Little Thing 321: In Omnia Paratus

You know there are certain things in life that you need to face because you’re a responsible person. Or maybe you’re just being dragged along by guilt and that constant self-effort to be the bigger person. Either way you show up. You brace yourself.

If given a choice, I wouldn’t want to deal with anything stressful. I just want a boring, undramatic life. But, it’s time.

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What is exposure therapy?

At its core, exposure therapy is all about rewiring the brain’s fear circuit. When you avoid something you fear, your brain gets a little dopamine hit every time you don’t face it. It learns: “Ah, avoidance = safety.” Over time, that fear grows quietly in the dark. So maybe you’re not healed, you’re just being avoidant.

Exposure therapy shines a light on it. You expose yourself to the fear in controlled, gradual doses until your brain realizes that nothing catastrophic happens. That’s called habituation, the nervous system recalibrates, the panic response fades. It is a way for you to learn that you can manage/control your fear of something that traumatize you. You build self-efficacy. The goal isn’t to never feel fear again, it’s to stop being ruled by it. 

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How to. 

• Treat it like emotional resistance training. Reframe it as a session, with a duration. For example: “I will endure anything and everything for this amount of time.” Like a boot camp.
• Detach expectations. Don’t set any. If it goes well, Alhamdulillah, if it doesn’t, okay. And if you don’t do great, recalibrate later.
• Practice micro-boundaries. Find small ways to stay grounded. Take a breather. Pass the baton. Step aside when you need to. Know how you’ll decompress after every exposure.
• Use humor privately. Internal sarcasm can be a psychological shield. You can intellectualize the whole thing if you need to but know that your brain gets triggered by patterns, and rewiring what feels permanent takes time. Humor turns pain into something you own. It’s not avoidance when done with awareness; it’s alchemy. Like I said before, control the narrative. 
• Take a step back and be attentive to yourself. Notice the little signs, manage from spiralling, be gentle and compassionate to yourself. 

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I can read 100 books, I can say that I am healed, kan. But how to know for sure, unless I expose myself to the things that I avoid. So, let's d'oa for the best possible outcomes and may the odds be in my favor.  

In omnia paratus