Little Things 111 : Nice

Blogs and social media are sites used to be visible through the internet.
They show 'the-curated-version' of me, of what I want people to see.

One thing for sure;
I am not nice.
Definitely not always.

Little Stories 69 : First Day

After almost 2 months, I was offered to change department from LGM to RP, the online news publisher; which was much cooler than previous Social Media department. I've been wanting to work with writers and journalist, so it was like a small dream came true moment.  

*

My supervisor came down to greet me and help bring my stuffs to my new desk upstair. Along with my previous supervisor, we talked for a bit and so she said excitedly;

"Welcome, Azreen. It's good to have you with us."

I grinned.

"I'm fighting for Max, I hope you like Max! Cross your fingers! :D ", both of them smiled at me.

I've never heard anyone named Max at the office, and knowing I just worked with them for 2 months, I thought it won't be an issue to just ask if I don't recognize the staffs;

"Erm, who's Max?", innocently I asked.

They both looked at me, confused.

"Mac. The computer?".

"Oh, yes. The computer. Mac. Yes".

=.=

Books : January List

1. Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami

I read IQ84 last year, took 2 months to finish reading the thick book. I am really curious about Asian Literature so I want to know more about these writings, Norwegian Wood was listed in my birthday wish list as well. I didn't regret my choice.

I love the direct and blunt type of language Haruki used in the book. It almost felt like reading haiku; speaking in short line of words, very simple. But feelings were sprouting everywhere in the book; be it loneliness, pain, detachment, love. What makes it impressive is how simple the writings are, carrying such heavy meaning.

Usually, if something is so simple, it's hard for us to notice the beauty. That was how I felt while reading it. I thought, 'this is too simple to be beautiful'. But he nailed it.

What I like about the book is the bluntness, and the depth of feelings in such simple writing. The storyline is straight-forward but a bit depressing : it's about suicide, first love, and detachment.

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2. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

I read this for several days while I was commuting. The book has large font sized text, which is not my favourite type of book, nice cover page and semi-formal language, not beautifully written, it feels like watching those chick-lit movies I stopped watching several years ago. I may not be one qualified reviewer but in my blog, I seldom take too much time sounding like the person I am not in reality, so this explains the semi-formal language as well. Yes, John Green wrote it like something that has been written in a blog.

My random thought : this is a book for pre-adult/teenage. This explains a LOT.

Storyline : Although I said I didn't quite like the book, I cried several times while I was reading it. These days, I can cry to every single thing, the hormonal imbalance makes me super sensitive over everything. It's annoying, to read in the train and try to control the tears.

The storyline is cliché, almost expected and no twist, just direct story.

I guess I won't be reading any John Green in the future.

Not to say it's not a good book, it's just not a 'great' book. I am more hard to please when it comes to books, I have my own 'standard'. And I love heavy and twisted stories. This was just too easy, it almost feels like I was wasting my time.

*

3. The Storyteller by Jodi Picoult

Good people are good people, religion has nothing to do with it.

Jodi Picoult is one of my favorite writer and I've read almost all her books. *17 books, to be exact. She loves to tell stories about relationship between human. Parents with children, husband with wife, between couples and friends, judge and murderer, lawyer and offender, doctor and patients, etc. It's always about relationship and conflict between that, not as simple as our lives are, but usually in ways that make me ponder and question a lot. Morally right or wrong, emotionally acceptable or not. Definitely not a chick-lit type of books.

This time, it's about the Holocaust, an ex-Nazi SS guard and one of the survivor's grand-daughter, a Jew. I love history and I love fiction, combining both is like having your favorite ice-cream topped with extra chocolate chips.

I was actually a bit disturbed, because reading books about genocide is a bit heart-wrenching, even if the book is fiction. The possibilities that it might be true, and can happen or happened. Phew. Not going to share any spoiler.

But this book is definitely a good one, highly recommended.
Thought-provoking, emotional, well-written story.

*

Ngomelan Versi Bahasa Pasar Selasa

Ini ngomelan akibat ketidakpuasan hati terhadap masyarakat yang suka menyimbah complaints merata-rata than tengok cermin muka sendiri tapi tidak buat apa-apa. Baca jika berminat, maaf jika terasa, maaf kerana guna bahasa pasar Selasa. Topik : PTPTN, Rumah & Kerja.

This Week's Findings 03

1. Article :
Why I am the worst social media consultant you could ever hire by Rhys Howell :

Struggling to promote your product in Social Media?

