Little Stories 256 : About Walking Last Week (and book search, of course)

 

Last week I decided to watch Barbie, after spending many days working in front of the computer. I think I deserve a rest, so I got ready, went out early in the morning in the hard rain, and took the Grab to IOI. On the way to IOI, suddenly my sister texted me, asking what I was doing (on that random morning, on a weekday) and I told her that I was on my way to watch Barbie. At that exact moment, the plan instantly changed and she was there with me to watch Barbie. I was somewhat annoyed because she invited herself (I thought it was my personal day off), but later on, I was glad because:

1. GSC no longer accepts cash, they don't even have a manual ticket counter and on that particular day, I only had cash. So she saved the plan and we managed to buy tickets to watch Barbie. 
2. We bought a 1030 am movie on a weekday, so there was literally no one else except for us in the cinema. Imagine if I only went there alone, in a dark secluded place, if anything happens, then no one would know. 

So I learned 3 things on that day: 

1. Cash alone is no longer reliable, always bring along digital money with you. 
2. Don't watch movies during the off-peak time, alone. If you are alone, watch it during peak time instead. Or at least see if anyone else already booked any other seats so you won't be literally alone in there.  
3. Things happen because they need to happen, you might feel annoyed at first because you didn't expect it, but eventually, the right reasons will reveal themselves and you'll be glad that it happened *hopefully.

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Ok.

Moving forward several days later, I was supposed to meet my boss that afternoon. Like any normal person meeting her employer, I prepared early, called in Grab on another rainy morning, and headed to the office on a train. Halfway to the office, my boss postponed the meetup, again. 

I was prepared mentally to spend the day in the city after the meetup, right. So I didn't want to go home just yet. Yes, I was again, somewhat annoyed by the change of plan. I made a stop at Pasar Seni, went to a random cafe, and spent several hours reading Conversations with Friends until the very last page. It was a blissful silent morning, having to read without distraction. I had a matcha latte and a plain croissant (and apparently, that was my only food of the day). I sat there until I finished reading and then there were a couple of people who decided to sit next to my table and spent the entire time trying to get the nicest selfies to post on social media, they were loud and happy, and I felt that I should go. 

I didn't have any plans, I was in the middle of the busy city on a Friday afternoon. So I walked and walked and walked. I know about the Junk Book Store in Bukit Bintang, but the last time I went there, the used books were quite pricy, even more expensive than new books in Bookxcess. I walked from Pasar Seni station to Central Market, I tried to find the Used Bookstore in CM but apparently, it was closed down. I explored the place, it's been a while since I spent time in CM (*it held histories). Then from CM, I went back to Pasar Seni, I needed cheap books, so I headed to The Garden to go to Artfriend and Bookxcess. Bought some supplies and some books, and walked some more until it was late in the afternoon, it rained heavily again, and felt like I used up the time to recharge well that day.

There, a good day was spent on books and walking.

I wish I was in a city where cheap used books can be found everywhere, but I'm not and books are really expensive in Malaysia. Too bad my hobby is expensive to maintain. 

Here are some of the bookstores I went to this year:

• Eslite at Bukit Bintang
• Kinokuniya at KLCC
• MPH at Nu Sentral
• Tsutaya Bukit Jalil
• Books & Bobs, GMBB
• Bookxcess at The Garden
• Bookxcess at REX KL
• Bookxcess at MyTown

Okay, I will try the National Library next time and see if their book listing improved over the years.

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And on Sunday, I went out for a hilly run. 

Specifically a hill run because I needed the training and the hardship of doing something I didn't like so I could rise above. Later I was sore all over the whole day. 

