Month's ago I posted this.
I'm reading Orhan Pamuk's The Museum of Innocence. I didn't start with his famous My Name is Red or Snow. I picked up the book just because I was afraid of buying other Orhan's novel. I assumed it would be difficult for me, considering he won a Nobel Prize before. When I read the synopsis, it mentioned Love. As far as I know, even how difficult a novel can be, romance is the easiest genre for us to feel connected as a reader, hence, it reduces the lengthy complicated words into something more, simple.
When one feels connected, everything makes sense.
But, it is more about obsession than love. I'm not exactly keen on the subject of a man's obsession towards the love of his life that married someone else. Maybe I am destined to read this book, to understand, to know and accept certain views, so I'm trying my best to be open with it.
For weeks, I've been reading short chapters from the novel.
Even while I'm writing this, I just read half of it. One third of the book was about the early part of the relationship, I'm guessing the rest of it are the aftermath, the obsession, the pain and humiliation. All the dreary parts in beautiful written literature.
What is it about unrequited love that turns man's life into chaos that jeopardize everything, when he has so much in life already? I don't understand.
*Contains spoiler :
The man was in love with someone he's about to be married to, and he met someone else, young, carefree, and innocent. He fell in love and he wanted to be married with his fiance and still be in a secret relationship with this girl. He wanted both. I don't understand his blindness towards what he is causing to them both. I don't understand his selfishness. I don't understand how when his fiance was trying her best to win him back when the young girl left him, he couldn't see what's in front of him, he fell into depression, he gave up on his business and friends and secluded himself, until at one point, his fiance left him.
I know what it felt like to not be with the person you love. I know the pain and emptiness, those thousands what-ifs, the empty hollow in the back of your heart, the dim future, those too much tears shed for someone that wasn't worth it, well I know. And so what, so what if it's painful? So what if we can't have it all? Life still goes on. Do you think anyone would stop just because you feel like your life had already ended? No. Obsession, in any other word is still obsession. Because if you love someone so much, you'll be ready to let go to see them happy, even if you are not.
My dad once said, "you cannot have everything in life, what you have, you cherish and accept, what you don't have, you can learn to let go".
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