Little Things 267 : Drowning On The Land

I'm having a hard time falling asleep, and I keep waking up around 3 - 4 am, a bit too early to start my day. Crampy stomach pain, tense shoulder, dissociation, moody, and a bit too stressed out. This keeps on repeating every few weeks like a pattern. I know myself too much to not notice this - I'm struggling, right? I don't have to talk my mind out of it or try to talk in riddles to lessen the impact. It is what it is, even the mere attempt to convince me to believe in the process is stressing me out.

Look what I found last night - so beautifully written, it sums up my whole existence in one poetic line : 

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Note : What was it, the dream that I had between the wake at 3 am and the next wake at 4 am just now? Oh, Alex Turner, practicing session at my uni, and was it Tian, coming down for a bombing? Nothing is more random than having them both in my dream, working. 

Random : Who Are You During a Zombie Apocalypse ?

There is an interesting field to discuss on the topic of morals and ethics during a zombie apocalypse. A whole lot of philosophical questions that are worth your nerdy brain to pick on, especially on the 'uncomfortable' what-ifs questions, what is right and wrong during extreme circumstances, who you are as a person, and who you 'really' are in an apocalypse.

These are some questions on morals or ethics that I love to question "myself" because I love challenging my thinking abilities when I watch fictional films, especially about the apocalypse (even though I get triggered easily and I don't feed myself with this kind of content as freely as other people, or I assume). Plus you'll get to know the person better by asking them these hard questions, it's always an interesting pov to learn from.

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Questions I love asking people if they've finally watched/played The Last of Us or layan The Walking Dead *spoiler alert*:

• If you were in Joel's situation, what would you have done? Would you save Ellie or would you sacrifice Ellie to help the finding of the possible vaccine for mankind?  
• If there is a zombie apocalypse, do you want to be the one that chases others or the one that runs away and is being chased?  
• Would you surrender and follow a cultish commune, or would you create one yourself, or perhaps you'd be a lone ranger, OR you choose to be a zombie right away because what is the meaning of LIFE in an apocalyptic world? (So choose: Negan, Rick, Daryl, or Carol) 
• Would you create another human ie get pregnant during an apocalypse? (Maggie & Glenn, helloo?)
• Would you eat a human to survive or you rather die from starvation? 
• Would you sacrifice your moral values to survive and to what extent?
• What would your long-term strategy be during a zombie outbreak? Survive for as long as you can? Make allies, find a group? Become a zombie or suicide?
• If everyone you know is already dead/turned into a zombie, would you still stay around?

These are some of the questions that I love to ask people (ok, maybe the 'people' are just Af and my siblings). So now, I'm asking you to ask yourself: who you are as a person right now and who you are during a zombie apocalypse.

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What is moral and what is ethic?

In the simplest explanation, morals are our own principles, what you believe is right and ethics refer to the societal systems or rules on what everyone agrees is right or acceptable. Your moral values can change if your belief or what you hold on to change, but usually ethical rules don't change as easily without the acceptance of the whole tribe.

For example, if cannibalism is accepted in a tribe/commune during a zombie apocalypse, it is the ethically right thing to do to survive starvation for them, but maybe not for you because you feel it is morally wrong to eat another human being. So, what would you do? 

Movie : Spiderverse, 2023

Standing ovation:

First off, congratulation to Spiderverse for a 5-star movie that left me in awe throughout the whole movie, for a top-notch evolution in the visual/animation/film industry, for opening the door to more experimentation, for telling the world that there are more than what is expected from an animation mould (Disney/Pixar) and for showing the world a new higher par to reach. There should be a huge celebration to thank all the amazing people that worked on the project because they created something new for the future. I felt like the movie is an homage to all the creative/visual people, I felt seen, I felt included - in the most nerdiest way as a creative. 

If you've watched Mitchell & The Machines on Netflix and you've watched the first Spiderverse, you'll know what I mean. It just hits differently, it felt like a playground for creatives to throw the ball and have fun in their most playful, colourful, unpredictable way possible. Not for the faint-hearted but amazing to watch at the bleacher nonetheless.

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Intro:

Af stayed home to take care of Sofi on the planned Thursday so that I could meet up with friends, read a book, and watch Spiderverse. So, a shoutout to him for giving me some 'me-time' that day.

I've been waiting for the 2nd movie since I watched the first one in 2018 (that movie left me in awe as well). Honestly, I didn't watch all the other films in the Spiderman series (except for Tobey + Andrew Garfield's ones but Spiderverse is an exception). 

So after the breakfast chat session with my friends, I booked the ticket and then had lunch while waiting for the screening time. Every time I mentioned it to my siblings or friends, they'd say: "Spiderman, the animation one?", none seems interested, so I decided to watch it alone. I watched it on Thursday, and Af watched it the next day, so we both can take turns in taking care of Sofi. 

