Little Thing 293: Quiet Noise, Sandwiches, and the 8-Year-Old

This morning began at 5 a.m.
No birdsong, no sunrise poetry—just me, blinking at my laptop, trying to finish a client’s draft before the day exploded. I managed to complete one. Then it was straight to egg sandwiches for Sofi’s Eid party, getting her into her baju kurung, sending her off with the usual school-run chaos.

By 8 a.m., I had made coffee and shifted into my full-time job—same desk, different hat. And in the middle of that whirlwind, a strange stillness. A whisper of a thought: This is it. This is my life.

And more than that—it’s enough. We’re okay. We have what we need. Sofi is fed and happy, and I’m getting things done, one draft, one task, one sandwich at a time. But still, there's always that little whisper. The quiet voice in the back of my mind: Shouldn’t I be doing more? Shouldn’t I have gotten further? Shouldn’t I feel better?

That’s when I remembered something Alain de Botton once said:

“There is a permanently 8-year-old child inside every one of us.”

That child is still here. Inside me. Still hoping to be seen, to be told she’s done enough. Still looking for approval, still afraid of falling behind. And that voice I hear—the one whispering that I’m not quite enough yet—it’s hers. She’s not wrong, but she might be clouded by doubts, and she's young.

So I’m learning to parent myself.
To talk to that part of me the way I speak to Sofi when she’s tired or scared or overwhelmed.

• “Hey, you’re okay.”
• “You’ve done so much.”
• “You’re enough for today.”
• "I'm proud of you for trying."

Because maybe the trick isn’t silencing the noise, but recognizing who’s speaking—and answering them gently.

Self-validation. Ok.

This is the emotional support Totoro we all need

-

Here's more to unstructured randoms this week:

• Random question, can you guess which polygon is my favorite one? That if you know me and familiar with my personality, you'll see me as that shape. Take a guess (my siblings aren't allowed to answer, we already discussed this yesterday) - I'll answer in the next post!
• I found this therapeutic trumpet meditation songs: Coulou (been listening to it while working) then I made some cute cat/bookish stickers randomly as well. I think it is opening a creative channel for me. I stopped drawing for so long, this week I made 2 stickers and drafted a client's project out of the sudden.
• Sofi's eid party.
• So, have you watched The Last of Us season 2? Ha. 
• I worked on another NZ project this week, had a fruitful 1:1 session with UB yesterday (amazing that it had been a month since the last time we spoke - I remember I cried that day and we talked about it) then she asked me what had happened since and I started listing all the good things worth mentioning. Also planning on learning another new software (with assignment - possibly share with a client)
• My first yoga test session, instructing my own teacher (possibly in bahasa)
• M2M - The Best Ending concert, my sister asked why M2M? It is because they were gone for almost 25 years, and suddenly they are back, this must be the one and only chance we have to appreaciate the moment when I can remember the whole cassette. So, why not. 
• Another family gathering I need to attend this weekend :F That's for next weekend.
• KLIF is next week, I'm going and I'm going to do a mini socializing session.

Preparing for next 1:1 with AR then off to Sofi's eid party.

Happy Friday!