Random : Books Lately, Converting to Threads, and Random Updates

What's old, what's new:

• The day Elon decided to change Twttr's logo to 'X', I deactivated my Twttr account and opened a Threads account. I don't think he cares about his users, so it doesn't matter. I just don't want him to win. He is the epitome of toxic masculinity.
• I got an invite to Moss Fest by Mossery last weekend. I'm both honored and excited, but I'm planning to write about the whole event later.
• I printed new colouring zines and reprinted Quaranzine because I sold out all copies (and I need to restock to Stickerrific).
• I've been doing design work again (with my supposedly new 'boss'), but I've been having impostor syndrome and I believe I can't design anything. It is so tough, having to push my mind into thinking that this is all just a phase, that I need to confront my own depressive mode affecting my creativity. Fin fin fin. 
• Broom's Cafe matcha latte with its substitute milk was divine (forgot whether it was oat/almond/soy), but it was so beautiful I could cry. 
• I saw ImpactMints' new box design and I had to buy it, I tried to find the peach flavor but only could find a blackcurrant one in pastel purple. For the longest time, the only version I could find was the ones with the collaboration with Kakao - didn't like that version. You know, even after more than 10 years, the smell sticks.
• I've been listening to 'one-book-per-day' lately. I don't know how I managed to do that though, perhaps because I've been spending a lot of time alone lately:
• Friday: Days at Morasaki Bookshop by Satoshi Yagisawa
• Monday: Yellowface by RF Kuang
• Tuesday: Women Talking by Miriam Toews
• Wednesday: Pure by Kim Alexander
• Thursday: Bedtime Story by Chloe Hopper

I have limited books to choose from based on what's available on Scribd, so I am not that picky - as long as it is an engaging story, I'll take it. Not going to complain about the free book options ok. So, it has been an interesting ride so far because I didn't know much about these books when I chose them. Usually, I'll just wear my earphone throughout the day and play the audiobook (while sending/picking up Sofi from school, while cooking, while doing chores and work, or drawing). 

I'm really excited about books lately because I've been writing a lot (but I don't want to jinx it). But haven't I been excited about books for as long as anyone can remember? 

• Days at Morasaki Bookshop was a feel-good book, relaxing, if you want to destress.
• Yellowface was an interesting book, I'm new to issues like Asian white-washing, racism, cultural appropriation, the book publishing industry, and social media bullying. So it was an interesting and engaging story for me.
• Women Talking was an eye-opening and thought-provoking book, it is painful to imagine that this was based on a real event. This book adds up my distrust for the entirety of men. I have so many emotions mixed inside while listening to this. Also, how grateful I am for having the freedom to have education and access to knowledge. 
• Pure was pure entertainment, like watching chick-lit on Netflix. Falling in love with a unicorn in a mortal body? This felt like my early 20s kinda book and slightly felt like a soft-porn? It felt silly at times, but I'm too serious most of the time, let's chill a bit.
• Bedtime Story is a beautifully written book, a memoir, and perhaps, we can call it a manual on how to tell children 'the hard truth', about sickness, cancer, and dying. As a mother myself, this book is a reminder to think ahead about these issues and how to confront these big questions. I would come back to this book if I needed it someday :F

Note: Please let me read many good books, Amin~

Little Things 267 : Drowning On The Land

I'm having a hard time falling asleep, and I keep waking up around 3 - 4 am, a bit too early to start my day. Crampy stomach pain, tense shoulder, dissociation, moody, and a bit too stressed out. This keeps on repeating every few weeks like a pattern. I know myself too much to not notice this - I'm struggling, right? I don't have to talk my mind out of it or try to talk in riddles to lessen the impact. It is what it is, even the mere attempt to convince me to believe in the process is stressing me out.

Look what I found last night - so beautifully written, it sums up my whole existence in one poetic line : 

--

Note : What was it, the dream that I had between the wake at 3 am and the next wake at 4 am just now? Oh, Alex Turner, practicing session at my uni, and was it Tian, coming down for a bombing? Nothing is more random than having them both in my dream, working. 

Random : Who Are You During a Zombie Apocalypse ?

There is an interesting field to discuss on the topic of morals and ethics during a zombie apocalypse. A whole lot of philosophical questions that are worth your nerdy brain to pick on, especially on the 'uncomfortable' what-ifs questions, what is right and wrong during extreme circumstances, who you are as a person, and who you 'really' are in an apocalypse.

These are some questions on morals or ethics that I love to question "myself" because I love challenging my thinking abilities when I watch fictional films, especially about the apocalypse (even though I get triggered easily and I don't feed myself with this kind of content as freely as other people, or I assume). Plus you'll get to know the person better by asking them these hard questions, it's always an interesting pov to learn from.