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Things I want to Mention :

Okay, let's set aside the visual part that blinded me from the 'real' story. I just watched the jam-packed action film once in one sitting, so I don't think I manage to get much. But here is one thing that I think is worth mentioning for now. I assume that if you are reading this, you already watch the film so I don't have to summarize the whole story yeah:

The Battle that Miles is Going Through - in this film Miles is having a LOT of inner turmoil, he has to make a lot of choices and big decisions. It's the theme of this story, we can see how desperate, alone, and confused he is throughout the film. 

It's the 'me-against-the-world' type of story, a common "the hero's journey" story template, where the hero needs to go on an adventure, find himself or learn a lesson or win a fight or something, in order to come back home stronger, wiser, reborn or transformed. The typical arch of superhero movies. 

But the interesting take on the Spiderverse is how they created these crises:  

• The battle with his loved ones when he chooses to keep everything in secret
• The battle with versions of himself from different dimensions when he couldn't be a part of 'the team'
• The battle within himself when he starts having doubts after meeting Miguel O'Hara
• The battle with his 'shadow' when he goes back to the wrong dimension and faces himself as the 'Prowler'

It started with him against people around him, then him against himself from all different versions of him, then him against himself, and it ended with him against his 'shadow'. 

Let's mention Carl Jung's theory for a minute. There is one Jungian concept called 'the shadow' - the shadow that exists in each of us in our unconscious mind, our total opposite, the part of ourselves that we don't show to the world, our primal inner ego that we hide from ourselves and the people around us because it is not aligned with the best/ideal version of us. That shadow. So, in Jung's theory, it is important for us to explore our shadow, to understand, and embrace it as a part of ourselves in order for us to grow. 

“The meeting with oneself is, at first, the meeting with one’s own shadow. The shadow is a tight passage, a narrow door, whose painful constriction no one is spared who goes down to the deep well. But one must learn to know oneself in order to know who one is.” - C Jung

So in this context, the final battle Miles needs to face, after dealing with the people around him, his inner voices, and himself, is his own shadow. The other version of himself that is buried deep within him. If he can conquer or make peace with his shadow, then he will be reborn, transformed. 

Then the film ended and to be continued to part 2. 

That's my take on the story, for now. 

If I have more to ramble on this topic, I'll update this post !

Run - Canceled Event but Exchanged with a Better One

 

1) I haven't run since the neck-shoulder incident. But soon after I started training again.

2) The Malaysia Night Race that I registered for (and the half-marathon training that I am preparing my body for, is officially canceled). They said it is postponed due to unavoidable reasons, but they are returning the money to us back, so it is officially canceled. Suddenly, I felt a huge relief because I stopped running around 2 weeks ago and the event is less than 50 days away:

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3) But don't worry, the universe comes prepared. The original Putrajaya Night Marathon is now on. This is the first half-marathon event that I entered in 2016, and this should be my run this year. I don't like the running shirt, the finisher shirt, or the medal - but I'm joining. I'll have extra 2 months to train so hopefully I'll be better prepared. I just want to train for a half marathon this year, just to put myself in this uncomfortable phase so that I don't focus on sitting in the hole for too long. 

I don't want to find my inner warrior, I want to find my inner peace:

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4) My Move ring: I tried my best to complete at least a 2 km walk every day. Really hard to keep it consistent or even move throughout the day. Now we walk to send Sofi to kindergarten in the morning and sometimes I pick her up after school too, so it's easier to complete the ring, just need to add a walking habit to our daily routine:

14/6

Woke up to the early morning rain & a mild headache from yesterday's heat.

🖤

Little Stories 251 - A Day Out Jungle Trekking and Enjoying Food

Taman Tugu :

It was suggested by Ms Chin in April, planned in May and finally, we went there last Thursday on the 1st of June. 

Taman Tugu is located near Taman Tasik Perdana (one of my fav parks), how come I didn't know about this place before - that's a mystery. We arrived there and started our first trekking around 8.30 am and finished it after around 2.5 hrs. 

There are 5 trails in Taman Tugu and we tried 4 of them. We spent around 2 hours trekking on those trails. If you want an easy trail, you can try the blue trail, if you want a longer trail, you can try the green-yellow-white-red trails combined. There are lots and lots of high steps so hiking sticks would be a great plus, but it is also manageable without one. 

Here is my ninja attire, obviously not suitable for jungle trekking but looks cool nonetheless: 

It is a nicely planned, clean, and calm place, with well-designed facilities like toilets, shower stalls, surau, and rest areas equipped with fans, tables, and long benches. Also, a souvenir desk, if you need to buy something like drinks or souvenirs, all the money collected from the sales will be used to maintain the park. There's also a Taman Tugu Cafe near the entrance, but you need to drive down from the main entrance.

I missed this. I used to do this with Af many times before Sofi. Outing, being in nature, sweating, hiking, or just walking. We stopped doing outdoorsy things after Sofi and the pandemic. So this was great. I enjoyed it so much. 

We went there on a weekday during a school holiday. I asked Af to arrange a play-date for Sofi and his friends' daughters that day so that I could have a free outing day out. 

