Little Stories 290 : On Being Sick, Meeting Awful People and Walking

On Being Sick:

I tried with herbal cough syrup and honey for 9 days, before I finally gave in and went to the doctor to get it checked. My cough was not getting any better after more than a week. The doctor checked my throat and said "Definitely viral infection, your throat is red and inflamed, even after a week". She prescribed me antibiotics and medication for the cough + phlegm. 

Sofi just got better from her long cough viral infection; now it is my turn to fight it. 

To sprinkle more salt on the wound, Sofi has had conjunctivitis since yesterday and she's also been prescribed antibiotics for the eye. So we are both stuck at home, not feeling well. 

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On Meeting Awful People in Life:

I think I hardly met awful people in life before because I've been lucky for a while. But for the past 2 years, I kept on stumbling into awful people who gave me awful life experiences, especially in the work field (I mean 3 times in 2 years is a lot). 3 bosses, 3 really bad experiences. Each was unique, but all were awful. I'm actually traumatized because I've never faced this much negativity upon negativity for a long stretch of time. I'm losing my confidence and my positive vibes. 

I used to think that we need to treat people with kindness and always try to see the good side of people. But now, I'm so suspicious and distrustful, that I feel like people will hurt me somehow if I'm not being careful. If I keep on being me, if I insist on being honest and show my vulnerability in exchange for connection and trust. I hate that. I want to believe that we are kind and trustworthy, that we are better. But we are not, are we. Except if we keep sitting in our little bubble of hope and love, only letting nice things in.

Ok, then, how to survive this?

How to survive in a world where both good and evil are present? 

Tell me, I want to know your take on this because I'm tired of defending humankind, I'm giving up.

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Walking:

For the past couple of weeks, I've been walking for at least 5,000 steps daily. On a good walking day, I could get around 10-12k steps, but on a rainy day, I would just walk indoors in my apartment (a really boring repetitive walk). I try my best to walk outside, especially after picking up Sofi from the kindergarden or on days that I feel awful. 

I opted for walking because running still makes me uncomfortable or gives me a coughing fit. I needed a low-intensity routine because I'm unintentionally losing weight so much that I'm beginning to worry. But for all that matters, I hope to manage my stress and anxiety much better. 

I'm taking one step at a time. 

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On Watching Inside Out 2:

Loved it. I love the visual representation of everything, even if it might not be scientifically correct. It can give some insights to people who are not familiar with anxiety and panic attacks, on hitting puberty and feeling overwhelmed, on reminding ourselves about the importance of learning how to regulate emotions.

I mean, if I can go back in time, I would teach myself all that. 

How to regulate emotion, the importance of having a strong root, moving and having an active lifestyle, or managing stress and anxiety, and the importance of healthy whole food or the effect of whatever you consume on your body. I don't think I'm too late, I hope I still have long years to go, so I hope to teach Sofi all these :F 

One thing I really don't want to pass on to her is my anxiety. 

So, if I could teach her early, I would try my best to let her explore all emotions and learn how to regulate them.