Little Stories 265 : Walking in the City with My Pikmin Scout

 

Walking with my Pikmin scout:

Since I started walking again, I searched for any walking/step count/game-related app and then I found Pikmin. They are like little elves creatures that are following me around. So basically I will find seeds along my path, I planted them and they will become little Pikmin. These Pikmin will help me collect more seeds, plant more flowers, and go on their own adventures. 

Apparently, it was launched in 2001 by Nintendo but I just found it this month. The more I walk, the more flowers I plant, and the more creatures I adopt. Or something like that lah. But it still needs some kind of engagement - I need to send them to mission, or plant the seed, or give them nectars to eat. It is not an app that can just simply be ignored on the phone. 

But I can track my walking steps, so it fits the purpose for now. They are not even that cute (yet). 

So yesterday I walked with them to the city, I wanted to return the books that I borrowed almost 2 weeks ago and replace them with more from the Tsubasa Chronicles. I planted flowers and found some new Pikmins in the city like the Rock Pikmins. I reached the 10k steps!

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I spent some time at the library browsing books, continued the group puzzle for 15 minutes, selected some books (that I already decided on long beforehand), and then I spent my time reading + having lunch at Sekalf in the Pasar Seni area, then I walked some more. Need to try the National Library next.

In case you are wondering why I'm not working, I am currently waiting for my client's feedback. I woke up early to send all drafts that morning, and then it was my rest day off so that I could focus solely on walking after being in quarantine for almost 2 weeks kan. 

Note: It is always a hot day in the city, so need to bring an umbrella + shades. 

Little Stories 264 : Caught the Bug, Again

I caught Covid at the end of Oct last year, and I caught it again around a year later. Didn't think the test would turn positive but it did. It started with a sore throat, mild watery nose, and feeling feverish. The next day, I was better but still had a sore throat and my nose was a bit watery (not even stuffy). I bought the test kit just to make sure.

Surprise surprise, not even 5 minutes in, the test kit turned positive. 

Apparently, I caught the bug again, perhaps during the Pekan trip at RnR that we stopped by, where we mostly mingle around with so many strangers during the festive season. 

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On Friday night, Sofi started developing a high fever. We suspected that she might caught the virus too because her fever was high - mostly around 39°C, almost reaching 40°C for 2 days straight (she never had those). We got her COVID's home kit test and tested her for both days but they were negative. Went to a doctor and the doctor asked to come again after the 3rd day if the fever was still there.

On the second night, it got a bit scary. She was delirious, she seemed to be seeing things or not seeing things, I wasn't sure. She ran and touched things like the pattern on her blanket, my bundled sweater on the bed, the book on the shelves, or my face, and then she seemed confused, all while her whole body was shaking so hard. Every time she woke up from sleep, she was clearly upset and confused. Her high fever was persistent the whole night, and we had to manually cool down her body using wet clothes. It finally calmed down before Subuh on the third day. The next thing I knew, she woke up in the morning and found me at my table in the other room. Alhamdulillah, I'm so glad. 

That afternoon on the 3rd day, she finally showered and brushed her teeth (she insisted that she smelled dadi's kontot on her and it was not her own breath) =.='

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My COVID this time around: (self-quarantine)

• Day 1 (Thu): Sore throat, watery nose, feeling feverish
• Day 2 (Fri): Sore throat, watery nose - tested positive
• Day 3 (Sat): Sore throat, watery nose
• Day 4 (Sun): Sore throat, mild cough
• Day 5 (Mon): Some wild cough (on random)
• Day 6 (Tue): Feeling like coughing
• Day 7 (Wed): Feeling fine & tested negative (yeay!)

Note: I got by with Difflam, daily hot tea, mixed with honey. Also, my symptoms are mostly focused on my throat: sore, prickly, sudden wild cough. So other than that, I got madu kelulut from my dad (I ate it twice a day), Af got me turmeric soft gummies to suck slowly, and dry cough syrup (that the pharmacist suggested).

Currently, I'm the only one that is tested positive and my home isolation order ends on Monday. But I will quarantine for longer lah. 

