Big News

May 16, 2019
Note :  This is an on-going post throughout 9 months

In December last year I mentioned about the 4th goal in 2018 that I failed to achieve, that is having our own child/getting pregnant. It was the first public statement (online) that I wrote to mention about the situation i.e. we were married for 3.5 years and I've never been pregnant, not even once. We've tried. 

For the past 3 years, I've been hoping, praying, trying, meditating, exercising, not exercising, eating clean, not eating clean, running, stop running, and quitting my permanent job. I've never really told anyone, but one of the reason why I actually quitted, was to try to be in a stress-free environment so I could prepare my body and soul for the pregnancy. But it never happened. 

I've been in small patches of darkness, thinking and blaming myself. Why can't I get pregnant ? :F It was depressing to even think about how many times did I secretly buy the UPT stick to check whether I was pregnant or not every time my period was late (I have irregular menses). 

I've always talked about considering adoption. I don't really mind if we are not related by blood, children are children as they are. 

But I've finally accepted this. I told myself that it is okay. I stopped tracking, I stopped punishing myself, I stopped planning for the unforeseen future. I finally shared with you guys about the struggle. It was the first step, acceptance. 

We were the odd 1 in every 8 couples.

Just several days after I finally wrote something about my situation in this blog, we finally got the great news. At that time I just got a back-injury from yoga and the longest bloatedness in my life so I had to rest for the whole week. I felt bad, my body felt weird. I didn't get my period for over 2 months but I didn't feel like there was anything wrong. Af insisted on checking whether I was pregnant or not. So we just bought a pregnancy test stick.

That night, I just took it out from the box and peed on the UPT stick. I know that it is advisable to use in it in the morning (the-first-pee-of-the-day), that was the excuse I used to Af so he wouldn't nag me on it that night. I didn't expect anything, at all. I just wanted to be over with it. 

But the 2 lines slowly appeared, I had a 5 seconds blank. I even considered whether I should wake Af up and then I did. I asked him to buy another UPT stick at 7/11 and I got tested again that night. Still positive.

I found out when I was 7 weeks pregnant.


The first trimester :

3 - 4 weeks : I was in Turkey. I had the light spotting that I was mistaken as period.

5 weeks : I got back from Turkey, went to Penang for a workshop and meeting, explored Penang on foot. A lot of walking, exhaustion more than usual, but I didn't noticed everything else. I was so used to walking - thought I was just extra tired because of the travels.

6 - 7 weeks : I mentioned about the 'telur pindang' incident in my previous post. I guess that was my first real craving :F I was bloated for almost 2 weeks. I felt bad because it was uncomfortable and it aches everywhere around my abdomen. I rested a lot. I nap during the afternoon - one thing I didn't do for most of my adult life. Af nagged me to get tested, this is the week we found out about the pregnancy.

8 weeks : I officially got tested at Klinik Kesihatan (KK) and opened my first pink book of pregnancy. The whole process took 4 hours. First scan, the doctor can't confirm on the exact weeks, so she asked me to come again for 2nd scan in 2 weeks. I finally believed that I was pregnant when I saw the tiny little thing during the scan. We managed to keep it as a secret from the family for 3 long days.

9 weeks : Comic Fiesta and children workshop week. I was still exhausted, hungry, nauseated, and bloated almost all day everyday. My body felt different and it was by-far the longest ill I've ever felt. I rather stay at home and I can't work. I woke up at night to pee. I need to eat every 2 hours, or I'll get too hungry to function. After I eat, I'll get bloated and uncomfortable. I was already showing a little - not sure by the constant bloatedness, or the pregnancy itself.

10 weeks : 2nd scan checkup at KK and specialist checkup at the Serdang Hospital. Weeks confirmed, I was 11 weeks pregnant and will due in the end of July 2019. There was a worrying look during my scan - a possible fibroid, so I was sent to a specialist to confirm about it. The specialist said she can't see anything worth worrying, so I don't have to worry about anything. If there is even a fibroid, she can't do anything about it at this point - just a 2nd checkup in 2 months time to see if there's anything worth to worry about :F
The symptoms slowly subside, sometimes I felt okay, sometimes I felt bad. But most of the time, really bad.

