Most introverts hate small talks.
It is one thing that most of us fail to understand.
I asked my siblings all the time :
Why would someone want to ask about something personal in short meetings?
What I am currently doing?
When will I get married? Have children ?
How is my family?
Where I am working at?
How much is my salary?
All those small talks people usually do when they meet in short time : weddings, bump into one another at supermarket , while waiting bus , etc.
Some say it is a way to avoid being rude for not asking or trying to care. For my opinion, small talks are a bit rude, you know when people ask something personal because it looks nice and it is what everyone does, and silence or not asking anything seems rude. It is much better to just shake hands, smile and ask 'how are you' , in meeting old-old-old friends, people that you use to know in a class you took several years ago, and such than trying to seems like you care.
Social Interaction for introverts :
They dislike small talk and would rather say nothing than something they feel is insignificant. Although introverts are quiet, they will talk incessantly if they’re interested in the topic. They also dislike being interrupted when they talk, or when they’re working on some project. - Carol Bainbridge
It is something that I found a bit relieving when I feel much much much comfortable for not having to ask anything and trying to keep up in a short conversation. This explains why my mom said my aunts are scared to talk to me because I look uninviting and even several other mums said that too. I know how my aura of "don't-try-to-small-talk-with-me" because I usually see it from people's reaction after I give that aura. Ha. In a way, it is much better if you talk - I just listen, and I'll talk when I feel like talking.
Waiting for me to ask anything will take probably take so much processing in my mind that it left me exhausted afterwards. I am serious.
Anyhow, for any introverts who wants to learn the art of small talk, read :
*
PS : Mum said "stop making that serious face of yours, smile like your sister".
I am being myself.
I am serious.
:D
I totally see what you mean, especially bab2 aunties and older relatives who sometimes don't really seem to care much about your answer other than to comment/judge/saje2 borak for no reason...
ReplyDeleteHowever, I am an introvert who is trying to be slightly less kera-sumbang and more smiley-friendly, and one of the reasons that I think people make small talk is to find connections. Between the second person and anything related to you (or someone you know). Smiling and introducing oneself starts to melt the ice (and eliminate that sombong, sendiri-sendiri effect) but finding similarities between random human beings kinda just breaks all ice blocks in the vicinity.
At least I think so. :) And I'm sure there are more points. Tapi kena tanya extroverts kot. :P
I hear you, Aneesah :D
ReplyDeleteI'll try my best to be friendly once in a while.
Challenging tho.