Mini Escapism : A Walk in KL & Perpustakaan Kuala Lumpur

I walked around 8 km in the city, approximately 14k steps - exceeding my early plan of walking 10k steps that day. I had to compile a video for a brand so I asked for my brother to help me shoot the reels. We started our walk in the Pasar Seni area, had breakfast in Flaaah, and then walked to Petaling Street, Central Market, Dataran Merdeka, had an iced coffee break, stopped by to explore the KL library, went back to Central Market, then Pasar Seni, and lastly had late lunch at The Garden.

 

It was mostly scorching hot but we had umbrellas and shades so I didn't experience migraine this time. I was drenched in sweat and smelled like a day well spent. It was a productive walking day.

I'm making an IG reel for Charby's Orbit 20w < (link here) power bank. I have been searching for a reliable power bank since I started walking in the city, found Orbit, and asked for a collaboration, they sent me one and I have been using it since then :

• MagSafe wireless 15W + Apple watch charging
• USB-C fast charging 20W
• charge multiple devices at once
• stand mode
• LED light
• safe for flights
• 5,000 mAh capacity, 2 hrs fully charged from 0%
• weigh only 149g, 
• smaller than my palm

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The KL Library

I was excited beyond words when I visited the library because it is a nice well-equipped, well-lighted, air-conditioned library and I wanted to visit there for quite a while. The fiction choices aren't that good, but the non-fiction (self-help, motivational, philosophy, psychology) are quite OK and they also have manga that I wanted to read and not collect. There is also a kid's section on the lower floor, so I'm planning to bring Sofi there on the weekend to get her a library membership.

I created a library account right away and borrowed 3 books (need to return them within 2 weeks' time), promising myself to spend many more futures in the library. It will be my safe haven from now on. Other than a pantry where you can buy food/drinks on the first floor, and so many hidden spaces to hide or do work, the library is also located near a cafe called KLGB Confectionary & bakery (just next to the building), where they sell so many beautiful pastries and coffees. We can spend hours with free books.

Need I say more? ❤︎₊ ⊹

The closest MRT is MRT Pasar Seni so you'll need to walk around 10 minutes to get there. 

I am so happy, you have no idea. This is the best present for me. 

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Here are more pictures from that day:

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But later on, after I arrived home, I felt a bit unwell. My throat was prickly and dry, my nose was watery, and it was so cold to be in contact with water. I felt sick, somewhat feverish, and my whole body was aching. Don't know what that was. I decided to wear a mask at home (in case it is COVID), then fed Sofi dinner, waited for Af, and just let him manage Sofi because I was in dire need of rest. Zzz.

Little Stories 263 : The Month I Don't Feel Like Writing

Just Food Photo

I love taking photos of food even when I'm at home alone, especially when it is full of colours and there is morning light coming from the kitchen window. Between us siblings, we always pass these food-pictures-of-the-day in our group chat. Just because we make an effort to eat properly that day and the visual aesthetic is nice. It is rather insensitive to post these pictures on my public social media when people are dying of hunger, so I posted them on private ones because I personally like them - IG for beautiful food ❤︎₊ ⊹ 

These foods, even though they are packed with nutritious fiber and protein, they always make me bloat afterward. So I tried adding probiotics after meals as well, and if the pain is still bad, I will take Moom's de/bloat to ease the pain and do intermittent fasting. 

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One Outing Day

That day, I went out with Ms Chin for our borak2 session. I think the last time I met her was in Aug before her Hokkaido and Georgia trips. We sat at Christine's for 3 hours, just talking. I haven't had that for so long, and I don't even know that it is possible to sit & talk anymore without phones as a distraction. I'm trying to convince her to do one of the walking pilgrimages together :F

Then my brother came and treated me to a late lunch.

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Back in Pekan

We finally went back to Pekan during the Deepavali holiday. I originally planned to go back in early Oct, but we postponed it so many times. So when last weekend finally came, despite the long traffic because it was a public holiday and weather warning prediction in Pantai Timur, we just proceeded with the plan. Sokseksoksek, all went well.

