Little Story 233 : Currently Sick Again

I fell sick again, today is the 10th day and I finally can walk and sit at my desk. 

I've been bedridden for a week, feeling awful, feeling so weak I couldn't talk or eat solid food. I was just so weak. I cried during those hard times, when I was just laying down on my bed and couldn't think of anything other than feeling really exhausted. This isn't a normal exhaustion that will go away when I rest, it is just there, exhaustion, can't even think about anything. Everything was clouded by this.

Af helped me during these hard times, he did everything around the house (while working full time). He cooked, cleaned up the house, took care of Sofi and me. Everything. We brought his computer and desk to our bedroom so that I won't be alone all the time.

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My other symptoms are : heart palpitation, laboured breathing, hands shaking, feeling cold, bloated and nauseous. 

This is the continuation of the last incident in January. But we knew what was happening this time and we knew what to do. I started back on my recovery meals. Tried to consume everything good from the nature. Trying to survive feeling awful. Scared most of the time because my body wasn't cooperating.

I am setting up for a full body checkup this weekend. 

I hope it is nothing serious, or at least get an answer to all these.

Little Story 232 : Having a Strong Support System

It is important to have a strong support system. 

I feel like this is one of the bad side of being physically healthy almost all my life, I took my health and time for granted. I thought I don't really need a strong support system. 

https://unsplash.com/@jhvisuals_de

But when I fall sick, Af had to focus on taking care of Sofi and I was put on quarantine alone in different room. I was sick to the point that I can't do anything. We had to ask for my brother and his friend, we also had to contact my dad and stepmom for help as well (because they live near our house). 

They took care of everything. Brought me to the hospital, bought groceries, prepared recovery meals, advised me on stuffs. My mom and other siblings send us foods from afar because it is still the lockdown and they can't cross-the-border to visit. My dad and stepmom took turn to feed me foods and drinks when I was too unwell to feed myself, and I've never felt so low in my life.  

This incident taught me about what I've been taking for granted.

The good health, the strong body, the time and the energy. 

I'm grateful for my families and close friends, for my Patreon for the understanding and the supports. 18 days has passed, and I'm still slowly recovering. Last night and almost this whole morning I was bedridden, waiting for some energies to kick-in. I started my recovery meals back again after stopping yesterday (I thought I was well enough to have a normal day). 

But I'm not. 

I'm still weak, and I need to remind myself this. That my body needs time to heal, and it is okay to take it slow. 

Little Story 231 : The Game that Taught Me About Life

I started playing games on Apple Arcade last month (trial version).

While I was recovering, I tried Outlanders.

Basically Outlanders is a town-building simulation. You'll be the leader in a town, with your town people, resources and different goal for each level. Some leaders want to reach certain success, or population, etc. In the game, I am to decide which sector to focus on, to make sure the people are happy, enough foods and houses and also populating (as well as reaching the goal, of course). 

I am currently stuck at level 7 - Diana because it is so hard to meet the goal (which is to have at least 70 town people in less than 60 days with really limited resources. Tried it several times with different approaches and I am still failing).

I like the game and didn't like being stuck on level 7, so I decided to start sandbox level. Sandbox level is an isolated testing environment, you have no time constraints. 

I picked an island with lots of resources, started with limited population, and no goals. Just for the pure fun of playing a game.  

My island started nicely, resources were abundant, people are happy so they started populating. I had to spread my town people to collect more foods, and at the same time to cut more trees to make more houses and offer more jobs. Some people collect forest mushrooms, some people work at the mine, some people cut the trees and turn the logs into planks. At some point, I can't keep up with the increasing population, so forest foods are sometimes scarce, I had to cut more tree, turn the land into farms, collect veggies for foods and turn wheat into bread, for alternative food source. People aren't happy, so I built a tavern, and candy factory for the children. Population increases, babies are being born, people are dying from hunger and old age, a repetitive cycle. 

Everything is linked.

Forest mushrooms need tree to grow, human need tree to make houses. No houses mean people aren't happy, so they stop populating. Less trees means less food resources, so I need to build more farm for more foods. 

It never stop.

