It's been a month at iM, I just received my first salary last week.
The man that I report to resigned last Friday and I found out about it several days ago. I asked him why didn't he mentioned anything all this while? And he said that he forgot to mention about it to me. There is a tiny bit feeling of disappointment, in knowing that I'm not important enough to know this. After all, I report to him - the relationship between a Jedi and a young padawan should be positive and stable from the start. But I just found out that I won't be having a Jedi for awhile.
"You need to mix around with people", he said.
I knew someone will mention it sooner or later. I've been holding my tongue for a month, coming in and going back the earliest, going out for lunch alone or with Ally at TRP or even rejecting their almost-daily lunch invitations until they stopped asking. I make myself invisible, work efficiently with Trello so I use minimal vocal communication. I'm being myself, it is always been hard for me to blend in.
"I took 6 months to mix around with people in TRP".
"Oh, so you need to cut it into half here. Maybe take 3 months ?"
Maybe. I feel like there's a need to explain that I am just comfortable like this - the minimal connection between colleagues, the less small talks, and this awkwardness is just me being myself. Making friends shouldn't feel heavy. It should be effortless.
Like how you can just 'clicked' in the earliest part of meeting with new people. I had Ally in TRP and Faizah at SI. Both I am quite attached to after I finally gave in and created a special space for them. It's introversion, nothing new, nothing to rush.
If who I am in a working environment making me work less efficiently or productive - I supposed that would be a problem. But I'm not, at least I don't think so. I'm quite good with what I do and I am a fast-learner, need less supervision and focus on my work. Maybe socializing is important, I can't deny this - but we don't really stop extroverts from talking out loud and messing with your personal space, don't we? Why can't we just be just as quiet and anti-social as we are, as long as we perform better in what we do ?
Anyhow, I accepted the offer as Senior Creative Designer in a new-born start-up company in the heart of KL. The building across the road from where I used to work part-time 2 years ago. I used to love the city vibes so that's a great start. And I already love both the co-founders when I met them last week. The offer is better and I can start from the scratch, it is super risky, but I'm having a good feeling about this.
I sent in my 1-week notice early this week, and it's official. Tomorrow will be my last day in iM.
I agree, 1 month in a company is too short. I haven't even feel comfortable with my new routine in iM and I suddenly need to reset all over again. It's all about taking the new challenges, about putting yourself to do better, to be surrounded with all master Jedi, about not settling-in and about looking forward to your everyday life. That's how it supposed to be. After all, we are going to spend most of our lives in the office - let's make it worthwhile.
PS - No more lunches with Ally tho T^T