Compilation Post : End of the Year 2024

Let's continue with the yearly personal wrap-up that I've been doing since 2017. In 2024, I made a small vision board, and on this vision board, I wrote a list of things that I wanted to do/achieve. I did achieve more than half of it by the end of 2024, but it was pretty slow earlier on. So, I'm pushing the things that I did not achieve this year to next year and hopefully, I will complete them then. I won't share it here because it is a bit personal, but here's the generic version of things I usually share by the end of each year.

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On Books ✦

This year is a good book year. My best friends were books, I spent so much time with books in general, I went to the library every so often, bought some books, and borrowed some more. I spent my loneliest time with books, trying to understand the poignant part of living - macam they can somehow help me understand things, thus explaining why I read books that evoke hard feelings.

I consumed 47 books from Jan - Oct, and stopped reading once I started working full-time, it was a nice bookish journey.

Here are my top 5 books:

• The Days of Abandonment by Elena Ferrante
• The White Castle by Orhan Pamuk
• Please Look After Mom by Kyoong-Sook Shin
• Greek Lesson by Han Kang
• Beauty and Sadness by Yasuwari Kawabata

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On Living ✦ and Surviving

Ugh, this year has been a total disaster. Fell into a hole, stuck in there for a while, struggled to get going, and went into a very sad, anxious, and depressed phase. Finally, I worked things out, made changes, and forced myself to be more flexible, adapted, and more resilient, I guess, but in return, I got bitter as well. 

Oh, I hate being bitter, but that's the way my life is going at this moment, and I'm finding joy and love in other things, trying out new things, exposing myself to new environments, meeting new people, challenging my way of doing things and just try to enjoy living. I need good vibes, people. Shower me with good vibes, I just can't do ugly vibes at this point. I think I deserve a break, I finally came out of the hole kan, and it's been more than 2 years.

So, I'm trying my best to just focus on good energy.

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On Work ✦

I don't want to jinx this, but I love my new job, and I love the team and the vibes and the things that they are doing. They are just shooting good vibes from all sides and I am openly showing my vulnerable side upfront in hopes of getting more support from wherever I can. T^T Like, "Please adopt me, everyone, I need your love and support, no pressure" - I'm ready to put in the effort in growing my circle because life will always be shitty every once in a while (or all the time - depending on where you are right now), so if you could have one thing, have a good support system that can be there for you. 

I'm done doing things alone. 

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On health and moving ✦

Yes, compared to where I was in early 2024 and now. I am in much better health, mentally and physically. I can run, and I manage my stress and anxiety better, sure I run a lot, but at least I'm not spiraling anymore. The weight didn't improve, probably because I ran a lot, but whatever works lah. 

I'm good, Alhamdulillah, I'm in a much better state. I can sleep better as well (ps: magnesium spray!)

Total Distance: 244 km

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On making friends ✦

I reconnected with an old friend about a month ago and was as nervous as I would when I cared too much. We met, and we exchanged old stories, and later, we followed each other on IG. One morning, I noticed that I was blocked and unfollowed. There must be reasons for this to happen just a month later kan, I know, I know, I knooow, but I am very insecure about making connections with people because I have my "issues", so I cried macam budak kesian, this felt too much like school. I care, I care, I stupidly, insecurely care, and I can tell 1001 feel-good things to my own ears, but at the end of the day, I still care anyway. 

Then I sweated it off with a 13km session because it was just a bit too painful, how else do you healthily manage a roller-coaster emotional ride other than to sweat it off. Well, I could just simply ask, but at this age, why would we force something that isn't wanted.

This year is a very odd year where I accidentally met a lot of people that I know from my past. 

But that's ok, I'll try to make new friends (like I will make an effort again, I promise I will try next year!)

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On being vulnerable ✦

I will always try my best to be upfront with my vulnerable side, I wear it on my sleeve because we are human with flaws anyway. Some people just choose to pick the happy beautiful side to focus on and only share that on social media, I totally get it. But at the end of the day, the darker shades of emotions are still there with you in the shadow, and those, too, are YOU. I choose to bring both to the table even if they make people uncomfortable. 

You need to be humbled by life to understand that pain will always be here, and it is totally ok to accept and befriend it like a bitter friend. I'm ok with being imperfect. 

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Coming into 2025 ✦

If life could be about one thing, I want it to be about spreading love and more positive vibes to people. So, let's bring it to the table.

Let's welcome 2025 and I hope you have had a blast! .𖥔 ݁ ˖