We started our journey at 9am, and we arrived at my aunty's home around 5 pm. So..yeah. It was a long hour on the road and I was overstimulated, but the next day was a calm and mostly silent-slow day, so it was worth it. We went to 3 beaches that afternoon: Pantai Lagenda, Pantai Tanjung Gosong, and Pantai Saujana Biru. Have I ever mentioned that I don't like our local beaches that much? Because beaches are too bright for my sensitive eyes and it is always too hot. I rather have cozy greenery and shady nature. 

Oh, and I also ate so much food in Pekan that I was bloated and feeling unwell even days later. 

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Awan

Awan is between 11 & 12 years old now.

If she is a human, she would be graduating from lower school, reaching puberty, and turning into a teenager. But she is a senior cat, so she is in her 60s (in her cat's year). She seems okay with everything, just living her golden life at home, not bothered with anything. 

I don't touch her often because I'm allergic to her fur nowadays, since she started shedding her fur badly. But she seems to feel super comfortable with Af and they get along well, so that's good. 

Little Thing 274 : How Nostalgic Are You?

I wouldn't deny it, I'm not much of a hoarder but I keep stuff with personal stories. 

The rainbow moonstone, I got it before Sofi. I was trying to get pregnant and was struggling for several years. It was unexplained infertility, and I never understood it. I bought the moonstone as a symbol of fertility to remind myself of that phase.  

I got the lucky cat from a boy I liked when I was around 15 - we shared the same birthday and were the same stubborn, second-child, wildly lost but silent rebellious teenagers. I think we saw each other like facing a mirror, I can see the things that I hated in myself from him. Nothing much came from the teenage relationship, it wasn't anything serious. He moved schools, and we continued our lives. But the cat stayed, as a reminder of my sweet innocent teenage crush. 

The bracelets are my symbols, 3 round + 1 cuboid net stones because I was born on the 3rd Jan. The cuboid stone bracelet was a gift from AF, it matches my shungite necklace that I have worn for the past 2 years (before that it was a trapezoid-shaped shungite). Ask him what the bracelet means. Then I bought the other 3 round net stones myself, the net stones came from basic stones that are not special, the mediocre large stones. I love how there's nothing special about them except for the meaning that I put in them. 

You know, shungite, is pure carbon just like a diamond, but the difference is its molecular structure of the carbon. Even though it is made of pure carbon, it is not crystallized like a diamond so it looks different. Shungite is mostly solid black, and diamond, you know how diamonds are. I love how people put value on things based on their outer appearance in general. That's why I chose shungite, it is a representation of how I see the world. I was asked several times whether it was a 'tangkal', just because it was a black stone. 

That Sirotan seals that are holding hands, that one I got from a gashapon in the airport, on our first visit to Japan together. I think we had the last 500 yen coin and we wanted to spend it on something. Then I got the Sirotan couple. It was sweet.

The Taro san is also special. We went to the Expo Park in Osaka, not knowing anything about the place, but it was one of my most magical moments in Japan, and I met the Tower of the Sun. It was so memorable so I wanted to buy something to remind myself of the place. That small Taro sun cost 500 yen, but it was worth it because you can't find it anywhere else. It is not the Eiffel Tower or the Pyramid, it is the Tower of the Sun, and it is almost cultist that I can't even explain the inside joke.

The candle was just a gift from my sister, it smelled of wood sage. It is by this local company called Lampu Cherita.

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I've been thinking about what to keep, what to donate, what to sell, and what to let go lately because we might move out soon. So I've been contemplating what's important and what's not. A lot of the stuff accumulated in the house is somewhat important to me because of these little stories, but there are stuff that I don't know what to do, and stuff that I don't want to handle yet too. 

Do I want to keep 20-year-old Diana Wynne's YA novels because those were the fantasies that I grew up with? Do I want to keep all my notebooks, or unused old MacBook from my uni-days, or how about the trinkets? The old paintings? The unused stationery? All Jodi Picoult's novels? :F

Books : A Conversation on Self-Help Book and More Talk on Books

 

Book Conversation:

I was exploring Kino last week to go through books that I might want. I stayed over 2 hours in there alone. While I was in the Self-Help/Motivational section, there was a group of young ladies searching for books near me, and I tried making myself small so that they could walk past me. They were loud and excited, so it was impossible not to listen to their conversation.

