Run : Moving (Final Quarter 2024)

I know, I missed writing too.

The hardest part about not writing here is the lack of clarity about my state of being because I usually used this channel to sit, take a breather, and focus on putting words on the page. I intended to really craft what I wanted to share, even behind all the filtered words (I usually know what I'm talking about behind what I talked about). Hah, the double meanings are intentionally there to make me remember "where I was" when I was writing it down. But since I stopped doing so for 3 months, I didn't even have the discipline to write in my own journal - because no one was there to remind me of the commitment kan. 

So, yeah. 

I took note of the moving commitment, sure, a lot of things changed since I stopped writing, but the moving commitment was still there through it all - to manage my stress, sadness, and anxiety. It kinda worked, I didn't have any incidents, and I wasn't spiraling. So, if you are going through a hard phase, please, move, pick your weapon, and go fight your shadow. 

-

September:

• Walk - 5,000 steps in a day ✔
• Walk - 5 km in a day ✔
• Walk - 10,000 steps in a day ✔
• Walk - 10 km in a day ✔
• Walk - 16,000 steps in a day ✔
• Run - 3 km ✔
• Run - 5 km ✔
• Run - 7 km ✔
• Ride bicycle - 10km ✔
• Rope Skipping - 100x ✔
• Practice Yoga - 15 mins ✔
• Practice Yoga - 30 mins ✔
• Meditation - 10 mins ✔
• Meditation - 20 mins ✔

Accumulated steps: 192,750 steps

-

October:

• Walk - 20,000 steps in a day ✔

Accumulated steps: 234,376 steps

Note: I've developed a blister on my left toe due to the crammed shoes and walking a lot more than usual. Then, I had a hard time walking because it was uncomfortably painful.

-

November:

• Run - Ultron Run 12 km (running event) ✔

Accumulated steps: 214,147 steps

Note: I wanted a solid 5 k run where I just ran and did not walk. I was not aiming for a personal best; I just wanted to have fun finishing up a 12k run by the end of the month. So by the end of Nov, I did feel confident with my 5k run, and I started working full-time as well, so I didn't have much time to train extensively like I planned (I stopped running 10 days before the run).

The Ultron Run 12k, 30th Nov 2024 : My last running event was in 2017 before I had Sofi, so this event meant a lot to me. The training was done in the gym only, I didn't even have time to train outside in the wild, I just had to make do with everything that I had. Booked it in September, and trained whenever I could. The impressive thing I could do in this run was to know exactly how long I'd run, even without checking on the tracking. I told my brother that we reached our 5k and when he asked how I knew, I said to him that I knew my body well enough and that I trained for a 5k (I checked the phone afterward to prove a point and it was right). Soon after, I knew every km we reached because I could tell how long I had run through it all. It was surprising for me as well.

The special: In this run, I did not listen to any music, only focused on my breath and my run. I treated this run as a closure for the phase I was stuck in for a while, and I'm hoping that I proved myself and everyone else wrong - for having all the doubts and anxiety, in thinking that I couldn't do it, in thinking that I'm physically "weak and feeble" person, that I wasn't strong enough to get through this. I dedicated this run to the person I was 2 years ago when I opened the portal to the unknown. 

Well, I made it out baby. 

Yes, I did, and I did it alone.

-

December:

It has been mostly a slow month. After the Ultron Run, I had my slow healing phase (for a week), and then I went to a group yoga and sound bath healing session the next weekend. I did not push to run right after; there was nothing I was training for, kan. Then, there was a phase when I started running again whenever I could. I do a run and a digital bike ride back to back. I struggled with managing my stress in December because of the many decisions I have had to make lately. I hate it, I hate that I am struggling. Langsung tak best. 

So I run, and I run some more sampai sore. I am so proud of myself for pushing myself forward, for all the runs, and for making efforts - every single time. I will get through the hard times, and hard times will come again for sure, and I will go through that as well. With God's will, InsyaAllah.

Will probably update the summary on the 31st Dec, kalau rajin. 

Kalau tak rajin, here's up until 17/12/24:

For that, I'm wrapping up the year 2024 and I see you again in 2025 🌸