In trying to appear stronger than I am, I think I've been unconsciously pushing uncomfortable feelings aside, especially the ones that I don't have any power to change or control - you know, the hard lingering ones. And so, for that, the pain starts to leak out to my physical body, it starts from the back of my head, the neck, shoulder, yes, the honorable stiff muscles on my upper body. When it started to explore the upper part of my head, the familiar feeling of pre-migraine, I knew, I just knew that I was keeping something inside of me that needed to come out - my body was telling me, if I ignored this, it would worsen.
And so last night, I lined up every issue one by one, next to one another, and acknowledged them. I let myself know why these issues were issues that I cared for, and the feelings that I was feeling were all valid. The insecurity, the fear, the pain, the vulnerability. I cried so much last night, that my eyes were puffy this morning, I started my day with hot ginger lemon tea, ice cube, and eye masks.
But the issues have been addressed, and I finally acknowledged them.
I ignored the warning signs for weeks.
Hopefully, my inner self will feel much better, or I will need a massage to loosen up the stiff muscles soon :F You know, this, the hyper-sensitivity that I've been given, although I feel like a nuisance at times, in a way, sometimes feel like a mini super-power if I know how to use it to my advantage. This is not my first rodeo, everything is just a bit 'extra' for me, I went through all my life phases with this, so I befriended it. But most of the time, I'm just annoyed by it.
I've mentioned this before. If you have chronic physical pain, you might as well tap into your mental health state, your subconscious, and the repressed emotions, maybe, just maybe, your body is trying to tell you something that you are not comfortable acknowledging yet.
Post Comment
Post a Comment