I remember this part when one of the women pointed to Mark Manson's books: Everything is F*cked - a Book About Hope and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, then she asked her friend whether they are any good. Her friend answered "NO. These books are for people who don't read but want to look like they read.", she answered in the most self-righteous way that I can't help but get offended just by listening to her.

Here's my opinion on self-help books. 

It is really hard to define a self-help book because usually, you can relate to a book when the time is right for you. You can read something and find it annoying, and several years in the future you read it again then you feel like all the words were written for you for that moment and it becomes your new fav. So for me, I don't really have any definite opinion on self-help books because they exist to help us in their own way at the right time.

In 2020-2021, I had anxiety, and I remember that it was really hard for me to stick to a book or even finish one. Anxiety was new for me during that time and I didn't know how to manage it. I think I only managed to consume around 50 books each year because focusing was a struggle when you have anxiety. Those were the COVID lockdown & big Gaza attacks year.

Then I tried Mark Manson's book:  Everything is F*cked - a Book About Hope. Somehow behind all those vulgar advice and reminders, I managed to find some kind of peace. I learned to understand how to manage my emotions when dealing with big stuff beyond our control. I listened to his audiobooks so it felt like a friend acknowledging my worries and reminding me about how the world works. It was simple, direct, and precise. Everything I needed at that time.

So for me, you can't simply say 'These kinds of books are books written for people who don't read but wanted to look like they read" just because it didn't resonate with you or your values or your preferences. As someone who loves books and wants people to read more, I would say that it is an easy-to-read book for people who want something like assurance in a f*cked-up world and wouldn't mind feeling offended by his views, style of writing, and his thoughts. 

It isn't for everybody and I'm NOT recommending it on any level. Please don't read it just because I wrote about it. 

PS - There's a documentary on Netflix - The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, if you want to watch it, by the writer himself. 

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Books I Consumed in October + November :

• Vladimir by Julia May Jonas
• Secret Pandemic by Simone Heng
• Bittersweet by Susan Cain
• The 40 Rules of Love by Elif Shafak
• When We Were Bright & Beautiful by Jillian Medoff
• Unbecoming by Joanne Fedler
• Your Story by Joanne Fedler
• Failosophy by Elizabeth Day
• A Quitter's Paradise by Elysia Chang

• Vladimir and When We Were Bright and Beautiful have the almost same theme but different tones and storylines. Not that great for me, but just okay lah, 3 stars books. 
• Secret Pandemic - About loneliness & isolation, what it does to your brain, how to establish a connection, and how to understand it, the writer wrote in a semi-memoir kind of writing so a lot of personal anecdotes (which I appreciate)
• Bittersweet - I loved it, I wrote a post about it here. 
• The 40 Rules of Love is one of my time fav, I read this one before and decided to listen to the audiobook this time. This book is a bit personal for me.
• Unbecoming - Conversation between women on topics about children, menopause, life after children, female struggles, mid-life crisis, marriage, etc. An eye-opener, I'm preparing myself.
• Your Story: How to Write It So Others Will Want to Read It - After Unbecoming, I listened to another one of her books on writing. The writer is a writing teacher, she shared a lot of insightful knowledge on writing and story-telling. I will listen to it again and take notes.  
• Failosophy : A Handbook for When Things Go Wrong - Basically the whole premise is IT IS OKAY TO FAIL. Here are 7 key principles of failure: 
1. Failure just is 
2. You are not your worst thoughts. 
3. Almost everyone feels they’ve failed in their 20s. 
4. Break-ups are not a tragedy 
5. Failure in data acquisition 
6. There is no such thing as a future you 
7. Being open about your vulnerabilities is the ultimate act of strength
• A Quitter's Paradise - A Chinese American woman grieving over her mother's death and starting on a journey to self-discovery in learning about who she is as a person, it goes back and forth between the present time and the past time (her family's life since before the immigration)

Other than Bittersweet and 40 Rules of Love, all the other books are available on Everand (which used to be called Scribd). If you want to try Everand, here's a 2 months trial for you. 

