I've been making a lot of plans, just because it is new year and I had to think through what I wanted to focus on this year. I was way too distracted these past few years. It is unhealthy and not sustainable for my mental well-being. So I decided to learn to refocus, make use of my seriousness and discipline bit, splurge on self-growth, and put aside the irrational part in a box and lock it for now.
More weekly reflection (because apparently I have too much time thinking):
- I learned that stalking isn't healthy, learned that lesson yesterday so from now onwards (sabo je lah), I will not do this anymore. I will only channel my curiosty towards something worth my energy.
- I learned that being sick is ok. Sofi fell sick, then I fell sick, I had to take 3 days off and that was stressful because I didn't know how to navigate the situation. I told my team the whole thing and my worries as well, and they just asked me to properly rest and they will manage everything just fine. I was surprised and glad and thankful, because they understood and I didn't have to choose between being a mother and my work. Aroha ♥
- Meeting my younger siblings last weekend was good. I didn't realize how much trauma affects us as a person, I thought it was just awful that we had to go through the things that we did. But I see how much we've grown, how much we are making an effort, how much time we are spending in improving ourselves and making better choices and accepting that we are faking this adulthood together. I see both my younger siblings growing up into someone mature, that I would definitely go to if I have problems. I didn't tell them this, but if they read this, well, you are loved and appreciated, I see your effort.
- I think I work out a lot lately, but I don't fuel up my body properly - so I'm super skinny and I'm hungry all the time (plus the fatigue/lightheadness). I enrolled in a Sports Nutrition course from AKK, it is actually for coaches and doctors/nutritionist, but never mind. It might be useful for the certificate that I'm taking soon.
- Confirming on all the commitments that I'm making this year is a good start, I know it is still early on, but I just wanted a more stable base to start on. I can't deal with more uncertainties and open plans. I had to start strong somewhere, so I've been making commitments for myself. Yes, making step by step plans, ticking up boxes, be mindfully present because nobody else is doing that for me, kan.
- I reconnected with Ahli Kelab from Matrix and AP from Uniten. A huge pat on my back for the effort. I also addressed my struggles to my 'supervisor' regarding making meaningful connection and she gave a lot of useful points that I could practice.
- I really miss the hikes in Taiwan, I would want to be back, hopefully soon.
So, may I know what have you been up to ?
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