Little Things 96 : Small business, big talk

For many times in my life, people look down at what I do to support my living. For example, Ma said she pitied me, for having to do this, she expected more from me than sitting in a booth selling things that I made, for time I used to cut those stickers, for sleepless night doodling. She said for someone as smart as me, I should sit in the office and use my brain for financial support instead of burning my time and energy.

This, shocked me. Truthfully, I love what I do. I love all the struggle to survive. I love creating things and seeing people's face when they see it. I love meeting people indirectly, trying to connect with them not by talking but merely by showing my things and sketches. The money part is bonus, really. 

People might not see the way I see things, and I may not be able to let them understand, but in truth, I am glad I have something to connect with people. Other than this, it is really hard for me to even have a decent conversation. So I need this for once in awhile, it's a therapy. 

I don't need a pity, I do this for myself, no one ever forced me to this, so why would anyone feel like I had to do it? If all I ever wanted is money, I'd probably do this much differently. Every time I heard people's thoughts concerning what I do, I feel the urge to defend myself, to say that I'm okay with what I am doing in my free-time, but who am I really talking to? People make judgements anyway whether we want it or not.  

You see, all the big business talk with me is nothing if you don't make your own things and sell it yourself because you are not in my shoes. Your degree in business means nothing, if you can only give thoughts on how to do it but never did it anyway. I've heard so many ideas and opinions, but if you never did things that I did, you don't know what you are talking about. Create and make something from scratch and sell it to people, I want to see how long can you survive, then we can have the business talk.

The 4 years experience in small business is priceless, at least for me. 

Event : Rimba & Rusa

This would be not my 17th but my 18th booth.

Typed on Saturday before the event :

I got to be one of the vendor for today's Rimba & Rusa by Wondermilk & Hellodeer. The feeling I got to get in is like when the first time I finally got a place for the Pipit's event few years ago. Over the years, applying and getting rejection from events and small independent shops are almost common for me. Opening a booth in one of Wondermilk's event is one of my aim this year, so I had to try to get in before the year ends. I got in, wihu! *PS : I was rejected once from one of their event before this.

When I got their e-mail, 2 days ago, I was excited ! Despite not having any transportation to go to Damansara Uptown while bringing up my things and props, I decided to go just through it. I already paid for the booth, and later planned my route via googlemaps. 

The closest train stations are LRT Taman Paramount and LRT Kelana Jaya, after that my plan was to go there by taxi. I was not going to complain over having to ride public transportation to open a booth because no one forced me to do this, I just had to achieve my goal and that was it.  

Before ma went out this morning, she asked me :

"Don't you have any friends to help take you there by car ?"

And I answered,

"No, ma. I don't have friends."

*statement made based on friends to help me with my free-time activities, because at that time, I can't think about any names at all. But I have some friends, of course, kot. Ha.

I packed all my stuffs in the most convenient way to commute. Half things in my bakul, and another half in my canvas totebag, plus my handbag. 3 things. If people could travel with a huge backpack across the world, how hard it is to carry 3 things to Damansara Uptown?, I thought silently. 

*

Typed on Sunday, one day after the event :

After 2 hours of bus ride (RM 3), trains (RM 3.30) and taxi (RM 11), I arrived in front of Hello Deer, feeling excited because I managed to arrive safely. I asked the organizer about how to choose my desk and started to set-up my booth. 

3pm - 12am,

after 18 events, I can conclude that this was one of the bad event for me : 

1. I was starving because I forgot my breakfast and lunch. *aja only came after 7pm.

2. I was alone and there was really no one I could push myself to talk to.

3. I was in a bad mood because I was really hungry,  beyond friendly words.

4. I almost finish reading Susan Sontag's diaries in one go.

5. Almost no crowd. I wish for more people, less hipstery people and more artsy people instead. But no.  Maybe I expected more, but people said : expect less, so you won't feel disappointed much. For the first time, I feel out of place.

But the place is beautiful, decorations, environment, yes, they have a great taste. I love Wondermilk and Hello Deer, thanks a lot for having me. You guys did a great job, I'll have a taste of your mouth-watering-foods in the future ya.

And I guess my doodles are not up for the upper-east side :D 

xoxo, budaksukacontengan.