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Questions I love asking people if they've finally watched/played The Last of Us or layan The Walking Dead *spoiler alert*:

• If you were in Joel's situation, what would you have done? Would you save Ellie or would you sacrifice Ellie to help the finding of the possible vaccine for mankind?  
• If there is a zombie apocalypse, do you want to be the one that chases others or the one that runs away and is being chased?  
• Would you surrender and follow a cultish commune, or would you create one yourself, or perhaps you'd be a lone ranger, OR you choose to be a zombie right away because what is the meaning of LIFE in an apocalyptic world? (So choose: Negan, Rick, Daryl, or Carol) 
• Would you create another human ie get pregnant during an apocalypse? (Maggie & Glenn, helloo?)
• Would you eat a human to survive or you rather die from starvation? 
• Would you sacrifice your moral values to survive and to what extent?
• What would your long-term strategy be during a zombie outbreak? Survive for as long as you can? Make allies, find a group? Become a zombie or suicide?
• If everyone you know is already dead/turned into a zombie, would you still stay around?

These are some of the questions that I love to ask people (ok, maybe the 'people' are just Af and my siblings). So now, I'm asking you to ask yourself: who you are as a person right now and who you are during a zombie apocalypse.

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What is moral and what is ethic?

In the simplest explanation, morals are our own principles, what you believe is right and ethics refer to the societal systems or rules on what everyone agrees is right or acceptable. Your moral values can change if your belief or what you hold on to change, but usually ethical rules don't change as easily without the acceptance of the whole tribe.

For example, if cannibalism is accepted in a tribe/commune during a zombie apocalypse, it is the ethically right thing to do to survive starvation for them, but maybe not for you because you feel it is morally wrong to eat another human being. So, what would you do? 

Random : End of May Post

 

The books I consumed :

• Notes on Grief by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (recommended*)
• No Happy Ending by Nora McInerny
• Good Girls Don't by Mara Wilson
• Cassandra Speaks by Elizabeth Lesser (recommended*)
• Transit by Rachel Cusk
• Happening by Annie Ernaux
• Yasmin, How You Know?
• To Paradise by Hanya Yanagihara
  
• Anxiety by The School of Life (recommended*)
• Wandering Souls by Cecile Pin
• C. G. Jung: The Basics by Ruth Williams

During Ramadhan, I hardly finish any books. I can only start but can't seem to finish it (that's why reading To Paradise took 6 weeks). But I'm no longer fasting so I've been listening and reading to books again at my normal pace. So those are all the books I finished since Ramadhan. 

I'm reading 50 philosophical classics (a summary by Tom Butler-Bowdon), every day familiarizing myself with 1-3 philosophers and their most basic ideas/teachings. Some are pretty basic, some are interesting and some are just a bit too hard to chew. I'm almost halfway through and I found some that I would be interested to dive in, so I scribbled in my commonplace book for more reading. 

Wait, I actually want to say that, even with my reading intensity, I realized that there are so many things that are still hard to understand; reading philosophy is one, reading scientific articles is another, and not starting on educational textbooks yet. At most, learning is always a humbling experience, because you are being reminded that you are not that smart ALL THE TIME. So I'm being left feeling dumb every day and demotivated because I don't know who to ask? 

 

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Waking up:

I've been having a nice daily routine of sleeping at 8.30 pm and waking up early for a few weeks now. But lately, I always wake up around 2.30 am and then again at 3.30 am, but I'm training myself to wake up after 4.30 am instead. That's an ideal time. The subconscious realm is a bit calmer during those hours. Maybe because people sleep much later than that (possibly after 12 am?), and by the time they start to dream, I'm starting to wake up. 

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The pain:

8 days in, the muscles around my shoulder and neck are still tight. I still can't draw and it is annoying but healing takes time. I know I've been extra tense lately, and I try to move to destress but heyyy, I need to rewire my mind. 

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Trying Out Fujifilm X30:

Miss Chin wanted to sell her camera and asked me to help. I went on a short outing to take some photos and it turned out so good. I want it instead! But I don't have the money yet.