It was never enough.

My town people started from 4 people to more than 200 people. 

The once beautiful forest island turned into a busy town. 

No forest, no stones, no land. 

I felt sick.

This is what we are doing to the the world, isn't it.

We keep on wanting more, taking more from the earth's resources. 

More, more, more.

We are such a selfish beings. 

We don't give back to the earth, we don't take care of other creatures, animals lost their homes and foods, they are getting extinct, plants are dying, lands are limited. The climate change is real, and human, are still populating the earth, like we actually own it. 

I can't stop thinking about this since then.

Little Story 230 : I Fell Terribly Sick and I Want to Remember This

I am overwhelmed by the things that happened this past 2 weeks. 

I fell sick and here is my story :

• 19/1 - I had a hard time breathing, cold sweat, heart thumping.
• 20/1 - I took my 1st covid swab at a clinic near my house and tested negative.
• 23/1 - I had another attack (hard time breathing, that lead to exhaustion and I hyperventilated because I didn't know what was happening. Af called an ambulance, I was taken in, did all basic medical checkup : blood test, EKG, x-ray, and all came out okay. I even had to take pregnancy test - it was negative. I was discharged that night).
• 24/1 - The next day I was a bit too weak. I stayed bedridden the whole day, hardly eating because I was too weak. I was scared and too tired to do anything, breathing was hard, doing anything was hard. On bed the whole day.
• 25/1 - My condition got worse. I can't speak, I can't eat, my breathing was slow, but my heart was thumping hard. Fatigue. No one didn't know what to do, everyone was worried. They called an ambulance again. I was taken in, and had to do the same checkup. Took my 2nd covid swab test - negative. The doctor taught me how to control my breathing if the heart-thumping happens again and she reminded me to push myself to eat to recover.
• 26/1 - I started my recovery plan. I push myself to eat and drink the whole day (every 4 hours). I was still bedridden, but I can now eat liquid meals. Every time my heart thump hard, I try to meditate and focus on proper slow breathing. Still too weak the whole day.
• 27/1 - I got a bit stronger than days before. I started eating some solid meal. I went to the hospital again to take another covid swab test for my release from quarantine on the 30th. Heart thumping on random occasions, every time it happened, I laid down and focused on my proper breathing.
• 29/1 - Got my result, still negative covid. Still on recovery meals.
• 30/1 - Had my hospital's quarantine bracelet (gelang pink) removed. Tired on most occasions, resting a lot, still on my recovery meals.
• 31/1 - I swept the house for the first time since I first fell sick. I sat at my working table - just for 1/2 hour. I rested the whole day. Still weak on random occasions, still on recovery meals.  

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So these are the things that happened to me.

I fell sick. The worst one that I have ever felt, I was on ambulance twice, stayed at the hospital twice, hard to breathe, can't eat, can't speak, can't think, did 3 covid swab tests, felt like dying, didn't touch my husband or Sofi since then, bedridden for days, quarantined alone in my room, and recovering alone in my room.

It was really bad. I really felt like there was something huge happening.

Not sure what really trigger this. The doctor said everything during the checkups were normal. But I know I wasn't well and it wasn't just 'stress' or 'tiredness', because it can't be it.

But I was really pushing myself to recover, pushed myself to gain some energy T^T And I'm so grateful that things are okay now, that I'm recovering.

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Here are my recovery meals (almost every 4 hours) :

• Honey + warm water
• 1 spoon of virgin coconut oil
• Coconut water throughout the day (1 coconut per day)
• A bowl of blended soup (potato, meat, broccoli, tomato, +any mix veggies)
• Dates (kurma) / banana (whenever needed)
• 2 boiled eggs (in the morning)
• I glass of less sugar Milo (in the morning)

I've been eating/drinking this diligently. When I missed my meal by the hour, my hands will start shaking and I will start getting weak and tired. So I just had to push myself to consume these foods even if I don't feel like eating anything.

All these foods gave me strength and I'm sure it helped me recover fast from the fatigue.

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I've never felt this sick and weak ever before.

And it was terrifying.