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Know know at Kenny Hills :

We didn't know where to lepak to after the trekking, so Miss Chin suggested going to Kenny Hills around 7 mins drive from Taman Tugu. So we went there, with our smelly-sweaty clothes, and we stayed there for an hour or probably more, just talking and enjoying food. Something I miss since becoming a hermit. 

I ordered a smoked salmon and avocado croissant and an almond milk latte:  

I was famished when we arrived. But honestly, the croissant wasn't my fav meal there, had ordered other things better before. The smoked salmon and avocado croissant was quite a filling meal after a 2 hours+ trekking. Protein, healthy fats, fiber and carbs, perfect combo kan. Kahkahkah.

My brother and I already planned ahead to extend the outing and we brought extra shirts to change for our next place. After breakfast, Miss Chin dropped us to the nearest train station, we then took a shuttle bus, train rides, and some walks to our next location in Bukit Bintang. Note: We walked for almost 10 km that day.

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Pizza Mansion :

I ate my lactase pill just for this. My brother wanted to bring me to Pizza Mansion before raya, and we finally got the time to go there. 

A good walk, good pizza, and good times. 

It is in the middle of Bukit Bintang, just around 10 minutes walk from the train station. A quaint place that offers a nice artisan pizza. It is not Halal certified because the restaurant sells alcoholic beverages, but all pizzas are said to be made Muslim-friendly and only use halal ingredients for their foods. A great place for a date or socializing with friends. 

When we arrived, there were only us and another 2 tables of people dining in. So it wasn't as crowded as we expected (maybe because we arrived before lunch hour during work time). Taste-wise: it was good, and I do recommend going there for their pizza. We tried Magic Mushroom pizza - porcini + truffle cream, button mushroom, fior-di-latte, thyme, Parmigiano, and truffle oil. 

A feast after a long walk !

I think the best thing about this outing was finding a dedicated time to spend some time with my brother alone, because we are at that age that we don't really spend that much quality time together. Maybe I should also do this with my younger sister too. 

Note: Thank you Mi ! 

Little Stories 252 : That Conversation in White Lotus

 

Daphne asked Harper whether she likes being a woman and Harper said she’s fine with it, 'usually'. 

She then said she loves being a woman and would hate to be a man : 

"It’s so lonely. I mean, they are so competitive. It’s like, can they even be friends with each other? Cameron and I went on a safari and on safari, you see all these pods of elephants and they all like, bathing in the river and playing with each other and it’s so sweet. But it’s just the moms and the babies because when the boy elephants get too big they kick them out of the pod. And then the bull elephant has to like wander through the jungle by himself for the rest of his life. I feel sorry for them, you know. It’s like they think they’re out there doing something really important but really they’re just wandering alone. " - White Lotus S2 E03

I think this was one of the moments when Harper realized that Cameron isn't as shallow as she assumed she was.

 

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I finished watching White Lotus season 2 and I had mixed feelings about it. Both seasons were uncomfortable to watch and I wondered why. Then I found this article and this, which might explain it better than I can. Although it focuses on different topics, they were all unsettling and awkward - not a good watch with your partner or friends.

Event : The Weekend Event at CAFKL 2023

Last weekend I joined CAFKL at The Starling Mall. 

It didn't even make any sense. I didn't manage to create any new pieces of stuff like I planned, I felt like I made a mistake by booking 2 tables, and didn't feel like going anymore. I was physically in pain and couldn't draw, so there were no last minutes drawings. 

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I took care of the booth alone, so I spent most of the time reading Frankenstein. Af took care of Sofi during those 2 days I was at the booth. I did meet some of my old fans, but, I think the crowds were much younger and they probably never even heard about me. 

I wasn't anxious this time, which was great considering I was socially anxious in a lot of the previous events. Even with my old stocks (selling for really cheap), I managed to accumulate around RM 1k in those 2 days. So I think that was good - I sold out and gave away a lot of the things that I didn't want to keep anymore.

On the first day, I wore a white kurung and on the second day, I wore full black, in a shirt & jeans. I wish I would meet my fellow illustrators/artists, but, I didn't find that many familiar faces. Also, when I think about it, don't you think it's amazing that when you are surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of unfamiliar faces, most of the time you don't even feel connected to any of them and you just wish you meet that one familiar face, among hundreds of unknown possibilities of connection. You just want that one familiar face and ignore the hundreds. 

Sofi was so well-behaved and she had fun learning how to support local artists :

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Here was the floorplan and I was at D27-D28 :

Little Things 266 : My Numbers

 

On my odd Thursday :

I paid my first bill at 11:13 am, which subtotaled RM 113.00, and the net total was RM 131.10.

When I saw the watch during our lunch stop, my step count was 11,313 steps. Later I was bragging to my brother about it and coincidently when I looked at the watch again, the time was 01:31:31 pm.

Later that day, I paid some bills and my balance was RM 1,313.15. I even texted my brother telling him that my numbers were still appearing. 

Notes: I called them my numbers because I was born on the 3/1 - so I love mentioning the number when it appears around me. I don't know what the universe is trying to tell me on that day.