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On Joining Sofi's School Picnic:

If it is not for Sofi, I don't think I would enjoy an outdoor activity with the crowds. But this is special, it was her first picnic with her school (and I promised I wouldn't be my parents - so I'm making an effort). Thank God my brother was there to accompany me, then also my sister and his husband as well or I don't know how would I survive it.

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Suffering:

I think I'm dwelling well, the right amount of sadness, the right amount of grief, the right amount of stress, the right amount of effort to keep on moving to cope, the right amount of study and reading to distract, the right amount of isolation and the right amount of socialization. 

I'm suffering, but I'm managing it. I don't know how I do it, but every day is another challenging day to endure. I know this will pass and I know it's going to be okay.  

Random : May Post

On Running :

That morning I ran again and it felt good. I haven't run early in the morning for quite a while. 

Whatever problems and pain I had were all forgotten during the run, it was just running bliss. The morning mist, the playlist, the cold, all just perfect. I can't believe it was that special. I started running at 7 am and ended the run by 8 am when it started getting hotter. I ended the run with this song.

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On Taking a Walk Alone and Books :

The day before I walked alone at the mall after meeting up for coffee with Miss Chin. Only managed to get a 5 km indoor walk that day. 

I bought 2 books: Beyond Order by Jordan Peterson and A Brief Guide to Philosophical Classics by James M Russell. I noticed that there weren't that many female philosophers or books written by women writers on topics that I want to read - and I wonder why that is? In A Brief Guide to Philosophical Classics, there are introductions to 66 of "the most thought-provoking books ever written" and among that, only 6 were written by women: Ayn Rand, Tove Jansson, Emma Goldman, Naomi Wolf, Luce Irigaray, and Julia Kristeva. 

I haven't finished reading To Paradise by Hanya Yanagihara yet, it's been more than a month. I started early in April during Ramadhan and I enjoyed the slow-reading process whenever I feel like reading it. I am now in chapter 3, the final story based in a dystopian world about 100 years from now (and I don't like reading about a dystopian world because it gives me anxiety).

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On Working During PMS :

I think it's fair to say that the only person that can decide whether they can work during PMS is the person enduring the phase because everyone has a different level of pain and stages. For me, sometimes the cramps are so bad, my face winces for having to hold in the pain, and sometimes my migraines are as bad as feeling like someone is hammering my head while having to focus on a task, not only that, sometimes it is not only the cramps and the migraine, there are few more other worst symptoms to have to deal with along with that: like the painful bloat, or the swelling in certain areas, nausea or fatigue. 

I mean, aren't we all superhuman for having to deal with this as a daughter, a student, a worker, or a mother. We can't simply ask for a 'rest' whenever we are in pain, we probably feel ashamed to even voice out about this and we have to deal with this, for most of our lives, every single month. Imagine that. 2 weeks of rest, and 2 more weeks of pain - every month. 

Our bodies are built differently. Yes, it is definitely not as 'physically' strong as men, but look at how much pain can we women endure throughout our lives. The monthly pain, the pregnancy phase, the childbirth, and the menopause. 

We are superhuman.

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On Raya :

Like all of my raya, it was mostly an anxiety-filled celebration packed with dramas and crowds. We went back to Raub, then Pekan, Kuantan then Nilai. A week of food and people. Sofi fell sick soon after, she had a really bad loud cough with phlegm and cold, a minor fever. But only for a week, then she recovered - quite fast. I don't know whether this was a help, but we gave her pure honey 3 times a day when she was sick. It worked, always. 

Oh yes, I posted a Raya reel on my personal IG. Made a personal IG so I could still post my older version of obnoxious selfies and personal photos (like beautiful foods - haha). The older I get, the more self-conscious I get about everything so I created another IG just purely to self-indulge.

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On Going to KLIF :

I didn't decide on going until the very last minute. Why? Because it was located in the middle of the city center during a heatwave, I had to walk in the heat if I want to only take MRT (the paths Google Maps shared were not fully reliable), and it was my 2nd day of period. 

