Little Thing 324: Emotions Are Not Flaws

You know, I talk about pain a lot, kan? I'm not shy about being vulnerable because I've learned the importance of naming what I feel. Several years ago, when I wasn’t in the right space and spent more time in denial than awareness, I spiralled into anxiety and depression. It wasn’t sudden, it was a slow collapse from ignoring myself for too long. Over time, through learning about who I am, opening up, patching the holes, and trying to manage things on my own, I reached this point. And I know this for sure now: whenever I lie to myself for too long, I spiral. Whenever I deny what my heart is asking for, I spiral. If I ignore it, the anxiety symptoms come back, the ones I can recognise now, though I didn’t understand them back then.

So I don't lie anymore.

I’m much more open than I used to be. Other than the moments I retreat into my deep well, I’m vocal. It’s either the truth or complete silence. I don’t fabricate. I don’t sugarcoat. I don’t rewrite my own feelings just to keep the peace.

I learned to voice out my emotions in full sentences: “I’m anxious right now, and the reason is…”, “I’m stressed out, and these are the triggers…”, or “I don’t want this / I don’t like this because…”. Maybe it comes with age or experience, or maybe it’s simply because I’ve seen how lying about what I feel leads to more harm. And it’s not just emotional harm. Long-term emotional suppression and chronic stress really do shape the body, they influence the immune system, shift hormones, and make any underlying condition worse. The body absorbs everything we refuse to process.

So if you are not feeling good and you are not sure why. Listen. 

You’ll feel it physically: the withdrawal, the sudden weight changes, the loss of interest, the brain fog, the exhaustion that doesn’t go away, the indigestion, the random rashes, the jitters, the allergies, the anxiety spikes, the gastric episodes, the muscle tension, the vertigo, the headaches; all the small rebellions your body stages when your mind is carrying too much. A lot of these signals begin in the emotional landscape; they’re reminders that everything is connected. The body reflects what the psyche holds.

In the end, we don’t get to choose whether life gives us pain, but we do get to choose whether we meet it honestly. Awareness isn’t about fixing everything; it’s about refusing to negotiate with our own denial. It’s choosing to tell the truth because the body always knew it anyway. Maybe healing begins not with bravery, but with the simple decision not to lie to ourselves anymore. To name what hurts. To stay with the discomfort long enough for it to teach us something. 

And if someone tells you you’re “too emotional,” it’s fine. 

At least you’re not lying to yourself. At least you’re accepting that you’re human, and that feeling is not a flaw.

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Note: It took me 35 years to learn this and I am still managing it. So kids, listen to your emotions and learn how to manage it, don't deny it.  

I can see my siblings struggling in denial lately, and so, I'm just putting this out in the ether.

Little Things 310: When Emotions Speak

I read Leonard Mlodinow’s Elastic last year, and this week I finished another one of his books: Emotional: How Feelings Shape Our Thinking. I got a lot of useful input that I'm going to process and let it simmer in my brain pot for a while. 

Here are the points that really stayed with me and how I’ve seen them play out in my own life (Quick summary!):

1. Feel, don’t fight.
I’ve seen what repressed emotions can do. I’ve been through mental wars and even physical sickness because I tried to push feelings away. Now I try not to lie to myself anymore. I self-assess, face it, and work through it instead of avoiding. Emotions are signals: when I’m triggered, I ask myself; What’s the real message here? When I’m sad, I let myself grieve instead of acting strong. Whatever it is, I let it exist, take note, and go through it.

2. Flip the frame (reappraisal).
Nerves before a presentation? Instead of calling it fear, I tell myself it’s energy I can use to focus. Same sensation, different story. I do this a lot in life: when heartbreak feels like someone’s gripping my chest, I tell myself that I'm in pain, then I lace up and run. I don’t deny the pain, I channel it. That small reframing has saved me from falling into depression more than once.

3. Expression clears the clutter.
Journaling, ranting, drawing, sharing; these aren’t just hobbies, they’re mental decluttering tools. Science says so. (But honestly, I already knew because it works.)

4. Choose your vibe tribe.
Emotional contagion is real. Grow up with an anxious parent, and you carry anxiety. Live with a negative partner, and you slowly absorb that weight. But put yourself in a healthy, kind environment, and you can’t help but soften and be kinder, too. So I curate my emotional environment like I curate my books and playlists, carefully.

5. Emotions aren’t flaws.
They’re not dirt to scrub away. They’re tools, they shape our reality, they reveal who we are. Hard to rewire, sure, but learning about them; why they exist, how they move, gives us options, and maybe can help you to slowly heal.

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I hate it when my dad says I’m “too emotional,” like it’s a defect. It’s not. Yes, if I let my emotions control me, they’ll eat me alive. But I’ve always been curious about people, about the psychology behind it, about why we feel the way we do. My sensitivity fuels that curiosity.

I don’t ever want to stop learning what it means to be human.
At the end of the day, being emotional isn’t a flaw, it’s just part of being alive. And I think it’s okay whether you’re a tad too dramatic, feel a little too much, or fall a bit too intensely. As long as you keep learning and have the tools to manage it, let it be a part of who you are. Kan kan kan.

On the outside, I might seem like one of the most boring people on the social scale. But in my head, I live with a prism of emotions and endless curiosity that keeps me entertained. Without that inner world? I wouldn’t just be boring to others, I’d be boring to myself. So, I'm glad I'm the way I am. 

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I used Speechify to help me listen to this ebook. 

You can read along while it narrates (great for tough concepts), highlight key points to revisit later, and even pick chapters for AI-generated summaries. Basically, it’s the nerd’s dream toolkit. 

Feel free to try Speechify: Here's the link!