11 weeks : The week I turned 32. I woke up at 4 am in the morning once because I was too hungry. I slept in early that night when the hunger kicked in, and ignored it. But turned out I can't no longer ignore it when I was awake by the hunger itself =.= This pregnancy phase is the weirdest phase ever. I started buying new pant and bras to cope with the sudden body changes, no longer flat on board guys :F

12 weeks : January checkup at KK. I realized that I lost some of the weight that I've been gaining - maybe due to the minimal eating (even though it was constant - I started eating in very small potion because I get bloated almost every single time after I eat). Not only that, the nurse checked my iron level and said that it was quite low and I had to eat new supplement to make more blood :F This pills make me nauseous more than ever, I had to eat it before sleep and I hate it very much T^T

13 weeks : I already slowly reaching the 2nd trimester and most of the awful symptoms like super exhaustion, daily afternoon nap, nauseous throughout the day - slowly subside. I feel like myself, I started working again, sitting in front of my laptop and beginning to make new projects on my desk was the most fulfilling activity. I've missed it.

The second trimester :

14 weeks : Officially on the 2nd trimester week. We went to another free trip, this time a free room at Rosa Hotel in Malacca - a lovely boutique hotel. We walked at Mahkota Parade for several hours the next day and although everyone was still energized, I had to rest earlier than normal. I even suggested the early lunch due to my hunger. It was still weird (to be the one that asked to eat first and go home early).

15 weeks : Finally called Hospital Putrajaya to make an appointment with Dr Hamidah for my delivery in July. I planned to take the Full-Paying Patient (FPP) program at Hospital Putrajaya. It is a program where we can choose to pay for a 1st class service with a choice of specialist in hand. My first appointment will be in May.

16 weeks : CNY week. Longest holiday - since Saturday until the next Wednesday. Most of the companies are on holiday, so all my projects are currently on pause as well. We went to PD for another free trip.
I also passed some of my shirts and past working attire to my little sister, I only kept the ones that are still wearable, free-sized blouses. By this time, I only have 6 clothes + 2 comfy pants left. I stopped wearing my jeans weeks ago and finally kept only 1 jeans + 2 fav t-shirts for "someday". Saying goodbye to lean figure for now.

17 weeks : Monthly checkup at KK, everything went normal back again. My blood level increased, I gained some weight, and I heard the baby's heartbeat for the first time. The nurse changed my supplement from Zincofer to Obimin.
I also felt something for the first time, like finger flicks once or twice at a time. The nurse confirm that it is what called as 'quickening'.

18 weeks : I had to make an appointment for a glucose test. I brought a book, tissue and water bottle. Took my number, waited for my turn, the nurse took my blood, I had to drink the watery sugar, and stayed at the clinic for 2 hours, reading. After 2 hours, I waited for my number to be called again and the nurse took my blood again. That's it. The result will be shared later.
My stomach felt tight most of the time - like I ate just a little too much (all the time). Wondering how my stretch mark will look like soon, I will wear it like a badge of survival honour. Every night I will wait for the baby to give me those precious tiny kicks. Af still haven't experienced it yet, every time I put his hand on my abdomen, he didn't feel anything.

19 weeks : 2nd checkup with the referral specialist at Serdang Hospital regarding my 'possible' fibroid. It was one of the worst waiting session ever, more than 3 hours just to take a number and pay for a fees before meeting up with the specialist. We finally met a doctor and she did a scan. This was the first time Af meeting the baby on screen. The baby is much bigger than I last seen 2 months back. It was such an exciting moment. Another good news, she can't see any fibroid or anything worth worrying. The baby is healthy ♥️

20 weeks : I started having back pain - almost daily. I can't no longer work for hours, I need rest at least every 1 hour. Sleeping is no longer comfortable, there's actually no suitable position for pregnant people to sleep, sleep to the right or sleep to the left - and both aren't comfortable. I wake up to leg cramps in the middle of the night every day. But the baby is active, I can feel the baby moving and kicking all day and it ease my mind.
We met my best friend Tasya and her new baby Zara (3 weeks old), such a precious little angel - happy for having to share the same year of pregnancy and new life phase together.