But, somehow, I bought the ticket and I was there on the first day. Thankfully, I didn't get any headaches until much later in the evening. 

In my mind, I wanted to spend time there, get inspiration, meet like-minded people, and support other artists or anything equivalent to that. But apparently, I'm still in my depressive mode - I didn't feel like anything had changed at all. I just felt old and I felt like I rather spend time reading somewhere silent, nice, and cold. I rather write and listen to poetry music. I rather not mingle with the crowds. 

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On Annoyance :

It has been 12 days since the alarm goes off (probably at one of the factories near my house). 12 days of the sound of the siren-like alarm repeating throughout the whole day, nonstop.

I can't wait, for someone to buy this house. 

I can't wait to leave. 

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On the Memory of Smell :

Do you know that you can keep memories in smell? Sometimes I walk in crowds, my nose captures a smell that I used to know, and I remember these memories far from my past. Then I go to Sephora and asked the seller to give me a smell from a certain tester perfume. I keep the fragranced thin paper as my bookmark because what else can I keep except for the memories? 

Random : March Post

1. Aja's birthday brunch: This was from Kenny Hills IOI Putrajaya. A good place with a huge pastry option and also good food. A bit over-the-budget, but a great place to celebrate something. We tried their Smoked Salmon Pizza and it was divine. Miss Chin introduced me to this place and I came here with my siblings twice already since then. I think it is a recently opened branch. 

Happy with the thick salmon potion :

2. Lovely paragraphs: Iris by Hermann Hesse

3. Song I found that reminds me of a mixture of Air's Playground Love and ROC's Always. I use this track repeatedly since then to write.

Watch the sunrise as we're getting old / I can't describe / I wish I could live through every memory again / Just one more time before we float off in the wind

 

This is also beautiful: Listen Before I Go by Billie Eilish

4. Books: I finished Lily and the Octopus by Steven Rowley, the book made me cry my eyes out. It is about a man named Ted, his aging dog companion named Lily, and an octopus (a tumor growing on its head). I don't have a dog, but I have an 11-year-old cat. It was relatable and it was sad. 

I also finished 6 more books this month, my fav one so far is Notes of Grief by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. I didn't really read much since I started fasting, I started early because I was replacing the missed puasa. 

5. Sofi is on T-Rex Ranch & Peppa Pig craze. She's been calling me 'Mommy Pig', Af 'Daddy Pig' and she's the 'Sofi Pig'. Cute but a bit inappropriate, imagine having the older generation around when she calls us that :F 

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More Random :

• How can Mal be a Morozova ? This is a plot twist I had not expected, I knew he would be someone 'important' but not a Morozova, definitely not that. 'Shadow and Bones' is my current guilty pleasure after 'First Love', I threw away a spoiler because I don't think anyone reads my blog except for me. 
• Reading or writing during a fasting season is twice as hard. And I've been writing and erasing and writing again. 
• In my latest dream, I met a gatekeeper. 
• I posted my latest projects throughout the year on my Behance because I need more projects. Please, anyone, hire me. You have no idea how much I dreaded the portfolio updating phase, but I did it anyway. Well done.

Random : Question question

Good morning guys, I have a great news ! 

The inking and colouring process of my second travel diary is almost finished (current : 45 pages !) . There will be more additional pages of short comic to connect the story, so I think the book will probably reach 50 - 60 pages. For now, most of the pages are just list of things that happened and illustrated visuals. I am sooooo happy and excited :F 

The main question here : 

1. Do I want people to use it as a guide & use it as an activity book while they are in Japan, or just read it as a story? Because this decides how the book should go. 
2. What will the possible title be? 
3. What should I draw on the cover page? 

Tell me what you think !
You can also answer in my Patreon here.

All your input will be taken into consideration ❤ ❤

Random : Holiday Season + Findings

Last Thursday during Merdeka holiday, we went back to Raub for Eid-Adha celebration. 

Happy things that happened during the holiday :

• Learned another new dishes from Af's mom : Chicken rendang + Sardine Curry + Curry Mee with crab. My cooking skill extended vastly since I got married 2 years ago because every time we go back to Raub, there must be something new to learn
• Special birthday party to Af's little sister, we have a very nice relationship despite huge age difference. We clicked since we first met, and she's only 10. We gave her a book, DIY felt set and loom bands accessories. 