But I'm recovering now and I am getting stronger. Please pray for my fast recovery and I hope you are in good health and please take a good care of your health (it's never too late to start a good diet and exercise).

Note : This post was taken from my Patreon post 2 days ago.

Pregnancy Story : FPP Experience in Putrajaya Hospital 2019

This is my FPP experience in 2019.

Full-paying patient or FPP is a program where we can choose to pay for a 1st class service with a choice of specialist in hand (copy-pasted from their website). I wanted to share about this because I researched a lot of blogs when I was pregnant with Sofi and I found the reviews were so useful. So here's my input :

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I chose the FPP program because I wanted to really have a spot at the hospital when the time comes and I wanted to choose my own specialist. It was my first pregnancy and everything was really scary, so I needed to have the comfort of knowing who would handle the delivery and I needed to have Af by my side (all the time). I can't imagine having to deal with it alone :F Heard a lot of stories about that from public hospital experiences. 

I made my first booking through the phone when my pregnancy reached the 2nd trimester. I made an appointment with the doctor of my choice; Dr Hamidah at Hospital Putrajaya. My first appointment was scheduled for May 2019 (my delivery was due in July 2020).

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First appointment: When we first came, we had to register as FPPatient (fill in a form) and make a payment of RM 235 (including registration, consultation, and scan). Then I had to take a number at the gynecologist counter and did a urine test. Then the waiting began. Meeting the doctor was quick (maybe around 10 minutes if you don't have many questions), updated her on my case, did a scan to check on the baby, and set for the next appointment. That's it - it took around almost 3 hours.

We did 3 compulsory checkups before the delivery date. 

38th week: I met my doctor and we decided on the procedure, the date, and the time to induce the baby - because I have gestational diabetes so we can't postpone or wait for long (everything needed to be planned). We decided to have a natural birth. 

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This is what happened on the day (based on my previous post) :

When we reach Hospital Putrajaya :

• I registered (it was at midnight)
• The nurses asked me to change to their hospital clothes
• They took some blood, checked my pulse, and put something like a belt on my tummy to check the baby's heart rate and my contraction level (the nurse mentioned that my contraction was really intense and how was I holding up ? - it was mostly around 80%+ )
• It was late at night, so there wasn't any doctor around except an intern. 2 intern doctors tried to do a vaginal examination on me and weren't sure how dilated I was =.= ( It was around 1 cm ). 
• I was admitted and sent to a room (shared with another woman with a newborn baby). Af came to the room later with my bags.
• I didn't sleep much, it was an intense night. My contractions were strong and long, I remember holding on to AF, tears falling down on my cheek without I realized I was crying, silently. I guess I was in pain.
• Morning came, and I was exhausted. The nurse checked my blood pressure and my contraction level. The nurse asked me to walk around the corridor, so I spent the morning walking. 
• At 3 p.m., I finally met my doctor. She did another vaginal examination, it was only 3 cm. I'm not sure if I'm right, but she had to do a 'membrane sweeping' to help induce the labor. In this procedure, the doctor wore a glove and swept the inside of the cervix in a circular motion to stretch it out. It was so painful. This was the most traumatic moment during my whole stay at the hospital. I cried afterward because I felt somewhat abused (by the procedure). Later I decided to take an epidural as the doctor suggested because the doctor said that "the delivery will be much much worse than that pain that you just felt". Hah.
• Things moved fast after 3 pm, I was already 24 hours into contraction. They took me for an epi and prepared me, I waited in the labor room shaking (because I was cold due to the epi and had really strong surges), they also gave me something on a drip to induce the labor and they broke my water as well. Most of the time I was just trying to follow the surges. Already too tired to function, I haven't eaten for so long. Oh, was the Epi shot painful? Not so - for me. I'm used to taking shots because I donated blood many times. 
• At 8 p.m., the doctor came. I think Sofi came out in less than 10 minutes *with the doctor's help. She vacuumed the head because I was losing it. I became too tired, I knew to push when they asked me to push, but I didn't know how far I go - with Epi, I don't really feel the piercing pain, just a lot of painful pressure.
• By the time they put Sofi on my tummy and she cried, I was too tired, I couldn't open my eyes. 
• They took Sofi out to clean her, and Af was asked to wait outside. He said he probably waited for 30 - 60 mins, he wasn't sure. I delivered the placenta, and the doctor stitched and cleaned me up. I can't remember much because I was groggy but I was awake for the whole procedure.
• I didn't see her again until they cleaned us up, then the nurse passed Sofi to Af for him to sing iqamat to her and passed it to me so I could 'try' to breastfeed her (guided but it was so hard). 
• Then I was wheeled to my room back with Sofi in my hand :D