21 weeks : We make an appointment for a detailed scan at a local clinic near our area. The detailed scan costed RM 198 and we took around 1 hour to finish the session. All in all, the sonogrammer can't find any abnormalities, all looked fine - Alhamdulillah. The baby was very active during the session. By the end of the session, the sonogrammer told us the good news; we are having a baby girl ♥️Just as I predicted long ago.

22 weeks : I started buying my first baby clothes ! :D There was a family party to celebrate my grandma's birthday that weekend and almost everyone was there, I finally told my dad's family about my pregnancy - and I was already obviously showing so everyone noticed it right-away.

23 weeks : I could not longer wear my usual pants and clothes. Most of my clothes are already washed, folded and kept in one bag because it might take another half a year before I start wearing my old clothes back. I had to buy several comfy loose shirts, pregnancy pants and underwear. I bought everything on Lazada and Shopee because they are much cheaper and easier to find (without having to go out).
I felt active kicks and movements every single day, at least around every 5-6 hours : early in the morning, in the afternoon, evening and at night. I already familiarized her time-table :D

24 weeks : I still splurge on fruits, I think I spent around RM 30 - RM 50 a week for fruits. As snacks, smoothies, add in yogurts, or eat just like that because I am still constantly hungry. Other than local pasar malam, I buy my fruit stocks at MBGonline or Happy Fresh app. I ate a LOT.
This week was also Af's 32nd birthday !

25 weeks : Monthly checkup at the KK. Everything was fine, I listened to the baby's heart beat again, did normal checkup and scheduled for next big appointment reaching the my third trimester soon.

26 weeks : I started having little bumps and rashes around my tummy, I think my body is stretching and it is beginning to become extra itchy (especially during this hot season). I think I even take shower up to 3-4 times a day. My legs and feet are also aching, especially when I wake up early in the morning. Eating habit is still over-whelming, I am still hungry every 2 hours.
The kicking changes this week, from tiny kicks, they turned into something more subtle but a repetition of someone exploring your body from the inside.

27 weeks : The final week of the second trimester ! ♥️ I'll start counting her movement daily soon :D

The third trimester :

28 weeks : I started counting her daily movement and need to record it in my pregnancy log book. This week I've started having new daily symptoms where my feet aches, my thigh, my pubic bones, my soles all sore especially when I wake up in the morning or from a long sitting.

And so I started to make it a habit to have a short walk everyday (but just started this week :p not throughout the whole pregnancy)

We finally shared the news on social media :D

29 weeks : I have 2 appointments : 1. The now twice-weekly at Klinik Kesihatan. During the KK appointment, I had to do the normal blood and urine test, 2nd glucose test (because I was in borderline gestational diabetes - yikes !), got tetanus shot, meet-up with the doctor for my 3rd trimester scan, check the baby's heartbeat and position, and topup my Obimin stock. Note : Every single thing I've done at KK at this point has been free of charge. That means all the monthly checkups, scans, supplements, tests, shots are all FREE. You just had to bear the waiting (usually around 4 hours). 

2. Another appointment was first meet-up with my doctor that will deliver my baby at Hospital Putrajaya (InsyaAllah). I booked for Dr. Hamidah and I actually came on the wrong date :F My appointment was on the 10th but I came on the 11th - on Saturday where she already had a list of patients she needs to meet (had to squeeze me in).
When we first came, we had to register as FPPatient (fill in a form) and make a payment of RM 235 (including registration, consultation and scan). Then I had to take a number at the gynaecologist counter and did a urine test. Then the waiting began - in between that a nurse called my name and asked about why I missed the day before :F Anyway, meeting the doctor was quick (maybe around 10 minutes), updated her on my case, did a scan to check on the baby and set for the next appointment. That's it - it took around almost 3 hours.