That's the traffic when we went back to KL on Sunday and our surprise birthday partay 

• A company in CA, US contacted me regarding stocking my enamel pins + patches to their online shop. Definitely will consider !
• Af's mom passed all raw crystal stones to us (belonged to Arwah Ayah) and I can't wait to do a research. I wear black shungite pendant from Russia (kinda mentioned it before in this post) and keep a moonstone from India on my desk. My dad and brother are also crystal collector =.= but I don't want to be a collector, I am more interested in the crystal properties itself instead of their physical beauty. Note : The reason I wear a shungite pendant with a black thread is because I looove how it looked on me instead of gold and silver and all the lovely things most women love. I don't really wear girly jewelries so I've been searching for something more suitable to wear. And I found this mineraloid for my 30th birthday. Flat black stone kinda represent my rebel and sarcastic nature :

Image taken from their website, thus the dried flower & old parchment

• I also received my parcel consisted of 2 new enamel pin stocks and I am not waiting for the backing card specially designed for these 2 new pins. Pre-order now (until 6th Sept).
• Ptptn loan balance updated and currently only RM 6.5k left to be paid ! Look how far I've crawled.

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Interesting Findings :

• Dear David by Adam Ellis - documenting his ghost experience in his apartment via Twitter
• Men without Women by Haruki Murakami (Hard Cover) - Around 30% cheaper than current local price + free delivery from Book Depository. The paperback version will come out in 255 days =.= I'll definitely buy this soon.
• A writing on " How to Avoid Work : A Guide to Doing What You Love "

Tiny Thoughts : All things random in my life

• Writing: Other than my personal blog, I write as a Chief Designer of Fin.my at: Fin's Medium, although I have my own personal Medium as well but I haven't written anything except replying to Mike Posner's posts and liking other people's articles on weekly basis. Note: I write at Medium when I put on my nerd hat.     

• Data: My new hard disk, Mr. Buffalo *barely 4 months where I kept all data: works, projects, portfolios, inspiration, writings, downloaded vectors, and pictures were taken since 2009, was having a hard time performing since it fell down flat on the floor. I tried to copy all the files *worth 200gb for the longest 5 weeks before any of my computers can no longer detect it. I went to the shop again with the hard disk and the receipt so they can send it back to the factory to get it fixed *3 years of warranty and the guy said that all files were corrupted - with no luck in retrieving anything. In 2 minutes, he wiped out all the data when I said 'ok'. 2 short freakin' minutes. So I lost all my pictures, the ones that I kept since 2009. What did I learn from this? I should have at least 2 backups, not 1 & don't ever trust ONLY ONE DEVICE to keep all your data - ever and print out pictures that I want to keep for the future. T^T 

• Books: New books coming up (they are still fresh on shelves, not even in the paperback edition yet): The Spy by Paulo Coelho, Three Daughters of Eve by Elif Shafak, Absolutely on Music by Haruki Murakami, The Magic String of Frankie Presto by Mitch Albom, Small Great Things by Jodi Picoult. I'm going to buy all these books once they are available in paperback versions, or should I really consider converting to an e-book reader on Kindle (?). This year I only managed to read: 20 books only! - this includes a lot of audiobooks and graphic novels, so I cheated!

• Series: And have you watched the Gilmore Girls revival? I've waited 9 years for this T^T I missed them so dearly, so I didn't wait long to watch the whole 4 hours short series after they were released. It felt more like a new series just about to come out than a continuation of the old series. Not sure whether I'm still in Team Jess or whether I should think like a 30-year-old now and be in Logan's team. When I was much younger, I know I would opt for Jess over and over but now I'm older, I'm a bit realistic when it comes to the choice of father-husband material. Ha.