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I feel like I haven't had that much time with books lately, the week I commute to work, I didn't read or listen to any audiobooks, because I was mentally and physically tired (I was just too busy). Then after that week, I started to catch up, that's why the list grew. I think I only finished 3 books in October then suddenly all the other books were consumed in the last 7 days. 

Little Stories 262 : The Glasses, the Fever, the Works and New IC

More stories by the end of October:

Blood Donation:

I arrived, had lunch, registered, and I was stuck during the health checkup process: blood count was 'just enough', I was supposed to get my period that day, and if I donated my blood, I would get anemic symptoms later so the doctor suggested me to not make a donation that day. Also, my blood pressure was low, below 100 (as per usual). So she asked me to try again preferably 2 weeks after the menses.

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The Glasses:

I forgot to mention about the glasses. Well, Sofi accidentally stepped on my glasses when I asked her to hug me. Thankfully, I still have backup glasses that I don't usually wear because of the rubber nose pads that leave a mark on my nose bridge and the prescription is not even enough because I got it around 2 years back. 

Here's the last selfie that morning before it happened:

So I ordered a new one, not that different from the one before but this time with an updated prescription, in solid black instead of transparent black, with a sunglass clip-on, blue light, UV protection - all done.

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The Slight Fever and The Job:

I was not even a week into the new job when Sofi caught a slight fever and diarrhea. So, I had to stay at home with her. I didn't know whether this was a sign or a level I needed to figure out and get through. 

Ma said that she knew I would reject the job because it was almost impossible at this moment. At least until the end of the year after I change Sofi's kindergarten and find somewhere that offers extra-hour care. This job requires me to work for extra hours, outstation and travel to client sites, and also full commitments to managing the design team, and it is fast-paced, none of the things that I could offer now. So that night after Sofi fell asleep, I decided to tell the boss about my issues and decision because I was supposed to start officially on the 1st Nov - and I had to tell them before the stated date. 

I didn't start officially on the 1st Nov, but I had 3 days trial the week before and everything was chaotic at home during the trial. Other than having to drag my siblings to help pick up Sofi (none were keen to do it every day), I also had to rush back home, it took almost an hour before I arrived at Sofi's kindergarten, and then the dinner had to be prepared fast because when she's hungry, it became chaotic and dramatic. She's also not used to the long hours at school and she rarely spends time with me nowadays, so there was a day when she threw a tantrum and I grew impatient as well, then she screamed and cried while I was cooking and shouting at her. I even threw something on the floor - probably a spoon because I was also on the verge of hysteria (imagine cooking while someone is crying on the floor next to you). That day was a disaster and not healthy for both of us. Yes, I said sorry to her that night for losing my patience, I was the adult and she was the 4-year-old who missed her mom and who was hangry. 

I know being a full-time working mother is a challenging pursuit but I need to find some kind of balance, and this job doesn't offer anything near that. So, I rejected that one even though the title was great for the portfolio and the pay was nice. 

But, Alhamdullillah, I got 2 new clients' projects two days later. 

I think I'm on the right path and I trust the process. 

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The New IC:

Okay, this part is new. I didn't know the TnG in our IC could expire this early. 

The TnG chip in my IC expired this year and I had to renew the card. There is this website by our government where we have access to 'Information and Government Services Based On Life Events', called MyGovernment. So I registered (need to use Chrome) and applied to renew my card, and then it was ready to be picked up at JPN Putrajaya within 30 minutes. 

It was super easy and it cost RM 10 only. I renewed my card on Friday and I picked it up on Monday (the day Sofi had a fever), I went to the building, went up to the 2nd floor, went to the counter, told the lady I wanted to pick up my renewed card, she gave me a number, I put my number at counter 26, and waited for my number to be called. Then showed them my receipt, and gave them my old card, he cut it, and he passed me a new one. That's it. 

I think the whole pickup process took less than 15 minutes in total.

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The Weekend Treat:

Oh yes, Af also treated us to a mini staycation at Putrajaya on the weekend - I think because he felt bad for not spending time with Sofi for so long since he became too busy with work, outstation, and his freelance job. 

