 30 minutes for the treatments, mostly uncomfortable and some minor pain (sapa suruh let it rot lama2 kan). But compared with my previous treatment in 2020, this was much better. 3 molars in one shot, but much better service. The doctor assured me or distracted me with an explanation, and I'm thankful for the small care. Sbb it is scary, jgn tipu kata you go to the dentist every 6 months :F

Also, I had fillings in my different molars before. I still have one with a black filling from the school year (which is very obvious and they stopped using the filling nowadays), and I have a plastered one on the right that I did in 2020 (also obvious) but these new ones are different. It is pristine and beautiful. They looked like original teeth before any holes. They look so niceeee, I never thought the technology has improved so much - I mean I have 3 different types of fillings in my different molars to compare to right now. These ones are the best, in terms of the aesthetic lah, I hope they don't need that much attention in the future.

Later that day, I went to the city with my brother and sister, and I asked them to guess which of my molars were fixed that day and they both guessed wrong. Hihi.

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Free consult.

Molar filling: RM 120 each x 3 = RM 360

Duration: 30 minutes

Pain level: Mild, the holes weren't that deep

Feedback: Teeth look like original pristine-looking molars, like nothing was plastered on them. 

Note: I will go to this clinic from now on.

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Okay, different story.

Alang2 I was already out, I asked my brother to join me - then somehow my sister also joined us. It was my active resting day so I needed a walk (managed to get a 5km walk). While waiting for my sister, we wanted to try Broom in the BB area but it was closed every Tuesday. We were already there, so we went to Breakfast Spot right next to it. 

Bad choice, pastries are not their forte, so it was bad. My brother said their main dishes are good - but not pastries. You go to Broom for pastries OK. Lesson learned. My sister was still a long way from KL so we walked to Lalaport and just took a look around. Nothing much. 

We had lunch and tumpang her back by car (and her car's air-cond needed new 'gas' so we were hot all the way back, really-really hot). Then it was raining heavily halfway back but it was too late, my migraine started anyway. We picked up Sofi and we went out for boba tea (which later disrupted her sleeping time and she went to sleep at 10 pm). I had to sleep in early because of the migraine. Soooo, there are reasons why I have 'these set of rules' because I learned patterns and I know which works best.

• No processed sugars after 3 pm for Sofi on school days,
• No walk in the direct sun for me, I need shaded paths or get proper glasses, no hot places, no caffeine after 12, and a lot of nos' just to avoid these bad migraines. 

Get my molars fixed, done - 2023

Movie : Past Lives (2023)

I watched Past Lives recently and it left me in awe. 

The heartfelt beauty, the warmth, the slowness of life, the innocence of childhood, the meticulous details, the unspoken feelings that go beyond time. 

Past Lives follows these 2 characters: Nae Young (now Nora Moon) and her childhood best friend Hae Sung, for over 24 years. They were close friends when they were 12 in Korea, then Nora immigrated to Canada, they met again online when they were 24, had a long-distance relationship but then decided to stop talking to each other, and they were reunited again in NY when they were 36. Nora is married to Arthur and Hae Sung just ended a relationship with her then-girlfriend. 

It is a beautiful movie, about life in general and I love basic mundane stories about life. You can feel the heaviness of this past that they clung to. It's a story about love but without the fireworks and the fairy tale. It is bittersweet and real. I love the depiction of mature adult relationships between Hae Sung - Nora - Arthur.

Kudos to Celine Song, for her first directorial debut film. 

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*with spoiler moving forward*

• From other people's articles that summed up the message of the movie: 

The film's message is that fate doesn't gift a fairytale relationship to everyone and that distance and circumstances change everything in a relationship. They realize that their relationship isn't meant to be even though they believe in the idea of in-yeon or destiny.

• Even though they are strongly attracted to each other, they both want different lives and have different goals, she chooses reality instead of a dream even though it is painful for her. They have changed and they are not the same person anymore. They clung to an idea of each other, the one left in the past, they were looking to rekindle the innocence of first love. But finally, Nora chooses Arthur, the one she had built her life with in NY, she chooses the present time. 
• I mean, the options are either Nora to move to Korea or Hae Sung to move to NY, both clearly are not what they want, and they would hate themselves if they sacrifice their lives for the other. It is the most rational thing to do, this 'adulting' kan. In a fairy tale fiction, they would probably be together without the film showing the messes that they will create along the way because of their decision.
• I love this line: "You had to leave because you're you, and the reason I liked you is because you're you, and who you are is someone who leaves." 
• I love the composition, it is visually beautiful, the script is excellent, and the characters' chemistry is undeniable. Love it I love it!

