As a mother kan, I know I can't run away from having to make sacrifices in my life.
For the past 4 years, I have been with Sofi every day. I hardly get separated from her for long. She is still so attached to me as I'm attached to her. My name is her most favorite word. Right now, I'm her favorite person and I love it.
I accepted a job offer for a full-time position and now, we have to send her to daycare. Imagine spending more than 8 hours with someone else, and the only time we will have now is during the weekend. I always cry when I say this aloud because I hate the idea that she has so little time with me after this. I don't want to, but I had to and this is a sacrifice that I had to make.
I asked my mom about it and she said there are sacrifices that parents need to face to survive and do remember that I already spent 4 years being with her all the time, perhaps 'it is time'. Then I cried la of course, why would my mom say that it's okay to leave my child for other people to care for and spend my time on work instead. I've waited for so long to have Sofi in my life, then suddenly I can no longer spend my days with her because we can't survive in the capitalist world without a full-time job or stable income?
It is so frustrating.
I am still in the processing part, so there are a lot of emotions and phases to get through. But I hope we get through this fine and will adapt to the new change.
Hi Azreen! I'm gonna take the other end of the point and say it is a hard time for you and others in your position, and validate that you wish so much to be able to stay with Sofi for a couple more years. Indeed, they say the first 6 years of a child's life is the most crucial for development! I'm sure Sofi wishes for the same too, I grew up with working parents and always wished Mama was home more, eventhough I bukan buat apa pun with her if she's home. It's just the presence anr connection, maybe? My point is, inshaAllah give it a try but also keep in mind that you have permission to change your decision, negotiate a new arrangement, or anything that you feel might be better for your mind and soul. Yes we do sacrifice a lot but not to the detriment of our own selves. We hope and pray we're doing the right thing while also relying on guidance and working towards what is better, with His permission. Lots of love! Keep writing!
ReplyDeleteHi Aneesah, yes I understand. Thank you for the validation T^T
DeleteAt this point, for me, this is only rational decision to make. Yes, I managed to bertahan until she is 4 and that is a blessing in a struggle. I think now is the time to try to dip in the typical working industry again - maybe I will change my mind, maybe maybe. We'll see how it goes.