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About money :

First appointment: RM 235 (including registration, consultation, and scan)

Monthly checkup consultation fees: RM 100 or RM 60 for the repeat cases, and maybe more if you need to do a checkup scan.

You'll need to put in a deposit of RM 3,000 upon your admission, be ready if there are extra fees that you'll need to pay once you are released, and don't worry you'll get back the balance if it doesn't reach RM 3,000.

Normal delivery : RM 1,200 - RM 3,000

Caesarean : RM 3,500 - RM 4,900

I checked the detailed receipt and here's the information if you are curious about the payment, I was curious when I was pregnant and I was really worried if it would go over our budget. But it didn't.

During the hospital stay :

Admission fees: RM 10

First class (double beds): RM 300 per day x 2 = RM 600

Labor room delivery: RM 250

Consum/disposables: RM 84.60

Pharmacy: RM 94.30

Consultation fees (ward visit): RM 60 x 3 = RM 280

Consultation fees (ward visit) - after office hours: RM 120 x 3 = RM 360

Procedure :

Cardiotocograph : RM 30 x 2 = RM 60

Cervical ripening (sweep & stretch) = RM 30

Epidural: RM 300

Vacuum delivery: RM 750 

Full Blood Count - Follow up: RM 30 

Total: RM 2,748.90 

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About the room :

We didn't choose the room, I think they just put us by availability at that time. When I was admitted that night, I got the double-bed twin room with a personal toilet that I shared with another lady with a newborn baby. We hardly see each other because of the curtain, so we had privacy during the whole agonizing night. 

Sure, it was comfortable and Af could even stay and sleep next to me on the chair. But we didn't rest much because of the contractions. So the staying experience was a bit blurry in my memory. Now that I can think about that back, I realize that what we had was pretty comfortable. Love the privacy, the personal toilet, the space, and the calm environment. The nurses were always there outside our room. I forgot about the food because those parts are also a bit blurry. The best part was Af, he could stay with me almost all the way (except when I had procedures before the delivery and also some checkups ).

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Pro :

• You can choose your specialist who will be handling you throughout the pregnancy, delivery, and post-delivery
• First class ward - I can't compare because it was my first experience staying in a hospital but my KK experience kinda warned me about the public hospital :F 
• Your husband can stay with you through the night
• You can choose your procedure, and the doctors will guide you. 
• Great services, nice doctors and nurses. They will guide and help you when needed.
• You can choose for female specialist if she is not fully booked. 
• Oh, people mentioned that you can pick your food - yes, there are some options to choose from, but when I stayed there, food wasn't my priority at all. I can't remember much about the food. 

Cons :

• Every single thing will be charged in full, but it is not as expensive as compared to private hospitals. So if you have the budget, go for it. 
• No children below 12 - so if you have other children, they can't visit you.
• You need to book early, good timing is when you just entered the second trimester

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How to :

• 'Walk in' or enquire at the FPPS counter
• Call them: 03-83124316
• Sending email: hpj_info@hpj.gov.my

Note: I called them when my pregnancy reached the second trimester, asked them questions, chose a specialist, and agreed to book an appointment when my pregnancy reached the third trimester. You need to book it early to ensure that you'll have a spot. You need to know your estimated due date (edd) as well - it is needed to set your date of appointment. 

Books : My 2020 Book Challenge

My goal is 33 books but I finished 50 books instead !

Image by Darwin Vegher

I'm still on Scribd this year and I've been listening/reading to digital books like in the previous years. I don't buy physical books anymore (except for Murakami's Killing Commandatore this year and books for Sofi). 

