I couldn’t do it—I’m just not ready to meet anyone this Raya, and I didn’t want to spend the whole week being a party pooper. I needed to go somewhere, distract myself, and do a lot of reflection. I thought about planning a family trip for Raya, but I just didn’t have the energy or mental space for something that big (and if you know us, you know I’m usually the planner, but this time, I just couldn’t). On top of that, I felt overwhelmed and wasn’t ready to deal with more drama.
They’re bitter about it, and I get it. It makes sense to feel upset—after all, it’s Raya, and once again, I left to focus on my own thing. But I really need you to understand that I just don’t have the mental or emotional capacity to pretend that I’m the same person, like nothing has changed. So I had to do this. And honestly, Raya has never really been my thing.
I’m not ready to give full context, so I’ll let you assume whatever you need to assume and leave it at that.
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Like the last trip, I planned it a month early. D'oa for me to be back safe, better, and refreshed ♥︎ I did some scheduled posts during this holiday, if you need to distract yourself by stalking some random blog on a Raya week, I'm here for you.
Enjoy your food, enjoy your family time.
Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir dan Batin.
For all the hurt, confusion, and uncomfortable emotions I may have caused.
I tried my best to give my best version, but being human with emotions is just, complicated.
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