I bought the most beautiful shimmery bubble bath in pink for Sofi and we had fun playing in the bathtub - I think the water was a bit too hot but in an air-cond room, that's why she had a slight fever on Monday, hah hah hah. Compared to the bath bomb, I think bubble bath liquid is much more satisfying. 

Little Stories 261 : Story Time, Half-Marathon Update, and New Work Schedule

Some stories collected since last week:

Sleep Time:

Sofi and I started a new routine: story time before sleep after we turned off the lights. Usually, our routine would be me reading 1-3 books to her then we go to sleep, but because I'm already too bored with repeating the same books repeatedly, I started the story-telling time. 

For me, creating a simple short story is easy, and I didn't even know I could do it promptly (they aren't perfect but good enough for a 4-year-old). I'm also training her to tell her own story. 

Here's my fav from Sofi:

One day, Elsa walks in the park. There's a poop on her hair. The end =.=

She finds poop-story hilarious.  

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The Half-Marathon:

Okay, I didn't have time for proper training so I wasn't confident that I could even do 15 km. So I told my brother *who was supposed to accompany me as my pace runner but didn't register in time. Then he said, just sell the bib. I didn't know people did that, so because I just didn't want to make any decision at this moment, I asked the universe to help me decide: if someone wanted to buy the bib then I don't run, but if no one buys it, I will run. 

Just several hours after he listed the bib, someone requested to buy it, contacted me directly, paid the fees, and picked up the bib + t-shirt that night on the same day. 

So, I don't have to run 21 km tomorrow night.  

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Work-Time:

Did I mention that I started working in a new job full-time this week? The boss requested me to come in a week early, I'm not even fully mentally prepared for this. But like I said, I don't want to make any decision at this moment, so I just follow the path.

I finished one of my client's work already but 2 more clients are still in the draft phase, so I'm trying to manage them when I wake up early in the morning. Yes, I still automatically wake up around 3.40 a.m. every day. 

About work? Well, work is work. I'm still not used to being in the office for hours on end, 5 days a week. The last time I did that was in 2016. I know, my rebellious heart won't tahan this fixed routine life so I'm still searching for other options but in the meantime, I'm trying my best to stay on the course. That is why I can relate with Knulp or Siddhartha in Hermann Hesse's books or stories about wandering dervishes that can't stay in one place. I know myself, being stuck in a rigid office schedule in an office just doesn't work for me :F 

But my mom is so happy because her daughter is now a Junior Art Director in an agency - let's fake it till you make it.

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Balik Kampung 

We were supposed to go back to Pekan in early Oct, but things kept on happening every week so we postponed until last week. Like suddenly Sofi got her kindergarten portrait day scheduled, or I got interviews, then Sofi got a school trip to the fire station, then I got a job offer and had to rush up all clients' works or this and that.

Last week was our final week before I started working full-time, and then we finally canceled when my boss asked me to start work early. So we had a staycation at my sister's house. We went out shopping for groceries and had a grilled and syabu-syabu session on Saturday, and we did more shopping the next day. Just a fun weekend with my siblings and my mom. 

Oh, and there was a free health checkup at Aeon that day. I did a blood pressure and glucose checkup and everything looks normal. Also, now that I don't have to do a half-marathon, I can proceed with donating my blood again. 

Next blood donation drive:

• Aeon Equine: 28 & 29 Oct, 10 am - 5 pm
• Aeon Cheras: 28 Oct, 10 am - 5 pm

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PS: I also got in for this year's Comic Fiesta but decided to not attend this year around, perhaps next year if I manage to make something solid to sell 🤲

Note: I will update all the pictures when I have time.

Little Stories 260 : The Fall, the Rain and Oct in General

Some stories collected since last week:

The fall:

Early last week, it was raining when we were walking back after I picked up Sofi from kindergarten. Then we walked past the shop's corridor, and because it was raining heavily, 3 dogs were resting along the corridor so we couldn't pass through - they conquered the space. I stepped back in the rain while holding Sofi's hand, umbrella, and her bags. 

