Okay. Let me let it out in the maya (because I need to let this out to free up the burden of talking alone in my head, did I forget how I manage the last 15 years - I've been writing to the invisible people in the internet as a coping mechanism kan). Plus, lately it's been mentally hard to survive one more waking day. I'm not depressed yet, just really stressed out, surviving. And I don't have friends, so I need a channel to express.
Anyway, random sharing session.
Last week I went out twice to focus on work. I've never left Sofi for work in the past 3 years+ so this is a start. I searched for any coworking space in the area but couldn't find one suitable for me so I spent 4 hours sitting in my brother's cafe, finishing up my first draft for the Noko project I'm currently working on. I even brought my own matcha powder and soy milk (so my brother can make it for me - I'm lactose intolerant and I can't drink coffee anymore). Oh, I also already cooked foods in advance for the 2 days I'm away for work.
4 hours of uninterrupted working hour is a bliss. I forgot what it feels like, to focus solely on your task alone (I've been working while trying to take care of a toddler, so you can imagine if you tried doing that, not impossible - just chaotic).
Then after the 2 days of working, I went out to socialize (for the first time in a loooooong time). I went out with Ms Chin, we watched Where the Crawdads Sing, we walked, we ate ramen, we chatted, after Ms Chin went back, I sat at a cafe for another 1 hour to continue on another client project. It's like, I actually have a life outside being a mother to a toddler. I forgot what it felt like.
The two things I bought when I went out that day were Muji's open-flat notebook for me to start writing a proper journal to manage my stress + anxiety, and also a croissant.
Next : one more thing I want to do is spent few hours at Kinokuniya. My current physical book wishlist : Hanya Yanagihara's To Paradise and Nell Stevens' Briefly, A Delicious Life in small paperback version. The 2 times we went to Kino, Sofi didn't even give me a chance to browse through and decided to play run and tag in the maze of books.
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Well, it is then decided that I'm going to send Sofi to a play-school next year and I'm going to start working full-time again (because I'm getting ready for the recession). She's finally potty-trained (except at night when sleeping and for poopoo - still refuses to take it out in the loo). And she can't wait to make friends and have a teacher, so I guess she's ready to socialize. She's a total opposite of us, so we had to provide what we can't offer ourselves.
Okay I just put Sofi to nap and reread the draft for the final time before clicking on publish.
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