You need a better product - not better social media.

True. Great product goes viral effortlessly. When you are really 'good', people will do the talking. If you struggle, then your product is not great enough for the people, keep on improving. Tough love.

2. Moleskine Review :

Moleskine Cahier Small Squared Notebook (Set of Three)

Let's be frank, Moleskine = pricy. And like everything over-pampered, they are quite fragile. They are elegant, simple, minimal and straight to its function, everything I like about a notebook. Plus : I don't need a fancy cover to match, because I know I'll keep those in things I plan to create in the notebook instead. *So Muji & Moleskine's product work for me.

Size A6 : I love everything small, A5 & A6 are great pocket size items in my bag.

Paper quality : quite limited, mechanical pencil works the best in these books, most artlines are not - the paper is quick thin and the ink might be visible from the next page. What I use is Pilot 0.3 and that is decent enough.

Cover : Plain, and the texture might be a little furry after awhile. Dirt = ugly defect esp. oil spill.

Price range : RM30+ per set ( 3 notebooks ).

I used to buy these books, customize them and resell it, back in 2010. These days I use it for myself, too latzy to customize anything. Phew.

Recommendation :

Don't buy if you are not a notebook addict, and against buying over-priced items.

3. Icons :

Find icons from IconFinder, I do a lot of infographic for my daily job, so I find usable icons from there. Make sure you read the rules : some are free, some are only free for personal use, some under CC and other licensing.  

4. Politics

It's dirtier and filthier than I thought it would be.

But that's human's game. Expected.

5. GenY Latzy

There's this arguments on this topic : GenY is the worst generation aka Lazy.

Gen 'Y' fights lazy tag by Andrea Davy and Generation Y lazy by Ryan Gibson were some of article written reviewing this topic. Some agree and some disagree. Interesting arguments, some good points taken, some points worth to be discussed. 

In general, it might be true, but with reasons. I saw that coming and I, myself often struggle with some points they mentioned. But lazy? Not true, I currently work 2 jobs, weekend or no weekend, holiday or no holiday, along with my small business. 

Let's discuss this in later post.

6. Photographs of people reading around the world.

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Excerpt 02 : Dance Dance Dance

“As time goes on, you’ll understand. What lasts, lasts; what doesn’t, doesn’t. Time solves most things. And what time can’t solve, you have to solve yourself. Is that too much to ask?” — from Dance Dance Dance by Haruki Murakami

Like Sofia Coppola, Haruki shows us how lonely he is from his works. The depth of his detachment from the social world is too visible, the energy and feelings he put in his works were touchable by reading his books. All the time I was reading, I kept on thinking "how he can put up with these kind of feelings and channel them into his works?".

His writing is a bit depressing, and I'm not going to recommend it to people as a 'must-read' books. But his works are phenomenal  indeed. It is understandable if the Westerners are impressed with Asian Literature only by reading Murakami's works. His ability to capture reader's feeling - phew.

He wrote beautiful things in the most simplest manner - almost blunt and direct, toneless but deep. His books that I've read : IQ84 and Norwegian Woods. 

Doodle : Art Prints

Hello !

I am selling art prints from my illustrations :
Little Things & Moonrise Kingdom, Sized A5.

Little Things inspired by things around me on my outing session. I picked up things that I found along the way and took pictures to be shared in my Ig.
While Moonrise Kingdom was inspired by the Wes Anderson's movie I watched last year.

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It's limited to certain amount of prints, so, the offer comes while stock lasts ya.
Send me an email : azreen_31@hotmail.com or find me on facebook : Doodles by azreenchan , but I'm not a Facbook avid user, so I might take some time.

Kindly email me for the price & postage fees. Thanks !

Little Things 110 : Silence

I realized that everyone is flawed.

And we hold onto other people around us to stand. 

We become visible and might as well belonged. 

I'm tired of telling people that the loneliness will always be there, a part of you. Because that missing part is not yours, and all your life, you'll keep on searching, trying to fill in the emptiness with things. 

You see, that missing part is there to make you realize that you are made incomplete. 

To make you realize there is power above all of us. 

Don't be afraid of silence and loneliness. 

It is not a form of depression, if you know where to look from.

Embrace yourself and find your strength. 

And I wish you could find your serenity. 

Little Things 109 : Hibernation

 

I've started doodling again.