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Here is the list of books that I enjoyed this year :

1. Breast and Eggs by Mieko Kawakamo
2. The Magic of Motherhood by Ashlee Gadd (I cried and laughed listening to this - it is very relatable in this phase)
3. Kintsugi Wellness by Candice Kumai
4. Kim Jiyoung Born 1982 by Cho Nam-Joo
5. Severance by Ling Ma
6. This was Our Pact by Ryan Andrews
7. The Extraordinary Life of Sam Hell by Robert Dugoni 
8. How to Fail by Elizabeth Day

There are some notes about this reading challenge that I want to point out (for me to remember in the future) :

• In the first half of 2020 I didn't read that much and most books that I listened to were boring (that was why I was a bit demotivated), I think I started listening and reading again after July. 
• Listening to The Tattooist of Auschwitz and Cilka's Stories by Heather Morris made me open my eyes to the brutality of war and how human is just so, disappointing.. I am grateful to be living in such comfort and having things just enough, but knowing that there are places that still in war makes me reminding myself over and over that this lockdown and Covid situation is near to nothing compared to what they are dealing with at this moment. 
• I enjoyed The Extraordinary Life of Sam Hell so I started listening to Robert Dugoni's Tracy Crosswhite's series (added 7 more books in the list - can't remember the last time I read a long series) - I enjoyed this experience so much because I feel like I've been with Tracy Crosswhite along the way while she was growing up (and now she's in her middle age - her series is still continuing, I haven't read the latest one). 
• I think this year I am focused on finding myself in between motherhood and career. So I've been reading several fictions and non-fictions related to that. Breast and Eggs, Kim Jiyoung Born 1982 and even A Lover's Discourse and more mother/parenthood-related books. Being a mother put me in an odd place that I'm still adapting so I'm trying to figure out what I'm feeling and where I am in this situation. These books have been an eye-opening experience. 
• Severance by Ling Ma is a reminder on how bad the post-apocalyptic world can be. It's a satire, dark humour. It felt like a real life (considering we are in the middle of a pandemic and that doesn't mean there's zombies needed in a fiction to make it valid as post-apocalyptic world). Good read during a pandemic.  
• Note : I love first person narration. I think it is the best way to analyze or observe human's emotion or feelings. Even though it might be fiction, but it still came from a person and I love being connected in such intimate way with the writer. We can't exactly know how people feel based on just looking at their outer presentation, but in writings, it's just there like an open book and ready to be consumed. 

The book list that I read/listened to this year is here. There are books that I didn't enjoyed or finished as well (the ones that I didn't finished are not in the list though). 

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If you are like me and currently in the phase of searching for yourself since you've become a mother, you can read these books :

1. Breast and Eggs by Mieko Kawakamo
2. The Magic of Motherhood by Ashlee Gadd
3. Kim Jiyoung Born 1982 by Cho Nam-Joo
4. How to Fail by Elizabeth Day
5. Finding Chika by Mitch Albom

It doesn't help you 'find' the meaning or anything significant, it is just various stories shared by parents - as parents, we all know that it is hard and maybe we don't really say it aloud in fear of looking like we are ungrateful being. But it is hard, and yes, we will always need help to understand that we aren't alone in this. 

Let's hope I finish as many books (or more) next year !

Little Things 245 - After Midnight

Remember my previous curated playlist on Spotify called Wandering Soul ? 

Well I made a new one since Sofi and I called it After Midnight. 

I used this picture I found by @michellisphoto , so it is not mine, all credit to her :

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There is a phase that started post-pregnancy while I was still heavily hormonal and mildly depressed perhaps due to post-partum depression, stress and recovery. So the playlist started with a song that I listened-to while I was having a wild contraction in the middle of the night. The night that we didn't sleep and I was in constant pain. 

It was a wild night. 

It was a start of a new phase in my life, and I always come back to that night, the night that changed me.