• 30 days challenge: My current challenge is to digitize everything in my sketchbook for at least 1 page, daily. By the end of my 30 days challenge, I should at least have enough for my first printed zine. I still have time for my Saturn returns !! :F

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Random : Spooky Art Swap by Aviva

Image from Alexia's Twitter

So for my Spooky Swap created by none-other-than the famous tumblr : Aviva Artzy last October, I sent my parcel to another awesome illustrator called Alexia Bee. Aviva contacted me and asked whether I was interested to join the arts swap *there was a lot of super-faaaamous illustrators and artists, and I loooove arts swap, so I said yes, yes, yes. 

Here I just noticed that Alexia posted the stuffs she received from me ❤
Her original post :

i got a beautiful spookyswap package from azreenchan @ instagram (& etsy)!!! 😍💗 i'm elated 🐱 pic.twitter.com/oqpJLhOrl3

— alexia 🌹 (@flowerveil) November 29, 2016

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Awesooooome !

Note : But I haven't received my parcel :F (yet)

This is sooo sad, I want to put a padlock to my post box from now on !

Little Thing 223 : Pokemon Gooo o o

I was born in the 80s, so when Pokemon fever had just arrived in Malaysia in the 90s, my siblings and I were among all the kids 'affected' by the anime. We watched the anime, read the comic, collected the small figurines, sang along to their theme song, watched the first few movies repeatedly, played the game on Gameboy console, and I even finished Pokemon Red + Silver until the very last battle. Yes, I was that dedicated.

But as a kid - and all through my teenage years, that was our 'thing'. It did took a lot of my time, I did stayed in after school to hunt for pokemon and train them all for those battles. But, as normal as anyone who plays game, we should fairly understand that the fever will last depend on the person - some will probably are just not interested, some will play half-way through and some, like me, will spend a LOT of our time finishing up the game. 

But a game, is just a game. 

I had my time, so when the fever strikes again now during my late 20s - I didn't even flinched. I'm not excited, there's no point for me to use my time again to catch all the Pokemon that I caught 15 years ago. Even though they are now in AR world where we can see it in 3D, it still feels like a repetitive game. I already played it twice, I can't put myself in that position again. 

I'm not sure why the world has suddenly put a lot attention in the game until people feel there's a need to put a religious rule on it. How can it be possible for people to say something is haraam just because of all this hype? Can you imagine if for example, my sister downloaded it and caught like 3 pokemons, and rarely open it and suddenly my mom saw her playing the game on just random event when she was bored - and because of the ridiculous new rule she read on shared Facebook post, my mom scolded her for committing a sin =.= Because all mak-mak really like sharing stuffs on social media and believe them all word-by-word. This wouldn't be the first time I argue with my mom about shared posts on social media. Haiyooh.

For me, a game is still a game - any game can affect the player depend on how they decide to play it. It is the same concept. As an ex-gamer, I wouldn't judge other gamers - I just hope they can use their time wisely and play the game moderately. 

These are the points they claimed :

• Bahaya dari segi pengintipan pihak luar 
• Pencerobohan ruang peribadi 
• Faktor keselamatan seperti kemalangan 
• Kelalaian 
• Ketagihan melampau terhadap gajet 
• Kehilangan fokus terhadap realiti sekeliling 
• Gangguan emosi seperti mudah marah akibat kekalahan - what?
• Membawa kepada akhlak yang buruk 
• Ancaman kepada pekerjaan dan pelajaran

As one of the Pokemon gamer 15 years ago that spent 3-6 hours everyday training and hunting for Pokemon, I can conclude that it did took a lot of my time, but everything turned out just fine. My exam results turned out good and my state of mind was just fine. Ditto both my younger siblings and the kids in our neighbourhood.
We had our time. It was all just a game.

Note : The fever was expected, but the new religious rule was not.

Little Things 210 : Having You

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That's the thing, I never thought I would reach this phase.

The phase where everywhere is home when I'm with you.

I no longer feel the need to run. To leave. All those places I longed to explore are now meaningless if I can't have you next to me. I used to be so independent. So certain. I could go everywhere, leave everything and start a new. I guess not anymore. It feels like there's no point of leaving everything on my own.

That's what love makes me feel.

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This is yet the best thing that God sent to me for my short stay in this life,
And I can't thank You enough.

