As a mother kan, I know I can't run away from having to make sacrifices in my life.
For the past 4 years, I have been with Sofi every day. I hardly get separated from her for long. She is still so attached to me as I'm attached to her. My name is her most favorite word. Right now, I'm her favorite person and I love it.
I accepted a job offer for a full-time position and now, we have to send her to daycare. Imagine spending more than 8 hours with someone else, and the only time we will have now is during the weekend. I always cry when I say this aloud because I hate the idea that she has so little time with me after this. I don't want to, but I had to and this is a sacrifice that I had to make.
I asked my mom about it and she said there are sacrifices that parents need to face to survive and do remember that I already spent 4 years being with her all the time, perhaps 'it is time'. Then I cried la of course, why would my mom say that it's okay to leave my child for other people to care for and spend my time on work instead. I've waited for so long to have Sofi in my life, then suddenly I can no longer spend my days with her because we can't survive in the capitalist world without a full-time job or stable income?
It is so frustrating.
I am still in the processing part, so there are a lot of emotions and phases to get through. But I hope we get through this fine and will adapt to the new change.