Then we were climbing down the wet slippery stairs from the corridor, I accidentally slipped in slow-motion and fell down right on the stairs in the rain - still holding Sofi's hand. She was okay, still standing, she became my anchor (lol, that's the metaphor in my life - me slowly falling but having her to be my anchor). 

My butt was still floating but my back was on the steps, and it wasn't a hard crash but still, I slipped on the wet stairs. Thank God it was 'almost' in slow motion, so nothing was broken or slipped. Things could be worst but it didn't and thank God for that. I was sore for 4 days after that, and after a week it felt fine but there was still a tiny sensation in my left pelvis when I walked fast.

I haven't run for almost 2 weeks because it has been a bit overwhelming lately, the fog, the fall, the rain, and the workload.

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October:

For several months everybody ghosted me - clients, bosses, people in general. It was weird, frustrating, and sure, it made me question my existence. I was angry a lot because I had to go through the process of stagnance - I don't have patience with not being productive, or feeling stuck. 

Then October came and my life started to change its course. From constant dullness into a full-speed change: I got client work projects (more than 3 different clients in a fortnight), I got contacted for interviews and I got job offers, then I accepted a job offer for a full-time spot. So I had to finish up client work that I accepted in a month before reporting to duty. That's one. Update: My boss decided that he needed me to come in a week early.

It's a lot, I only have less than 2 weeks to go. We had to find a solution for many things like how to pick up Sofi from kindergarten when I'm working full-time. A 3-hour-per-day babysitter costs as much as RM 1,200 per month when asked for a quotation, Sofi is already in a full-day daycare until Dec, and even that costs around RM 800 per month. That's two.

Sofi isn't reacting well to the daycare program. I can see that she starts to refuse to go to school and she cries in the morning - we never had that problem in the past 8 months before she started going full-day. She was usually excited about school. But she has been having tantrums and attachment issues lately. She is not adapting well and it has been 1.5 months. That's three.

It's tough, ok. 

So if one day, Sofi is all grown-up and she reads all this: 

To Sofi, I would want you to know, that we've done many things together in the past 4 years in your newborn & toddler phases. Now comes the time that I need to sacrifice my time with you so that I can provide a better life. I'm just following the flow that is created for me, and at this moment, this is the best that I was offered and I'm accepting it. We won't have that much time together but I hope, we can make do with what we have at this moment and probably there will be new opportunities in the future that could provide a better option for us. So please don't hold on to this. 

I'm writing this because I know, I held on to the fact that my parents weren't there during my childhood and teenage years when I needed them the most - but they were just human and surviving, just like me, just like you will one day in the future. 

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Ma's Birthday:

We celebrated my mom's birthday last weekend.

It was weird and I was just physically there but in my mind, I was elsewhere. I had a bad stomach issue that day, we were at a hi-tea and supposed to eat a lot - but who still can eat a lot in their late 30s? I can't, it was not a good decision. I only ate a plate and took a small bowl of noodles that I couldn't even finish, then I started going to the toilet, 3 times in those 2 hours we were there. I was sweaty, I confused it with anxiety but it was probably just a bad stomach issue. 

After we passed the cake and presents, I walked along the corridor. I did several rounds and reached 3 km in those walks. Then they all sat on the sofa along the hotel corridor and opened the presents there because I was not feeling good and had to walk. Needed to be near the toilet. Tsk. 

So I was not mentally there because I was dealing with my gut issues.

But in pictures, I looked good because of the technology: the filter and the built-in auto-correct feature in my mom's phone or whatever that was that made me look younger and radiant. Don't trust anything you see online. I was miserable. 

But happy birthday ma.

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Toys:

I really wanted to play with bricks toys specifically Lego. Not only for Sofi but for me.

But Sofi got so many toys and we had to deal with that first. So I'm selling her old toys that she didn't want to play with anymore on Carousell and I'm surprised that people are buying. 

So I ordered a pastel Lego classic because of the colours, of course. How would I design cute blocks without pastel coloured bricks kan. It felt ridiculous to say this, but I felt like my childhood dreams were redeemed once I started playing with Sofi. I didn't know how fulfilling it could be. But, although they are in pastel and have special items: various eyes, antennas, whiskers, triangles, and odd shapes, they weren't as many as I needed to make a big building. So, I'm searching for used Lego classics on Carousell to add to our Lego bricks. 

