On Learning How to Make a Meaningful Conversation:
Just like learning how to dance with someone new, it will usually be awkward the first few times because you'll need to learn the steps, to feel how the body fits with each other, learn the movements and the flows, where both ends need to contribute to make the dance flow effortlessly. It is a two-person activity.
So the more we practice dancing with that person, the better it gets. Some people can dance the first time together and get everything flows effortlessly, that's beautiful - the chemistry feels divine, kan. Tapi for most of us that don't do that much dancing, they might feel slightly wonky, awkward, you don't know when you should do something, you don't know how to take the cues or take the lead.
Every time you dance with other partner, it is totally different, you will need to restart, and it is important to be open to learn about each other. Some people just don't want to dance with you, some people take a lot of time to be okay with the idea of dancing, some people love to dance but they don't know how to dance with a partner, some people love to lead a dance, some people feel awkward to dance with others but okay with dancing alone. You know, there is this level of openness.
I am not exactly talking about dancing, but that's how I relate to it in making sense to myself when I'm trying to have a meaningful conversation with people. I am at this stage where I have to make an effort to put myself out there and face the fear of connecting with people, and it needs a lot practice. So, I had this moment yesterday when I relate the similarities between making a conversation and having a 1-on-1 dancing session.
When I see it this way, it kinda make sense kan. Why having a conversation is actually hard (for me), I can be quite intense and honest, but I can also be totally out of it as well, depending on who I'm talking with. When they put me in this challenge, it make me think about how to make conversation more intentional, so I do need to make some sort of research beforehand, to think through what I want to know and ask, and how to make the conversation 'meaningful' for both of us.
My supervisor asked me; "What's about conversation that you feel you want to learn, because the scope is wide."
That also make me ask myself, "what do I feel I'm lack of and what do I want to improve?".
-
It is hard enough to reach to other souls and put your heart bare on a silver platter each time, but at the same time, as D put it; "Don't care too much", as long as you get the clarity and the message right, just do you. Don't focus on sounding stupid or ashamed of what/how you think/feel or assume what others might judge you for, because you will never know unless you try, plus, you can't ever stop people from judging you anyway.
I found the advice quite useful.
So, I'm going to bare my soul to reach others souls as much as I needed lah, and be okay with difficulties and challenges, because I am not perfect and this needs a lot of practice to be better with. You know how Howl gave Calcifer his heart in exchange of magical power, that also make Howl detached from any emotional attachments and his tendency to avoid relationship - because he got no heart?
Yes, putting your heart on a silver platter is needed to form a meaningful relationship, as being honest and open are needed in forming a good conversation. I guess I need to keep on trying until they accept my hands and try to have a dance with me. And if they don't, it is also fine.
Happy Friday.
Glad to be back ♥