We also bought both baby stroller and baby car seat this week ! (Presents from her grandma - but we did the choosing and buying). 

30 weeks : I got a call from KK, to inform me that I have gestational diabetes and I had to come in for a blood monitoring that night, and twice the next day to proceed with the next step (to see how serious it is and whether I'll be needing a reference with a specialist at Hospital Serdang) T^T It was a shocking news to me, considering I've been one of the most food-conscious person in the family i.e I haven't drink soft drinks for years, I hardly eat junk foods, my rice intake has always been limited. But usually gestational diabetes caused by hormonal imbalance (that, I can't deny - I've been suspecting it throughout the years).

31 weeks : It was confirmed that I got gestational diabetes, so I bought a blood glucose monitoring machine and started to have a really strict less-carbs, no processed sugar diet to prepare for the next 2 week's checkup (because the doctor said if I'm not capable to monitor my glucose level, I might need to take a medication and I don't want that). I ate double the veggies in every meal, limited fruits and carbs, also checked my glucose level twice a week (4 times a day).

32 weeks : My 2nd monthly checkup at KK - my glucose level is good, the doctor said I can monitor on my own for the time-being, also had a free consultation with a dietician regarding how to eat when you have gestational diabetes that day.
But I weighed down to 56.7 - loss 300 gram in less than 2 weeks due to my changed diet. At the time being, I just gained almost 5kg since I got pregnant :F Also, after 2 weeks of no processed sugar, my skin cleared up I got no pimples on my face at all (which was kind-of surprising) but my hormonal back-acne came back aggressive as ever (like in my 2nd trimester). Pregnancy is weird.
I also had another checkup at Hospital Serdang regarding my past fibroid scare - now that there's nothing worth worrying, it become a monthly free checkup by the specialist :D

33 weeks : Raya week !
I had 2 days of cheat days during Raya, I gave myself a chance to eat anything - in moderation. We also had an extra time to walk at the beach - twice, really early in the morning and late in the afternoon. Although I can't no longer walk that far without having aches all over, I had to use up the energy I consumed on those cheat days :F Got back from Raya and check my blood sugar level, all normal, nice and clean :D

I also didn't buy any baju raya, wore something comfy that looked decent for Eid that matches Af (he wore the same shirt he bought 2 Eids before). By far, I felt like myself during this Raya and I really loved the first few shots that we took (until we forgot to take other pictures afterwards).
My body still aches all over and sleeping becoming like a chore - I don't sleep for long, other than waking up twice to pee, I can't sleep well resulting a constant exhaustion.

Raya shot (8 months) :

34th week : I think my pregnancy-tummy is getting bigger. Visually bigger and higher - no longer comfortable wearing anything with pants. The rashes on my tummy is still one of the most challenging thing (PUPPP) in my 3rd trimester - they are all itchy all day every day, much worst than mosquito bites. I had to sleep with my stomach exposed - just so I won't be triggering the rashes.
I am still super hungry all the time, but I can't no longer eat as much as before because I feel full right after several bites. Sleeping is no longer easy, I'm having minor insomnia. My lower body is still sore  all day - the pelvic, the thigh, the feet. I'm not sure how exercising is possible although people say it helps a lot :F I'm avoiding that.

35th week : We had a nice weekend in Pekan again. I had my early morning walk on Sunday, we woke up at 5.30 and arrived at the beach before the sun rise with coffee (for Af) and light breakfast. Took this picture of me with my big baby bump and managed to walk 2km before heading back :D

36th week : I have 3 appointments this week : weekly KK appointment, monthly update to Hospital Serdang and Hospital Putrajaya :F So I got 3 scans of the baby, all roughly said that the baby is already reaching 3kg !