Random : Update :(

I'm still sick, so I'll be churning words to write for another week.

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Event : Post - My 22nd

Not only it marked my 22nd event, it was also my shortest stay on an event. I managed to stay a whole day for yesterday - not planning on going back until Friday *because I am workaholic and work has been too great to be missed for this. It was the feeling of familiarity, of going back to where I've been for 4 years of my life, of looking at people I can still recognize. Yet, everything is different. I am no longer a student, it's been almost 5 years since I left.

For now;

I work full time | I am married | I am happy
❤

Things changed and everything didn't feel the same. 

Image from Pinterest

Tiny Thoughts : Tiny Dot

If you feel insecure about people reading your blog,
might as well make it a private blog or 'by invitation only',
after all, you write to share with the world.

What's there to lose?

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I'm back healthy, woohoo! 

Random : Is it ?

Sometimes in a certain phase in life, we get quite close with a person or two.

We meet everyday, text each other, spend most of free time together.

And under certain circumstances when the phase ends, they slowly disappear from your life. Sometimes with reasons, sometimes there's nothing worth the explanation. They leave you with an empty hole that you've created for them in the beginning. 

And you've begin to wonder, how can you actually started it in the first place? What actually went wrong? But it took not so long to recover, and you asked yourself again : why it took this certain amount of time to get used to the emptiness that they left behind?

Then you realized, that you actually knew from the start that they don't belong to you. 

Not at that moment, not ever.

So you don't feel like you missed much.
You see, how can you lose something that never yours in the first place?

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There are certain things in life that I want to forget.
Because if I don't, it will keep on replaying over and over again, like broken record player.

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I would like to pretend that I still have it in me.

The sense of individuality, the passion for life, the voice deep within.

I reached the conclusion about what this life means to me and how clear it is - that I am nothing but a creature of the moment, given a life for a short duration of time with vague reasons that only God knows why. And all those passions I've been striving for slowly disappear like cold morning mist.

If this is a way to live then why it feels so hollow ?

I want nothing, and I need nothing. 

Random : Accumulated Little Posts

1. I found Spotify App for MacBook and downloaded it. 

It opens a door to my daily pleasant life.
Current songs I'm lovin :

• All I want by Kodaline
• Naked as we came by Iron & Wine
• I do by Susie Suh

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2. I paid back full my first PTPTN loan.

This leaves me with second PTPTN and another 8 years.

3. I am getting really pessimist about my view on life since I work with daily news input. It is challenging and exciting but it is also washing away my positivity. I can't even tune out or close my eyes anymore. I really hate the society these days. This is my confession, and I can't even find any reason to tolerate.   

4. I think I'm going to accept few regularities from now on.

5. Among other thing, my latest infographic just came up on the site, check it out here.

I am loving my professional work as a designer from now on. The pace is just "oh-yes-this-is-goo-od" and there's so many creative works I'm doing for Piktochart, TRP and Moneytree. At one point it is exhausting, but I just can't stop surfing in the wild waves yet.

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6.  I bought The Prophet by Khalil Gibran that was first published in 1923 and just realized that Paulo Coelho used the whole idea of the book into writing Manuscript found in Accra. I just can't accept the fact that he didn't mentioned anywhere in the book that it was inspired by Khalil Gibran's work. I even noticed it only by accident when I decided to buy it and give the old classic a try.

I've read Paulo's biography, and even though I am trying hard to forget him as a selfish backstabber while living in a denial of doing nothing wrong as if achieving his dream is the only thing important in his life - I can't just accept the fact that he just did it again when we used almost the whole idea from The Prophet to write something similar and again, succeeded tremendously. He should at least credited Khalil Gibran. I lost respect towards the old man - but I'm still going to read his stories because he is a good storyteller.

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7. We went to dine at Sushi Zanmai yesterday.
This was the most decent food we had, among spicy ramen, soft-shell crab, and a tempura set. I also love the fact that I can still use my iPhone 4s to take a decent picture. Still my best hide-out ; Avenue K. Huge Popular-Muji-Daiso-CottonOn, great Japanese pastries, and far less crowd than KLCC.
I still miss the hectic city vibe.

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