Little Stories 276 : Two Weeks In - Feb

Didn't feel like writing :F

Work-wise:

February is mostly a work month - I'm "supposedly" working full-time with 2 companies. The agency that tried to sue me because I signed a contract but I canceled on working with them before the date started (in Nov) and also the fintech that has been offering me a full-time position since July last year but has not yet given me a proper contract to sign half a year later. Like I said before, career-wise, it is an odd phase for me. I can't say for a fact that I am working officially for anyone - but, yes, I am working unofficially for them. Because of that, I can work 2 jobs right now, both remotely, but double the stress, and time. 

I thought I'd be having a small celebratory holiday for finishing all the client's projects in Dec, maybe going somewhere, but no, I had to continue sitting in front of the screen every day (even on weekends and public holidays). I can't even have my weekly walk. Ok lah, maybe because I'm just a bit physically and mentally drained right now, so I'm a bit bitter. 

Just tired, so I don't have the energy to sit and write. 

I don't even listen to books.

And I wake up at 2-3 am every night. That one time, I woke up at 1 am and couldn't sleep afterward. Can you imagine the stress that I'm dealing with - I'm probably in my unhealthiest condition right now because I'm really bad at managing my stress. I looked old, I feel much older. I'm not in my content phase, so I got disassociated from life a lot. 

That's why I don't write. 

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The Small Socializing:

I met Ms Chin again for the latest life updates. Been a while since I last met her, and we had a looong chat. Then we met up with Ma and the siblings (because it had been almost a month since we last met Ma), cooking sessions, balik Nilai, and lepak2 at my brother's. Simple socializing activities with the family. 

The pictures in order:

1. The over-priced 3-hrs breakfast.
2. Syabu-syabu session at Ma's - during the first weekend. I watched the emo-batman (Robert Pattinson version) that weekend and ate ice cream. Never thought I would enjoy the movie. 
3. Unplanned lunch at my brother's - I didn't expect a fancy lunch when he invited me, I thought it was something simple like nasi goreng.

Last weekend, during the CNY holiday - we had a brunch session at my brother's house. I woke up early to make mushroom/cauliflower soup at home. Then we went to my brother's to help with the cooking and prepping. It's cool that we can all work together in the kitchen now seamlessly. It didn't even feel like a chore but more like a family activity that we all seemed to enjoy. 

Tried practicing chess again after I left it in the school years, but can't seem to focus. 

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Here's a selfie of the day I woke up at 1 am and couldn't sleep back again even after 2 hours of tossing and turning. I promise to manage my stress better this year so that I can sleep better again - this is probably a cry for help from my stressed mind. I should start running again, but I'm just too tired to do anything else:

Note: All in all, I'm just a bit overworked and stressed out about my life in general. Like everyone else on the planet, I am just struggling to find the balance. But I'm grateful, always, because I am not depressed, and my will to live is still burning - it is just not perfect lah. No one's life is perfect kan. 

How are you so far?