Kadang-kadang I’m not sure how to do this parenting thing. Growing up, I was in quite a stressful environment where I didn’t really get to express myself. Looking back, I realize I learned to make myself small and invisible, too scared to create friction or drama. I developed this toxic habit of hiding in my cave.
So every time Sofi tests a boundary or tries to express herself, I find myself questioning what the right approach is. Do I limit her expression and create firm rules, or do I let her test things and learn through consequences? She’s at the age of trying out what she sees around her, experimenting with autonomy, learning how to express herself. With limited vocabulary and emotional awareness, rebellion can easily become her language.
And I remember, when I was growing up, I didn’t get the chance to be seen at all.
I wonder what the right mix is in shaping her personality, because every small influence wires her brain, at least during these formative years. But maybe the real work is not about controlling the mix. Maybe it’s about teaching her how to regulate her emotions, to name what she feels, and guiding her to process them. Hopefully, she will slowly grow into the best version of her own self. Kan. That’s something I only learned in my 30s, and I wish I had learned it sooner.
I don't know.
She’s still at that age where she says, “Thank you, Mami. I love it.”
And that warms my heart everytime, because I still struggle to express something that simple.
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