This is the most exciting moment this month, other than my birthday celebration. I've started doodling again and running to catch-up the pace. The energy that has been sleeping for months, the daunting thoughts of looking at white empty pages. I'm filling up pages now, trying to find any time that I could use. Alhamdulillah.

 

Listened to talks by Shaun Tan, Craig Thompson and lots of TEDx while working. I guess that pushed me start doodling again, those list of inspirations. Do something without any intention of accepting feedback, do it for yourself alone - leaving all critiques and praises behind. And find your pace. 

 

Plus my new ridiculously expensive Moleskine notebook - so I won't waste ANY of those empty pages. Very inspiring kan. =.='

 

Little Things 108 : Lunch Session 2

"Why are you going to lunch alone? Where is the others?", my supervisor asked.

"Oh, they went down already, I'll tapau something".

*

 

The liberty of choosing where I'm going for lunch, what to do while eating, my silence, writing & doodling moments, and the extra free time. Mostly, the liberty of being totally in control with my surrounding. Social activities exhaust me.

 

Sombong nye.

Little Thing 107 : Busy

"Kita busy sangat, sampai kita jadi lalai kan?", my mom said.

"Eh, kalau Tuhan tanak kita busy, dah lama Dia kasi duit banyak2. Jadi kita tak payah busy kerja."

"Eh apa cakap macam tu, tak baik!",
 and so my mom scolded me for another "cakap main lepas" short session.

*

 

1. When I am busy, I remember God the most. Despite the time spent for works and time sacrificed to gain money. More difficulties, more sacrifices, the more I remember. I miss Him in my waking hour and I agree that He writes a better story, so there is no such thing as being busy and no time to 'beribadah' - like how people like to say. Because He is here - in your life, day and night, work and leisure, every single thing that you do, everything represents Him. Think it that way, then hopefully you'll never be far.

 

2. He wrote the story of our lives. Every single thing got reason/s. Busy then busy lah. We'll try to catch-up. Kalau duk whining about it all the time, then siapa yang tengah questioning God's decision? Note : Promise that you'll try to reduce whining to people - except to your partner, they have the unspoken agreement to listen to all your whines without any judgements, haha.

 

3. I feel bad when I tercakap lepas to my mom, this explains the blog post. What I meant to say is, I am trying my best as a human, to catch-up with things but worry not, my thoughts and responsibilities still be with Him. Life is a series of imperfection, and I am trying.

 

Fin.

Little Things 106 : Lunch Session

 

I noticed that if I can't do gossip,

I'll be having a hard time mixing with the girls.

 

It's like your social status depends on how many stories you can talk about especially the one about other people. I don't care much about other people's private life - that leads to = nothing much to tell. I don't read gossip sites or newspapers or even follow celebrities' Instagram. I have almost nothing to tell about other people in social gathering aka "lunch". And I pretty much hate to talk about myself to strangers.

 

I feel like being in high-school all over again .

=.=

 

Little Stories 68 : Breakfast

 

Looking at the second book I was holding while choosing my breakfast in front of the office, the man said :

 

"I want to send my younger brother to learn English, with you. I'm serious.",

this was the second time he asked me that.

 

"Sure, sure."

 

"Okay, I need your phone number please".

 

*

Nice move, bro. 

Little Stories 67 : Cruel Morning Thoughts

"If you found out that you can't get pregnant, what will you do?", someone asked.

"Then I think I'll take few years more before I'll get married.
The main reason I plan to get married in my 20s is to have children", I answered.

*



But if I can't get pregnant, I'll be devastated.
And probably signing up to be all my close friend's babysitter. And I'll cry. So many times until I can accept the fact that I can't have children, which, I'm sure will take time.

Ah, cruel morning thoughts =.='

By the way, I just turned 27.
Wihu! for the number :D

Little Things 105 : Curse & Blessing

I saw my life in pictures since 2009 from my own Instagram account. Kept scrolling those line of pictures until the very end when pixelated pictures were taken by previous lost iPod touch. So many things happened. So many moments and all I saw were just random memories ended with tragedies. 

I remember vividly every year's December. 

Big things always happen during my final month in a year.

Curse and blessing.

Things to remind me of where I've started and whom I've become. 

I am sorry for all those tragedies and pain.

I am sorry for all those tears and struggle.

I am sorry for repeating slots of memories, 

rewinding over and over again unable to play forward.

I am sorry for these unspoken words swimming in my thoughts.

I am sorry for every single things that happened.

If I can ease the pain, erase the memories, hide those feelings, I would.

But I can't.

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