 

Beautiful Films/Series lately :

• Past Lives (2023) - Celine Song
• Scenes from a Marriage (2021) - Hagai Levi 
• Close (2022) - Lukas Dhont
• Columbus (2017) - Kogonada
• After Yang (2021) - Kogonada
• Aftersun (2022) - Charlotte Wells
• Normal People (2020)
• First Love (2022) - Yuri Kanchiku
• Minari (2020) - Lee Isaac Chung

Little Thing 271 : The Basic Rights

I'm still processing about this.

I worked with this company for the past 1.5 months (since July) and was supposed to work full-time starting in September. There were many red flags since I was offered the job but I was desperate for the job (because he offered remote flexible work with a good salary). So I closed my eyes to all the red flags: all the postponed meetups (more than 3 times), canceled video calls without any notifications beforehand, sending works and texts through WhatsApp even late at night or on weekends or on holidays, no offer letter and no contract even after requested and reminded (more than 3 times), request to meet up with any of the team members was denied (because apparently I only work directly with him), so I don't know anyone else in the company nor anyone knew my existent when I came to the office once. 

The last blow was when I was angry because he canceled a video call without telling me that it was canceled, so I waited fully prepared in front of the screen for several hours (he said he was in a meeting, sampai ke sudah meeting tak habis). So I asked for my payment, the one that he has been postponing paying as well, not only that, I also mentioned the canceled meetup, no contract, and those issues lah. Then he said he would pay me for all the work I've done and I was discontinued from working. 

I was professional all through the time since he hired me. I worked on all his tasks, and delivered super-fast and efficiently, if there were any issues regarding my designs, he never complained or made an effort to sit and discuss them with me. So, the main issue here was probably because I asked for my basic rights which is an official contract for me, and my payment for the last 1.5 months. It was basic rights and I gave gentle reminders (+request) so many times before I hit the right spot. 

We both took it personally. 

So I was discontinued (or fired, but he used the word 'discontinued').

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I know it is taboo, we can't say any bad things about our "employer". But there must be a standard, right. I mean, we don't personally know each other so we need to build trust. Both sides need to make an effort to create a sustainable working relationship because this is not a charity or a friendly exchange.  He pays me for my skill and time, and in exchange, I help him in improving the visual side of his company. At this age, I feel like I need to be able to feel like I'm collaborating instead of a mere designer that being paid to do visuals. 

So if asking for the most basic thing is an offense, then it is not a fair relationship because it is obviously a linear one-sided transaction. I'm in the phase of questioning my whole career and my personality. But I don't know, maybe this year is the year I had to face certain kinds of new challenges to prepare me for a better future. It is hard and confusing but I had to persevere and don't let this one experience bring me down.

This might be the phase where I'm lost in my late 30s and questioning my whole existence. 

I'm also so depressed and confused but I'm telling myself to trust the process. 

Books : Bookshops in Amcorp Mall

On the day that we went to Stickerrific, Af also decided to bring me to Amcorp Mall afterwards (maybe because he has been stalking my blog and he knows I'm searching for second-hand books in the city or maybe it is just random nice thoughts of bringing me to places with books). 

We went there on a Sunday, we didn't know how packed it was at Amcorp Mall on a Sunday. They have this weekly event where people sell their thrift/preloved/antiques/hobby items there. So many antiques, so many used books, CDs, cassettes, books, collectibles, toys, clothes, everything people collect I guess. The event took up 4 levels, a heaven for collectors. 