You can buy it from Shopee: LEGO 11028 Classic Creative Pastel.

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The Gaza Genocide:

This is not rocket science, you don't have to think twice to know that what's happening in Gaza is a genocide, they should stop pretending like this is a war. It is obvious, that they are killing every Palestinian in Gaza. No one is safe, no children, no healthcare providers, no journalists, no hospitals, no neutral space, no food, no water, nothing. 

So take a stance. 

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The Rain :

It rained heavily again yesterday, and I was picking up Sofi from school like usual. We were stuck at the kindergarten for some time, and then I said to Sofi that we needed to try walking home. Sofi didn't like the wet feet, or the feel of dirt on her wet slippers, those tiny sands, you know, wet slippers in the rainy day kinda thing - I wholly understand because I was also a sensory-sensitive child, I don't like wet slippers or sand. Ha.

So halfway through she refused to walk, she let go of her umbrella, and she cried because what do you expect when it is just not a good sensation for a 4-year-old to have her feet wet with water and dirt. Sabo je lah. We had to stop at the school and I comforted her and told her that we needed to walk back home. She refused, of course. She cried and she wanted me to carry her. I eventually had to carry her halfway walk home, in the heavy rain, with a small umbrella, and 2 of her bags. We were almost fully drenched by the time we got home, my arms were shaking because 14 kg weight is quite a lot for untrained arms. 

Practicing gentle parenting is hard, but I refuse to use an authoritarian style on a toddler because I know, I know what it felt like and the effects on us - my dad was one, and his dad was one. But then, you know how toddlers love to challenge us kan, like I said, sabo je lah.

Little Thing 273 : Passive Income

If you are curious about selling ebooks on Etsy as a passive income, let me share this with you. To be fair, they do all the charging and tax paying and fees and segala benda for you lah so you don't have to worry about the messy part. 

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Here goes:

I am selling the ebook for $6, that's around RM 30.39 last week.

• processing fees (4.5% + RM 2.00) = - RM 3.37
• VAT (remitted to tax authorities) = - RM 2.76 
• transaction fee (6.5% of item total) = - RM 1.84
• VAT transaction = - RM 0.11
• VAT processing fees = - RM 0.20
• deposit fee (to bank) = - RM 8.00
• VAT deposit fee = - RM 0.48
• auto listing fee = -RM 0.94
• VAT auto listing = -RM 0.06

So from the RM 30, I finally got RM 12.63.

I've been selling these ebooks since 2020, and I let it roll by itself because it never really makes that much money for me and I just wanted to make these zines available all over the world (that was my main intention). Since 2020, I got around 40 orders, accumulated to roughly less than 300$ USD - that's it. So, mende lah sgt kan, in case LHDN ingat kita buat beribu2 kan, yg berapa sen ni pun da setel bayar tax. The buyers are random from Etsy users so I don't even have to promote or do anything as long as the listing exists in the Etsy realm. 

But then, I guess people started traveling again and they are searching for travel zines to Japan - and so the sales came up lately. Hence, I stopped by at my Etsy and looked around. One thing that I changed is the deposit schedule from once every fortnight to once every month to reduce the transaction fees. Other than that, I can't do anything else. 

These are mediocre zines that as an artist, I don't want to see anymore because of how ugly they look in my eyes after several years. But still, useful for some people. 

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Sure, there are other options:

• like selling on our own website 
• also sites like Gumroad

But I'm too lazy to promote, do any selling, or become active on social media to let people know or urge people to buy these mediocre ezines, and to think about tax fees and everything. I just want them to exist, attract their own buyers, run their own course, and Etsy seemed to do the job. Lagipun org luar je yg beli ezines, org kita nak physical copy..

Etsy is a huge platform, it is reliable, but it is pricy and nowadays you need to pay extra to be seen by mass users. It's a love-hate relationship lah.

Again, I just do it for fun, dapat RM 10 per ebook pun ok lah. 

Boleh laa buat beli eskrim utk family.