On Learning How to Make a Meaningful Conversation:
It’s kind of like learning to dance with someone new. The first few steps? Awkward, fumbling, maybe even stepping on a few toes. You’re figuring out how your movements match, where the rhythm meets, how the space between you feels. A dance only flows effortlessly when both people contribute—it’s never a solo act.
And just like dancing, the more you practice with someone, the smoother it gets. Some duos just click on the first try—gliding effortlessly across the floor. That’s rare and magical, kan? Tapi, for the rest of us, who don’t exactly spend our weekends ballroom dancing, things can feel a little… clunky. Unsure when to lead, when to follow, or how to pick up the subtle cues.
And every time you step onto the floor with a new partner? It’s a reset. You start from scratch. Some people don’t even want to dance with you, some hesitate for a while, some love dancing but struggle when it comes to moving with someone else. Some charge ahead like professional leads, others prefer solo freestyle. There’s always this layer of openness—or resistance—that shapes the flow.
But here’s the thing: I’m not really talking about dancing. This is just how I’ve started to make sense of conversations lately.
I’m in this phase where I’m deliberately pushing myself out there, facing the weird little fear of connecting with others. And just like learning dance steps, it takes practice. Yesterday, it hit me—conversations and partner dancing? Kinda the same. Both require vulnerability, presence, and rhythm.
When I frame it this way, it all clicks. No wonder meaningful conversations can feel hard sometimes. I can swing between being super intense and honest or completely zoning out—it depends on the partner, the vibe, the moment.
Lately, I’m learning to be more intentional. To “practice the steps” beforehand, like thinking through what I’d like to know, what questions to ask, and how to make the interaction enriching for both of us.
Because maybe, just maybe, with enough practice, the awkward shuffle becomes a graceful dance.
My supervisor asked me; "What's about conversation that you feel you want to learn, because the scope is wide."
That also make me ask myself, "what do I feel I'm lack of and what do I want to improve?".
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It’s hard enough to reach other souls and lay your heart bare on a silver platter each time. Vulnerability can feel like walking into a storm without an umbrella. But then there’s D’s advice: “Don’t care too much.” As long as the message is clear and your heart’s in the right place—just do you. Don’t waste your energy worrying about sounding stupid, or fearing how others might judge your thoughts and feelings. Truth is, you’ll never know how they’ll react unless you try. And besides, people will judge anyway—it’s just what humans do.
I’ve found that advice surprisingly freeing.
So, I’m going to keep baring my soul when I need to. I’ll face the discomfort, the awkward pauses, the vulnerability. Because I’m not perfect, and that’s okay. Like any craft, connecting deeply takes practice.
It reminds me of Howl, giving Calcifer his heart, trading it for power—but losing touch with what made him soft, what made him feel. Without our hearts on display, how will we ever let someone meet us halfway?
To build something meaningful with others, you need to offer that heart—plated up, shining, scary as hell—but necessary. Honesty and openness are the lifeblood of real conversations.
So, I’ll keep extending my hand, inviting others to dance. And if they don’t take it? That’s fine too. Not every rhythm is meant to sync, but I’ll still show up, ready to try.
Happy Friday.
Glad to be back ♥
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