But I just aimed for books, as expected:

Book shops in Amcorp Mall:

• Books for a Better World, BFBW (G Floor & 2nd Floor) 
  
• Dany Che' Comic (1st Floor) - Huge collection of Western comics
• Bookxcess (level 3) - They have a huge collection of great children's books here.
• And random old booksellers at these weekend booths

I didn't buy any books. It is so hard to find physical books that I really want to keep nowadays :F 

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Random book update:

During the short Scribd opening, I managed to finish up these books:

• Evil Eye by Etaf Rum - audiobook
• Reproduction by Louisa Hall - audiobook
• Babel by RF Kuang - audiobook
• Look at the Light, My Love by Annie Ernaux - audiobook
• Getting Lost by Annie Ernaux - audiobook
• A Migrating Bird by Elif Shafak - short story ebook
• Conversation with Friends by Sally Rooney - physical book
• How to Stay Sane in an Age of Division by Elif Shafak - short story ebook
• Washes, Pray by Noor Naga - physical book
• Novelist as Vocation by Haruki Murakami - audiobook

I was ready to cancel my account, but when I tried to cancel it, I was offered another 30 days of free subscription so I'm staying on another month. Thank you, Scribd for giving me access to free books when I'm broke. Here is a sign that you should try Scribd too, click here (you'll get 2 months free trial). 

Little Stories 257 : Totoro Hunting at Stickerrific

It is already September and I was supposed to restock my zines in early Aug. But Aug went by so fast and we were all too busy so last weekend I asked Af's help to bring me to Stickerrific (in Jaya One). So now my travel zines are restocked, and my latest colouring zines are also available there OK. I'm going to restock again in late Oct or early Nov to prepare for December's big holiday.

I started sending stuff to Stickerrific in 2017, and I also did so many workshops there in 2018 (pre-Sofi). So Stickerrific holds a special place in my heart. But nowadays I don't do as much stuff as before except for zines. I think I just want to focus on that.  

Sofi loves it there, it feels like her own special playground. Stickerrific does feel like stationery shops in Japan, so it is a good reminder. They also have a big camera that we can take+print photos right away and we aaaaalways take photos there. We played a little game of hunting Totoro :

I really want to buy a pen and a pen holder for my journal - specifically in olive green colour. But I've slowly searched for the 'right' one since I started journaling again and quality paper can stand gel/ink pen kan, I've been enjoying writing and want to buy one. So I looked around, here I found some:

• Jetstream 3 Uni Mitsubishi: This one comes in Olive Green, but it is a ballpoint and with 3 colours options that I don't need and don't like to see, visually the blue and red part is just not that nice to my eyes. Price: RM 26
• Uniball One: This one comes in a limited version of Faded Olive colour and it is a gel-pen. It offers a refill as well. I might consider this one. Price: RM 15.
• Leuchtturm1917 Drehgriffel Gel Pen - This one is a beauty and the heaviness is great, but ooomygod, it's a RM 150 gel pen. A German-made gel-pen that costs RM 150. Right, good to know. 

I did consider a fountain pen, but it is just too much of a hassle for me. I'm clumsy and I can't afford to lose it. So a good gel pen would do - the one that won't hopefully spoil on one fall. I want to find more options in Eslite and Tsutaya laterrrr when I walk in the city again (a good excuse for a window shopping sesh, hihi). 

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Here is the first time I sent my first stocks in 2017:

Look at that cheeky girl with a fake phone in her pocket, a watch that she doesn't know how to read yet and sunglasses that she doesn't really wear. I dunno lah how she can be that conscious about her appearance, she's 4 and she knows how to choose her accessories. 

Little Thing 270 : Paradox of Tragedy

 

I came across the term 'Paradox of Tragedy' when I was reading Susan Cain's Bittersweet. 

What is the paradox of tragedy? The simplest way to explain this is how normally humans avoid misery and suffering, yet somehow we also invite these feelings into our lives by watching sad movies, reading fictional stories about other people's misery, viewing tragic arts, and listening to melancholic music. 

I did read Hanya Yanagihara's A Little Life knowing that it is a story about pain and suffering, I continued watching 13 Reasons Why knowing it could lead to nowhere near happiness, I listened to The Album Leaf's album knowing that I would sob when I really get into the music. Why do we do that? Why do we put ourselves in certain situations knowing the pain that it could bring to us?

So that is my question at 4 am in the morning today. 

This question was not original from me alone, past philosophers questioned this too - thus the term 'Paradox of Tragedy' was created because they were puzzled about this too. How come humans welcome certain kinds of pain and derive pleasure from it when the same thing if it happened to us in real life would only bring misery and sorrow? How come we voluntarily choose these stories or songs to 'enjoy'?

What makes it so appealing to us?