The doctor gave me an option to do a czer right-away to avoid any complication during labour when she saw my history with sub-infertility and found out that I've been trying for the last 3.5 years before I got pregnant. She said to discuss and decide with Af when we meet again on the 38th week. After the meet-up, I met another 2 doctors (in KK and Hospital Serdang) and asked for their opinion (I got free consultation in both these place). All doctors said the same thing : the reason my doctor suggested to do a czer is because she can control the surgery and focus on the baby's delivery and not because I'm at higher risk to have a normal delivery than anyone else. So that ease my mind.

37th week : Just my weekly appointment at KK and deciding on the delivery procedure with Af. I'm still doing the weekly glucose monitoring for my gestational diabetes. Usually all my results are normal, below 5 during all-nighter fast, under 5.5 after breakfast, under 6 after lunch/dinner.
Quite clean - EXCEPT, that one time I ate 5 kuih raya and 2 hours later my glucose level won't budge, the result was 7.3 and I failed the BSP and all the doctors recorded the result. One doctor wrote a statement "she took kuih raya" in her record =.='.


Latest :

38th week : I met my doctor and we decided on the procedure, the date and time to induce the baby - because I have gestational diabetes so we can't postpone or wait for long :F The baby is already  roughly around 3.3kg and I can't exceed 3.6kg or again, the doctor will suggest to do a czer procedure right-away because she's too big. Less than 10 days to go !

New symptoms this week :
  • Carpal tunnel syndrome - my fingers are now in tingling pain - I thought it was odd because I thought hands aren't related to pregnancy at all but I read that it is due to the fluid build-up and this symptom came with my swollen feet so the connection is there. 
  • Swollen feet - it's really funny to see my feet full and thick because I'm used to see the skin and bones.  

39th week : Final meet-up with my nurse at KK for my weekly update. The doctor in KK wanted to do a final scan and when he did, he said that the baby is already reaching 3.5kg (a bit too big - maybe due to my GDM) so he referred me to the hospital to get an assessment - maybe to be induced much earlier and not wait for another 1 week for the exact date. But when we arrived at the hospital, the doctor said to follow our original plan and come in to be admitted on the 23rd to be assessed and induced =.=

My mom-in-law just arrived and is staying over for a few weeks to take care of me.

My Braxton-Hick contraction became really intense lately, harder and longer. I guess my body is preparing for the labour soon. It came to the point when I had to sleep at my armchair because every time I lay down, the contraction started =.= (last night it was almost every 5 minutes and at least 40 secs long, I even thought it was an early labour sign, but it was false labour weyyy).
Plus the pain level during this final week is also intense. At this point, usually by 4 am, I'll be awake and start my day because laying down is not comfortable at all. Trying to sleep for long is also pointless. My lower body is constantly in pain (especially my pelvic + pubic bones, and also my thigh and swollen feet).
But although the baby is already considered big and heavier than average baby, I don't have back pain throughout this month (thank God) :F

This is me on my 39th week + 5 days, trying to walk in Putrajaya to naturally induce the labour but it was just a hard-slow-painful walk and no sign of labour yet :F

Today is the 22nd July and I'll be admitted and induced tomorrow ! 
Doakan yang baik2 dan dipermudahkan segala urusan ♥️


40th week : The delivery week !


2 comments on "Big News"
  1. Congratulations Azreen! :) It's a pleasure reading your records of each week (rajinnnyaaaa, tunggulah anak kedua, ketiga nanti :P — inshaAllah!). I pray for great health for you (don't worry, diabetes masa pregnant seems to be very common) and baby, a beautiful delivery and postpartum experience ahead. May Allah reward you both for your incredible patience!

  2. You probably don't know me but I'm genuinely happy to know this news when you announced it on instagram. Congratulation to you and AF! Can't wait to see Azreen JR soon. Hehe :DD