And throughout the playlist I just added to the playlist, whatever songs that I found that were nice to listen to after midnight. Honestly I no longer sleep late, I'm in my 30s now, I don't do midnights anymore. But it is always nice to remember those life we left behind :)

My soul still speaks in written words and mellow melodies, so I can't help myself, even though I am turning 34 soon, I still enjoy songs and make playlist. It's the best reminder of the phases in my life. Af doesn't share the likings in music as I do, he doesn't hear lyrics or melodies, he doesn't put memories in songs, he doesn't even hum or let alone sings :F I's hard to explain to him, so I think I just write this down for me. 

Review : Bookxcess Book Haul (Dec 2020)

Right after I got my payment this month I made an online order from Bookxcess !

I ordered more picture books for Sofi since she started another phase of flipping-through all her picture books all day (especially before sleep at night). She flips-through it all repeatedly, even though she hasn't started talking yet (she is now 1 yr 4 mo). But she always push the books in my face so I could act / sing / read out for her - repeatedly as well. I would try to enjoy this repetition as much and as patient as I can before she starts to read them all by herself ok :F

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These are all the books from the latest order :

These are all her worn-out books since the last book haul :

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About the order :

It only took around 12 hours for the books to arrive, I was a bit surprised by how fast it was for the order to be processed and arrived. I fully recommend buying from Bookxcessonline. 

So their latest offer (for Dec 2020) is free shipping with the minimum purchase of RM 80, and you can get a lot of picture books from Bookxcess with RM 80 :D I bought 5 books : 

• 4 picture books (Rm 15 - RM 18 each) - these are hard cover, fully coloured, picture books
• 1 non-fiction (RM 19.90) - Achtung Baby by Sara Zaske

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All the books from Bookxcess :

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How to choose books for baby/toddler (below 2 yrs old) :

• Start with picture books
• Books related to their familiar nursery rhymes 
• Hard cover with hard-cardboard / fabric pages (no papers yet)
• Easy to relate - animals, normal items in the house, transportation

Sofi loves nursery rhymes : Itsy Bitsy Spider, Row Your Boat, Old McDonald. 

So even if you have picture books with animals in it (and not nursery rhymes), you can point to the animals and sing the nursery rhymes yourself (like pointing to the monkey for "5 little jumping monkeys", ducks for "5 little ducks", cows for "Old McDonald", shark for "Baby Shark" etc. She expects me to sing whenever she points something to me.

I'm surprised by her interest in books - I thought it would be much complicated compared to toys. 

PS : I started reading to her when she was 3 months old, and she started showing interest in the books by herself by 9 months - but no more reading to her, she got no patience for that, only songs and sounds nowadays.

Little Story 230 : Another Case of Muscle Strain and Stiff Neck

I tried Panadol Extend twice, I don't think it worked or maybe it did, but the pain didn't subside. I wore the neck brace when I can, but mostly not because it gives me rashes. I tried some light stretches, tried to loosen up, but I'm still in so much pain so I had to check my blog to see how I'd handled this situation before because I know this is not the first time, nor the second or the third.

In my previous post about the same situation (I wrote this post in 2015), I went to see a doctor and I got pain killers and muscle relaxer. I stopped writing about it after the 4th day, so I'm not sure how long it lasted. Probably almost a week based on my old posts. 

Today is the fourth day.

I'm still in so much pain.

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This happens a lot of time, I think by far I've had 3-5 incidents and I can't even remember if Af had any of these at all. My body is really fragile, my muscles, my bones, my teeth, I'm just physically fragile and for someone that have a strong will on life and love to work, this can be a bit annoying. 

I had to rest and do nothing. 

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Update for my future reference:

• Day 5 : The pain is still as bad as the first 4 days, but it gets worst only after physical activities : like eating, or sitting. Some muscles were loosen up, I can now move my hands up and do stretches, I can yawn as well.
• Day 6 : The worst pain subsided, left with only sharp pain on some points alongside my head and neck. I can now look to the left and right slowly. I think my body needs another day of rest to heal (but it's work day). I started drinking coffee again. I'm also started working again on the 6th day, so I need to remind myself to do stretches every 1/2 hour instead of get carried away on work.
• Day 7 : The pain is almost gone, only sore muscles alongside the neck and shoulder. I'm glad this is over.  