Perhaps it is one of the ways for us to engage with the powerful emotions that rest deep inside of us without having to live with the real consequences so that we can reflect on it just like we experienced it ourselves. The ability for us to imagine, be empathetic enough to feel, and perhaps even prepare for future pain. Or perhaps somehow we need an emotional release to restore it to its balanced level again:

"sometimes, however, the emotions build up like water behind a dam and demand release. Enter tragedy". - John Morreal

I don't know. Perhaps, I would want to feel like I'm not alone in such pain, when I read painful stories, watch fictional miseries, or listen to melancholic songs, I feel like I'm not alone. Maybe that's that. Or maybe I feel the beauty in the suffering itself. It makes me feel connected to my soul, or have a spiritual connection with the higher power, it makes me feel human, it makes me feel small and so fragile. 

There is this Japanese term "mono no aware" or the gentle sadness of things, that refers to how short and fragile every existence is, and also the need to appreciate it for its beauty - it is short, it is fragile, so you need to appreciate the time that you have with it. 

There is a melancholic beauty in falling in love, knowing that it won't last. There is pain in giving birth, knowing that we will die. It's the transience and bittersweet nature of everything. It is not necessarily morbid, I mean, you can't deny the beauty of sakura flowers when they are in full bloom, knowing that it will only last for a short time. Life is so short.

We enjoy it while it lasts. 

You need to understand the impermanence of everything to appreciate the things that we have. You may ask, when a flower withers, is it still a flower? Yes, it is. 

 

Here's Hammock's song for you: Mono No Aware. 

Event: Cover Making Workshop with Balqis & Moss Fest 2023

In July, I got an invite from Mossery to attend their event (Moss Fest 2023) + join one of their available workshops during the 3-day event. Yes, that Mossery. 

I explained to Sofi the night before that I had to 'work' on that Saturday, also reminded her several times that morning, she kept on finding me in my room or kitchen while I was getting ready, just to give me a long hug (*5 times to be exact) because I was leaving her with AF that day. 

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Let me clarify first, I asked my sister whether she wanted to join the event and she said yes *not as a driver, but as a participant. So, assuming she wanted to tag along to go to the event, I didn't take the train ride lah. But, she didn't even go to the event later on. She went to watch Oppenheimer in Paradigm Mall with Is while waiting for me to finish the 2 1/2 hrs workshop. Then we had lunch and she sent me back home. Like I was a teenage girl needing a ride to go to a tuition class :F

We were an hour early so we had breakfast at Broom, just next to the event place. Read the Broom's post here.

I registered for the event, received the special gift bag, and was introduced to the Mossery's founder. Then I joined the workshop and met Balqis.

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I chose a Cover-making workshop using cyanotype printing by Balqis or @studiosunprint. It has been a while since I did something new, so the workshop was so much fun. I learned about cyanotype printing, did 2 tests on paper, and later did the art for the cover. 

I intentionally wanted just leaves on my cover (I wish there were petals too, but there were none from the tray), and also I wanted it to be a bit darker so I exposed it to the sun for an extra minute. Composition-wise, I wanted the front cover to be less cluttered while the back cover shows some personalities (just like me, what you see from the outside doesn't necessarily resemble what I feel on the inside). Plus, a lot of dots that I made from talcum powders.

Here is my Mossery cover: 

Beautiful.

I've been using the Mossery yearly planner for a month since I got it (finishing this post in Sept). Here's the catch, I got the 2023 planner at the end of July, which means more than half of the planner has already passed and I can only use the scheduled planner from Aug - Dec. But, I'm going to use this planner as much as I can because I don't want to waste it.

My plan is to use half of the earlier part of the book with journaling/writing and another half as a scheduled planner (considering I started working full-time again in Aug, kan). I stopped journaling on physical books a while back and it feels odd to start writing again. But old habits die hard. 

The cover might not last as long as the other covers Mossery sells because it has no lamination and it has been dunked in the chemical solution and water when we made the cover. I can also see some white tiny feathered edges already. But that's okay.

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I also received a gift bag worth *RM 250 consisting of their 2023 Year Planner, Mossery cover illustrated by Angela Pan, Life in Progress booklet, artprints x 2 by Sibylline Meynet, greeting card by Liunic, Mossery planner stickers x 2, in a Mossery pouch bag. I bought a second-chance version of Mossery's undated planner for next year (30% off). 

The reels I made for them:

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