Eid isn't days that I usually look forward to.
We all have our stories, and for us, this particular festive season was always about little arguments, hassles and drama. We play our role as someone responsible enough to make these days work for those people that cherish Eid in their lives. As much as I want to feel it, I do still feel those bitterness in my mouth, the taste of things that were never enough.
But things slowly changed, this Eid, I'm celebrating with AF and his family.
I'm trying to feel things according to how they feel instead of how I usually feel. I wanted to enjoy these days, to cherish this religious celebration of ours, more than a yearly tradition. I wanted to feel what a family should feel. I've been waiting for almost 10 years, I knew there must be something in these days that make people get so overly attached and emotional. I wanted to understand those feelings. I wanted to see things that other people can see clearly.
Having another new family is a bliss, a whole new chapter, a chance.
I'm really thankful for these days.
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri,
Maaf Zahir and Batin.