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I usually try to avoid drugs, so here's some things that can help with sore muscles and inflammation :

• Chamomile / green tea
• Turmeric (I take 1 teaspoon of turmeric powder every morning) , ginger powder also can !
• Banana / watermelon
• Cocoa ! (But need a good recipe for this one, it's really bitter)
• Protein-based foods
• Ice pack on the first 2 days to reduce inflammation, hot pack on the later days to heal faster
• Rest, rest really helps

Tooth Story - the Root Canal Treatment & the New Crown

When I'm started writing this, I already finished my third root canal treatment. 

All these happened in around 6 weeks, the treatment was once a week. 

I came to the clinic in May 2020 for a consultation at a private dental clinic, right after they changed PKP to PKPB. If money is a big issue (since the MCO), then why did I went to a private clinic? It was because my right molar was broken, it was a huge one, it was broken before Sofi was even here, I was heavily pregnant during that time and having a major dental treatment wasn't advisable. So I waited for almost a year to deal with this. Even the old crown was now missing. So I needed a new one, and I needed one fast because my gum became sensitive and it felt more and more uncomfortable. But thank God I was never in pain.  

I knew if I went to KK, the doctor will just remove the molar completely because it was too big, the molar was problematic since I was in school and it was broken for the third time (if I'm not mistaken). It wasn't even a hole anymore, just a huge remaining to put a crown on. So the option at KK would be : remove the molar or a root canal treatment (scheduled probably next year). I couldn't wait that long anymore. 

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The Root Canal Treatment fees :

• Consultation - RM 50
• 1st treatment - RM 300
• 2n treatment - RM 300
• 3rd treatment - RM 300 + RM 100 (for small molar filling next to the broken molar)

The new crown :

• RM 800 (payment divided into 2 sessions)

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The pain :

During the treatment I was shot with a mild anaesthetic that numb my right jaw, so I hardly feel pain. Maybe only once or twice during the treatment when the doctor put some chemical to kill the nerve (?) because it was a strong one, or during the shot itself when he started the treatment. Most of the time I felt uncomfortable, closing my eyes helped me avoid the unnecessary pain of imagination. Holding something also helped calming me down.

After the first treatment, later that evening when the anaesthetic wore off, I did feel pain. It was hard to eat, I made porridge and even that was hard to eat. But it was still mild to moderate level of pain. They gave me pain killer but I didn't need it because it was manageable. The next two treatments was not painful at all. 

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The Duration :

• Root canal treatment : The first treatment was the longest one, probably around 30-40 minutes, the 2nd treatment was around 10-15 minutes and the third one was around 20-30 minutes.  
• Putting on a new crown : Just uncomfortable, the first session was to make a mould of my new fake molar, it took awhile (maybe around 20 minutes ?), and the doctor put a temporary filling so it won't be exposed for a week - I had to use my left side to chew and avoid the right side. The next session is when the doctor put the new crown (also around 20 minutes). 
• That's it

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A lot of things happened during the treatment, it was scary to be the one lying down for sure. But the pain level were mild, it was mostly uncomfortable. So if you need one, just go and deal with it because the longer you wait, the worse treatment you'll be needing.

I think having a filling done to the next molar was more painful than the whole root canal treatment itself because the nerve is still viable. The doctor mentioned that I have a start of a new small holes that needed fillings on my left molars and wisdom tooth. He reminded me to get them done soon =.= 

I felt disappointed. I've been taking a good care of my dental hygiene since I was in school (meaning that I brush my teeth twice - never missed, I floss, and I use mouthwash). Sure they are all straight and even all my wisdom teeth came out at the right places but my teeth are so weak. This keep on happening =.= Now all 5 out of 6 of my lower molars got fillings and 1 crown. 

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By the time I finished writing this, several months passed after the treatments.

I still feel uncomfortable with the new molar, I'm not sure what. It is not pain, just a tingling feeling inside the root (different than before). The doctor said that the nerve is no longer functioning so I shouldn't feel pain or anything, I'm not sure what this feeling is. 

Well, I survived a root canal treatment in 2020 and it wasn't that bad.