Kenangan.

Kita mungkin mampu pandang belakang
dan teringat balik semua kenangan silam
belajar dari kesilapan
berjanji takkan terjatuh semula ..
Tapi kadang-kadang,
apa yang kita ingat kita mampu lari
dan lupakan tu,
akan datang balik,
tarik kita sekali lagi,
untuk turut jatuh bersama, kembali..

Siapa kata kita kuat?
Siapa kata kita lemah?
Semuanya dalam diri sendiri.
Yang dikejar tu kita.
Yang mengejar tu juga kita.
Tanya diri sendiri, sampai bila?

Kami.

I watched all seven episodes of Kami, a new project by Red Films. I visited their homepage, it's interesting and unique. What makes them different from other production companies is, of course, their creativity and uniqueness. They stand out from the typical Malay series I’ve seen on TV, not like Sembilu or Gerak Khas.

These are more like Gol & Gincu or Impian Illyana, beautiful design, colourful graphics, things like that. Nice storyline. Not too much drama-for-the-sake-of-drama, but showing real-life issues. I mean Kami, not the other series.

Even though it’s probably more reflective of life in KL rather than other parts of Malaysia. KL lifestyle. Because, obviously, I know I’m not like that. My school isn’t like that. My friends aren’t like that… heh.

So basically, the series is about friends, life, and music interests, people struggling to keep on living. No matter what they’ve been through in the past, they try to forget it and live a new life.

I’m not going to judge anything just from watching this series. Just because they speak in KL slang, go to gigs, show scenes with drugs and other stuff like that. That’s life. I know there will be reviews in the newspapers later, saying we shouldn't make stories like this because it sets a bad example, drugs, social life, stealing, etc.

Malaysians really love to complain, I’m aware of that. But I think we should see it from a different perspective, what they’re actually trying to show us. Every “bad” act shown in the story eventually leads to a consequence. If you notice. There’s a moral value in that.

So before judging, I think we should really think deeply. Not just main-lepas-cakap. Please, think. Don’t just complain.

Like the issues with Yasmin Ahmad’s films. Her movies always get so many critiques. We’re so quick to see the negative parts, but too blind to notice what she’s actually trying to show us.

So please, think before you judge things.

A dream..

Last week, I finally owned a DSLR, using my money, plus my mom’s money and my siblings’ sponsorship. I was excited. I read the whole manual. I read reviews from users all around the world (I mean, online), and started learning the techniques.

This is my first time holding a DSLR, so of course I’m excited. I bought the Nikon DSLR D40, which cost around RM2k. I know the D40 isn’t a really great camera, but I guess it’s good for a beginner like me. A new learner. A student. Who needs to pay apartment rent every month and is literally dieting to save money for a dream.

Basically, it isn’t that bad. I’ll do a lot of experiments later and become a professional photographer, even though I don’t have a degree in this. I’m learning it by myself. This should be exciting.

Typical..

Sometimes in life, all I want is to be a typical person, with a typical family and a typical life. Just so-and-so. Not different. Not trying to be normal. Just living every day in a normal life, in a normal environment.

Sometimes I envy people like that. They don’t realize how thankful they should be. But hey, who likes to be called typical? Each and every one of us wants to be different and unique. Hmm. Even though I try my best to bring something different, to let people remember who I am… at the same time, I’m struggling to keep myself on the right path. A normal person.

I think too much.
I care too much.
I care too little.
I focus on things too deeply.
I ignore things completely.

I’m this. I’m that.
Keep changing. Keep trying to maintain being myself.
Not shutting out everything outside my circle.

I’m trying.
I’m making an effort.
Every single day.

I know people say “just be yourself,”
but I don’t think being myself is a good idea...

Sometimes I wish I were a typical person.
Single-minded, simple, carefree.

But I guess I’m not like that.
I’m creating myself, based on the experiences in life.

Hmm... This is who I am.
A person who is struggling to be someone typical.

Oh speech~

So, I did my speech on Heroism at 2:50 PM today. Huhu~ Being the first person... hmm, the feeling was quite different. I was kind of too anxious about the expectations, and I did try to calm down. I dunno how bad I turned out today. 8 minutes++, and I did skip one small paragraph, ehehe. My recorded time was actually 9 minutes++.

When we’re too busy calming ourselves, the ideas kind of slip away and turn upside down. From remembering everything to suddenly needing to constantly glance at the notes I wrote. Ah well… mine is over.

I’m waiting for this coming Wednesday, when I get to watch my friends present their speeches, yeay~ Even though I missed watching Raj, Hisyam, Komet, and Azmi today. Huhu. Rugi jeh.

Starting again.

Assalamualaikum.

Ah well, I've been wanting to continue writing a blog since last year. I dunno what happened to me, stopped writing blogs, diaries, expressing, arguing. It's not good. Really. Because this is my way of expressing. I'm not really a person who likes to talk when shooting off my feelings. I'd rather write and let people who are interested read it (if they want to).

And I know some of my friend want to read it only to criticize my grammatical mistakes and confusing lines. Yeah, yeah. Although I write to express, yes, you may criticize my grammatical mistakes, Mugilan...

In class, I've been sitting in my own circle, I guess… Not letting people get too close, not wanting to make much effort. Just classmates, and that’s all. I guess it may seem selfish sometimes. But hey, hard to explain, I’m just like this. (wink~* wink~*) Not that I don’t want to, because of any specific reason. It’s just hard for me to accept people. Just simple as that. Someday, it’ll happen naturally. Maybe a lil late, months, years, who knows.

I’ve got this lump in my left throat. Hurts even when I drink water, imagine if I eat. Huhu~ Since yesterday. But it’s normal, I guess... I dun really like meeting doctors. You see, we meet them, they smile, ask what’s the problem, we answer, they give explanations, we take medicine, then pay a great deal of money. I’d rather let it cool down by itself.

Ah well, merepek-merepek dah. Pyopyo~